Pathfinder, 10/26

“Who said you’re going to be killing someone?”
“I won’t be.  I don’t have a weapon.”

“Your fault for decking sideways!”

“I have to roll initiative for a hug?  Man, this is a rough game.”

“Wait, you’re made of STEAK?!”
“Get the knives!”

“I’m sorry… nuts started moving around and I got scared… so I just HIT ’em.”

“If he goes unconscious, I would like to pee on him.”

“Roll your d4 [for Charisma bonus], for what it’s worth, you ugly beast.”
“Four!  Sexy beast.”

“There we go!  It’s a bag of coconut holding!”
“Done!  Life goal.”

“To be fair, though, only one of us pooped out a giant shark-dog.”

“What was it? ‘Candy-gram.'”
“That’s what your shark-dog sounds like?  He runs around the deck saying, ‘Candy-gram’?”

“This is like every LucasArts game in the 80s!”

“I need to take Perform: Oratory.”
“The ladies like it.”

“I’m just glad, with that motion I made, that we were all adult enough to think spyglass.”

“He has a hard time hearing because he’s blinded by the light.”

“Why would you tell anyone that? ‘If we run into any undead, I can master them.'”

“The fish-man slithers up, carrying the goblin, with – well, I’d say wide eyes, but how can you tell?”

“Also, those of us without…”
“Hit points?”
“Low-light vision…”

“Am I allowed to complete my minute?”
“Unless anyone has anything stupid to do.”

“I will make HER large, because she is a braver man than most.”

“So proud of you, Jon, now you’re just like me.”
“What?”
“Not paying attention.”

“Armor class 16, sir.  Even the enfeebled rat hates your singing.”

“Maybe I want to be on the rats’ team.”

“Wonder-miss powers activate!”

“Bard tank for the win!”

“Hold on, I just moved.  I can’t swab yet.”

“Swab-swab-swab, bleed on the deck.”

“I am both gratified and horrified now, sir.”

“I’m very good with the orc ladies, because I dance so premium.”

“And anything to drink that is not rum.”
“I have hold full of rat water, but it is not premium, I think.”

“What do you get for shirking?”
“A stealth check or in trouble?”

“I don’t need her.  I can fertilize the eggs now.  Just drop them on the ground…”

“You want some caviar?”
“Give me two minutes and the naturalist’s guide to fish species.”

“He drinks it…”
“And his liver falls out of his body.”

“Besmara has not seen fit to let me know what Shark-Dog might be romantically interested in.”

“I failed every single attack in the combat so I could arm-wrestle the crap out of these people.”

“As long as he doesn’t do anything stupid, he’ll survive that.”
“Sounds like my girlfriend…”

“I’m pretty much not taking dating advice from that side of the table – sorry, Jon.”

“Your hammock or mine?  No, wait, I still live in the basement with my mother.”
“No, your sister.”

“He has not been peed on.”
“No, he has not been peed on yet.”
“He will be, at some point in this campaign…”

Category(s): Pathfinder
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  • That’s exactly what I was thnnkiig a scene or two from We Be Goblins. There’s a scene that happens before the play begins so it won’t be a spoiler.It’s when the goblin tribe discovers that one of their own has been writing which is a terrible crime because it steals words from your mind. He’s also discovered a cache of fireworks. Big booms.