Pathfinder, 8/6

“I was very afraid at that time; I was new and you people were awful.”

“Placebo Man.  I don’t actually have any powers, but I make people feel better anyway!”

“Were you using ‘the floor is lava’ as an excuse to not get your ass off the couch and do the dishes?  Because I do that.”

“Not only will we not be done with this book, we’ll have regressed BACK a book.”

“What are you doing in Salt Lake City?”
“Going to a strip club!  Didn’t you hear?”

“What is Dr. Who?”
“Get out.”

“We have no frame of reference for productivity.”

“I’m not entirely sure I have all my teeth.  I’m not entirely sure I had all my teeth before now, because I’d never bothered to count them…”

“It sounds like it’s time to resurrect Operation Cannon Raft.”

“You can respect him with the cannon.”

“I think Kevin wants to give us information, and we’re arguing about cannon rafts and fish wishes.”

“Look, here is cannon ball.  I’ll write ‘respect’ on it…”

“Just pull your collar up high and act like a bag of dicks.”

“You can’t quit; you’re an NPC!”

“He’s not going to help us.”
“He’s got to; we’re PCs.”

“Are you selling Pirate Scout cookies?”

“Why do you talk to your best friend about his magical underwear?”
“You don’t?”

“I can’t do Brian Blessed voice.  My mouth doesn’t open that wide.”

“Nobody can open their mouth that wide.  Brian Blessed can’t open his mouth that wide.  He had to have his face surgically altered.”

“He does prefer the term His Highness Razzmatazz.”

“No, Garden Cheddar is another lord; he’s the lord of Harvest Cheddar Sun Chips.”

“How do we get the message to them?”
“We frustrate Kacey until he sounds like an alarm or siren, and then everyone can hear him…”

“…You’re laughing at ‘girth’, aren’t you.”

“Do we have to buy a ticket to see Lord Raffles?”

“We have come lo, these many miles…”
“Shut up.  So…”

“It’s an opportunity to black the eye of Chelliax.”
“Without trying to ram the country; that didn’t work out so well.”
“It dodged.”

“We stroked the oak and ended up in another city.”
“Well, thanks for ruining the rest of this…” [Angry Orchard cider]

“I thought I was the plucky comic relief!”
“The asshole usually thinks that!”

“I was going to say… how much longer can we carry this conversation forward before we realize we’re all horrible people?”

“Next time we send the fish-man, because at least when he looks bad, he looks bad from the start.”

“Somebody actually remembered a name; I am impressed.”

“Not that I have anything against bards, which I do.”
“Except you work for one.”
“Don’t tell them that…”

“Kacey, you are a slippery fucker.”

“Because we know the fish and the trees have an alliance.”

“I think the wizard’s becoming a Sith over there.”

“Everybody in the group has to click Accept on the damn quest!”

“What does petard taste like?”
“It has gluten.”

“Nobody expects the fish-man inquisition.”

“At least it has local color.”
“I’m pretty sure that color is ‘cholera’.”

“I’m pretty sure I just got the clap looking at this place.”

“Now the question is, how MANY of them can sneak attack me in one turn…?”

“No.  There’s no one in here – especially now that you’re buying drinks for them – that is interested in fighting you.”

“Uh, do we have plans for how to rearrange the power structure when some of these pirates die?”
“I think we were hoping that the PCs could just slide on into those roles…”

“Not all pirate lords are pro-slavery.”
“Not all pirate lords are pro-slavery.”
“Didn’t I just say that?”

“We’ve got loose morals!  SIGN THE DAMN NOTE!”

“If you’ve got high enough Linguisitics, you can sign for someone!”
“That’s called forgery.”
“As a pirate, that’s the same thing!”

“I signed it with my own hand.”
“Did you have a pen?”

“If you have any magic macrame, I’d be interested in rubbing my body against.”
“If I had any macrame, I’d burn it before you came over to my house.”

“Fuck, someone’s actually reading the evidence!  That’s just a cookbook; I lost it somewhere along the way in all the teleporting!”

“Not just Pegsworthy; I’d like to put my name on the list of idiots as well.”

Category(s): Pathfinder

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