Pathfinder, 8/20

“Bryan, I sent you your panties.”
“…What?”

“Hey, ‘just the tip’ was your idea!”

“If it’s not margaritas, it’s something else that speaks Spanish.”

“Which one of those got tweeted?”
“Antonio Banderas.”

“Surely that won’t come back to bite me in the left testicle.”
“Why the left one?”
“The right one’s gone.”

“This is why I’m good at Fiasco!  I randomly reveal things that are neither true nor poignant!”

“If that’s the average mental age of the group, someone has to be bringing it down.”
“Or up.”

“The pirate capitol, which is Port Peril, which is what I said the second time…”

“Right, so now we need to keep pieces of everyone.”
“‘Now?'”

“Hey, I’m going to try to kill you; I need you to sing the competence song.”

“The most important part of dealing with devils is giving them something you don’t want.”

“Which half of the rope is your favorite, Bryan?”
“The half that’s not tied around his neck?”

“One of them has boobs and one of them has one leg.”
“He has a pegleg?”
“Well, he’s called Pegsworthy!”

“You know, we’re technically the heroes; why do we have to have a patron?”
“You’re right.  Open fire.”

“Wait, you say ‘some assholes,’ and someone hands you their phone and says, ‘here,’ why would you take it?”

“So ‘some assholes’ only got you one hit, and…”
“And ‘starfish chocolates’ gives me a very realistic cake… colored and everything…”

“So what does Tessa Fairwind have to say?”
“NOTHING.  She got close enough to hear your conversation and decided to burn the town.”

“So all we could do is go back into the past and watch ourselves fuck up?”

“Am I bowling for dice cubes?”

“Sometimes my brain gets ahead of where my mouth is.  That happens in Fiasco too.  Sometimes I run out of words before I run out of breath.”

“That’s an excellent drawing of a refrigerator.”
“It’s a manila folder!”

“We’re trying to teleport to…?”
“The Wanderlust.”
“Don’t try to teleport there if you don’t know where we’re going!”

“Would you like to go buy a ring of Feather Fall before we go?”
“Nope!  I like to do things the hard way.”

“Okay, so, let me see if I can get answer from someone that’s not about to go overboard.  Where are we?”

“…Did a sing-a-long just occur?”
“Yeah.”

“That’s because we’re actually very bad at this game.”

“Human.  It happens to be spelled H-A-L-F-E-L-F, but Sam’s sure he’s human.”

“The only reason you want to run away is that we told you that you couldn’t surrender.”

“My uncle branched out into donkey fisting, but there was no money in that.”

“I’m doing the dance of ship finding.  Is it working yet?  I’ll try harder.”

“Why do you always dwell on the negative?”
“Because I’m thinking of all the Darryl deaths.”

“Gill bites off full heads.”
“That was just… many of the times…”

“So as opposed to Saucy, who attempts to make his character less useful, you’re attempting to make your character more powerful.  I’m confused.”
“It’s a different school of thought.”

“Did you leave him on my ship?”
“Yes.”
“I’m going to kill you later…”

“Hero point.”
“No, you killed my husband.  No hero point.”
“Two.”

“Death has never actually stopped Kevin.”

“See?  My sing-a-long buddy appreciates my humor.”

“What the hell.”
“What the hell, indeed.”
“That’s as rousing an endorsement as we’ve gotten so far.”

“They’re gonna get about a third of the distance of a three-day trip in one day.”

“They have taken Arronax and turned him into a figurehead.”
“…Is he magical now?”

“Maybe if we make it north to the coffee stain, it will form a protective residue…”

“Spoken like someone that hasn’t been turned into a slug person.”

“We’re also not going back in time to take advantage of mechanics that were available to us.”

“I’m actually concerned that he’s in that fleet that’s destroying ships on the way here.”
“That just means he’s smarter than us.”

“I suggest we deploy Operation Cannon Raft once and for all.”

“That’s my selling point when I go into a bar: I can’t promise it will be good or bad, but it will be quick.”

Category(s): Pathfinder
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