Call of Cthulhu, 1/4

“Meme is Facebook for news?”

“This is the best custard you’ve ever had in your mouth… but not in your hands.”

“But he’s useful!”
“I have proven that that’s not necessary.”

“…75 dead miners…”
“Twenty-five.”
“The hundred and twenty-five dead miners…”

“What time is it, by the way?”
“Hot.”
“No, what time is it?”
“Hot. And flies.”

“Let’s go to the ruined city. I’ve been in lots of not-ruined cities.”

“Now that I’ve written Bungabinniwell down on my character sheet, they’re going to drive straight through to the next town.”

“You guys just make up sounds, don’t you.”
“Bunga-billy-bop.”

“You’re an angler fish?”

“I’m going to leave two bundles of the dynamite in the car.”
“Only two…?”

“All of the wood in a 2 hour radius is in this tiny town.”
“Just to make the place more cheerless.”

“…I’m not gonna do an accent.”
“You interpreted that look correctly.”
“Well, when the whole table looks…”

“He’s decided to cut out the middle-man in having characters die, and start with a pack.”

“The more you say that, the less I believe you.”

“Your species is just not good at space or distances.”

“The thunder doesn’t sound Singapor-ian, does it?”

“Did you want to take the coaster off before you drank that, or were you going to eat the coaster too?”

“So it’s a dismembered eye…?”

“Do you mean the sun?”
“Sure. …I don’t know what I mean; that’s what the GM said.”

“I know a guy, but he doesn’t have much use for money, so you’re probably going to have to barter with him.”
“I will barter with him for money.”

“You didn’t bring me here to kill me, did you?”
“No. I brought you here to rip you off, not to kill you.”

“Bruce?”
“Bruce.”
“Of course.”
“If it helps any, it’s in quotation marks.”

“He’s dead and sweating!”

“I thought you were going to be the doctor!”
“He’s the opposite of the doctor.”

“No, no. Please. Kill the man. Be merciless and without regret.”
“I have mercy! I could regret it!”
“You were grinning!”

“I feel like gaming is an outlet for a dark side of Jason that we don’t really want to know.”

“Are we going to barter for his life in return for crates?”

“That’s not something to be happy about!”
“No, but I’m right!”

“Kacey, do me a solid and never laugh like that again.”

“Oh, and me trying to mercy-kill a guy is the problem?!”

“No, that’s not psychology, Jason. That’s mercy-killing. ‘I’m going to psychology them with a pillow tonight!'”

“You’ve got probably 20 minutes until a mob comes after you. Granted, a tiny mob…”

“You should find out if it’s been a full while or just most of a while.”

“True. We’re not assuming the sexual preferences of the bowl.”

“Let’s take the air out of these tires and put it in our tires.”
“Because more air pressure is better.”

“Are you painting flames on it?”
“No. It’s hot enough. We’re painting rain on it.”

“And I’m thinking, did I name the stupid vehicle? I didn’t write it down…”

“Okay, I am… immediately going to regret asking this question, but can you follow it?”

“So really, you just told told him to have fun at a funeral.”

“A game of bugs around dead people. That sounds like an amazing game.”

“What did the camels do?”
“They fucked the rabbits.”

“You hear humpback, you think it’s a joke…”
“No kind of joke, but lots of lube.”

“You do notice that he’s trying to keep the camel pointed away from your vehicle.”
“That’s because the camel wants to fuck the vehicle.”

“It’s almost like I wasn’t told this information just now.”

“And the camel moves forward by throwing its feet as far as possible away from itself and then kind of catching up.”

“I could show you pictures.”
“I didn’t look away.”

“It only had one hump, so it’s a manual camel. The ones with two are automatic.”

“It has three eyes.”
“It’s compensating for something.”

“How many weiners does it have?”
“Enough to be the father of all bats.”

“Okay, I’ve got to know – are you guys sure you weren’t just standing to the side of it?”

“The other half of the father of all bats?”
“The mother of all bats?”

“I walked into that so hard that my nose hurts.”

Category(s): Call of Cthulhu 7th Edition
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