Call of Cthulhu, 2/22

“That says fire eater.”
“No it doesn’t.”
[two at once] “Yes, it does.”

“If you have an indeterminate tuber status, you’re not on the list.”
“I know some people with that status.”

“I think we’re playing fast and loose with arms.”
“Says the guy 200 years in the past.”

“I think I missed part of that conversation, but I’m not sure ‘missed’ is the verb I want to use.”

“He’s a pseudo-scientist.”

“He’s got pseudopods. And he’s a scientist…”

“Why are you here?”
“I’m not sure myself.”

“We can’t give you cheat-sheets. We’re not in your head.”

“Guys, real quick – he’s asking why we’re here…”

“If only he’d taken over someone who’d taken notes.”
“If only I’d been here for more than half the sessions.”

“They haven’t learned the edict of big dumb guy.”
“They are now.”

“We’re here to stop him.”
“And place yourself upon the throne?”
“Well, now that you mention it…”

“Well, how many of you are there now?”
“I am one.”

“Did you say Chinese yith body?”
“Maybe a little psyche blurring there…”

“Why did you choose this species?”
“It was a mistake. They’re poorly designed.”

“Something has gone critically wrong with your leader.”
“He’s more of a figurehead.”

“He’s secretly large. He’s bigger on the inside.”

“I have no idea what any of this means.”
“Food?”

“I think we should get a giant space monster – a second giant space monster – on our team.”

“And I don’t think blowing up the rubble is going to make the road more smooth.”

“You had to clean up the fields so giant pseudopods can slither through them? You grew up on a strange farm.”

“So, this is what we in the Royal Navy call role-play.”

“That was me saying that, not Stanley.”
“Yeah, but Stanley was thinking it.”

“Stanley was hired to do a job, but he’s starting to wonder if this is even related to the job he was hired for.”

“He’s a pseudo-pudding monster?”

“I need to make a charming roll on him…”

“The great thing is, when his faculties are gone, we can just leave him in a ditch, because he wanted his own free will to do NOTHING.”

“Well, see, I’m thinking my answer will convince you that he’s right, so…”

“Are we really talking about how fragile our bodies are? Is this actually helping anything?”

“I won’t turn on the thing unless Guy comes out and starts shooting people.”
“That’s reasonable. And plausible.”

“I brought him back in exactly the same state you brought him to me in!”
“Or he could have done better, but Guy shot him.”

“He’s fine.”
“Okay. You’re speaking in cicada.”

“There was a traffic cone, and it was really huge. And it was mad at me, because I shot it.”

“Well… good job not falling for it.”
“Well, that apology went sideways.”

“And by ‘congratulations,’ I mean, ‘good job not falling into my hands.'”

“I would encourage you not to go willy-nilly testing whether people like to be shot.”

“Do they have binary gender?”
“That’s not a line of questioning I want to pursue.”

“I’m kind of curious now.”
“Only because they’ve been in your head and you’re wondering whether you should be aroused or not.”

“Strictly speaking, I haven’t shot anybody in 200 years…”

“Well, that was the surprise round, and everybody was really surprised when the gun didn’t go off.”

“I will be right back. My character is still in the car, I have realized…”

“Your concern for phonetics and letters has unnerved Stanley. Can you go back to shooting anything that moves?”

“You have skewered a 56 year old white man.”

“Shoot at him, and then say, ‘Tarnation,’ no matter the results.”

“Yeah, it’s just not going to work. Guy is sticking his head in the hole.”

“I feel like there’s no universe where this is how humans would behave.”

“You’ve obviously never been in a dark cave with a burning body with Jason before.”
“…No, I have.”

“Apparently I’m borrowing Alice’s dynamite and waiting for everyone to get their head out of the hole.”

“We’re negotiating with an alien again. I’m really not okay with this.”

“I’d like you to hold this dynamite for a minute.”
“Is it lit?”
“Not yet.”

“Hildebrand’s least favorite session ever. Had to negotiate with aliens…”

“I’m like the United States now. I don’t negotiate with aliens. The answer is always no.”

“Two hundred years, one point of sanity.”

“Of our complete sample size, half of them were damaged.”

“Why is there a rumbling noise?”
“Because you said that the machines in there could be dangerous. So I turned it on.”

“I stole someone’s psyche to get here from the end of the universe, and I think you have strange ideas of right and wrong.”

“Tarnation! They’re too primitive.”

“It’s hard to keep sanity in this tiny human body. It keeps sliding right out.”

Category(s): Call of Cthulhu 7th Edition
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