Call of Cthulhu, 3/1

“So we have Schroedinger’s cthuloids.”

“And it would have been so much better to have our two gunfighters shooting at each other…”

“That doesn’t make sense. We all exist in the same dimensions. Some of it just do better.”

“John, is there something you’d like to tell us? Are you a squirrel?”
“No, but I do like to rob bird feeders.”

“I will not be a sucker to your shenanigans. I mean, unless you offer me something really good. What have you got?”

“He’s a nice guy.”
“And from what I understand, he’s very vulnerable to lightning guns.”
“Yeah, but I’m pretty sure that can be said of anyone.”

“That sounds reasonable. Wait… are we going to cut them open?”

“I grew up on a farm…”
“Who ran the farm, Hannibal Lecter?”
“It was like the Texas Chainsaw Massacre…”

“Then they came up with the crank handsaw massacre…”

“That was the Texas eggbeater massacre.”

“Do we have appropriate injection apparatus?”
“Syringes?”

“He hands you what you desparately hope is not a stomach.”
“Ewwww.”
“What, you can’t stomach it?”

“We definitely chose the moral middle ground.”
“I chose this course of action to keep from blowing up the city.”

“I write like I have stock in the company that makes commas.”

“No, I’m going to make it so if I become irrational, it will take slightly longer for me to shoot you.”

“When I hear you say you’re unloading the shotgun…”

“Well, I’m certainly not going to tell people how to get here. I might, in fact, make a career of guiding people away.”

“Do we need to know?”
“Glad you walked away now?”

“That’s an image no man at this table needed.”
“I think that’s an image no woman at this table needed.”

“If I don’t want things to leak, I should probably stop putting holes in them.”

“Oh, are we demanding tweets now?”
“No, I just thought it was funny.”
“I have to decide what I’m doing first, jesus christ.”

“Good lord. I said no because I wanted more information on how to stop it, not on what it was going to do!”

“You see Ulrich’s beard grow a few inches, his skin gets sallow…”
“You could have gotten your afro back.”

“You didn’t know it was a hair-growing machine!”

“She was being prepared – ”
“For something creepy.”
“By someoneone…”
“Creepy.”

“So what do you thing happens to the sphincter when you shoot it with a lightning gun?”
“It puckers.”

“What. Is. Your. Nation? It has a butthole! Your nation is a butthole!”

“So you’re saying Australia stops at the surface…?”
“This is not Rappaportopia!”

“He wants to create a zipline that goes over the Earth’s butthole. You’re basically building a thong!”

“Anybody else want boobs?”

“All of the things you don’t tweet, and that gets tweeted?!”

“Why do you care?”
“I don’t understand the question.”

“Humans do not typically rehabilitate from autopsy.”

“Go ahead and press it, if it’ll help with our other problem. What is our other problem?”

“I hope he does air quotes with his claws.”

“He’s just going to death ray them all as soon as we leave the room. I’m okay with that.”

“That is not the same as the end of the world.”
“No, we said the world’s end.”

“So they are carrying parasites, then. They should be disposed of in a humane and almost heroic method.”

“‘You’re possessed by a demon, go blow yourself up.’ I don’t know if that’s going to work.”
“If the alternative is being disassembled…”

“We could send Guy!”

“To be honest, I’ve been trying to decide why Stanley would follow the group when they left Australia.”
“So you’re going to do it as a projectile?”

“It disturbs me that that’s your plan when I’m on the line, but not when it’s a zombie.”

“Four. If I know anything, I recognize hair growth.”

“Is that, like, a metaphor of mechanical repair you’re doing there? Like interpretive dance?”

Category(s): Call of Cthulhu 7th Edition
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