Call of Cthulhu, 3/15

“I have no problem making the moral decision against the party.”
“To be fair, you have no problem making the amoral decision against the party.”

“You want Darth Vader and super absorbent? You get two Darth Vader towels.”

“That sounded like a train.”
“No. What that was, was Hawver texting the person next him.”

“You’re heroic scale to somebody.”

“I like the new Guy because his name is ‘noogie.'”

“You haven’t been reading my notes? I post them online for everyone to see!”
“You post them online?”

“…And that the source of the polyps was not, in fact, the planet’s butthole. It was instead a jar, which was that-a-way.”

“There was a lot of that.”
“There was, in fact, a lot of that, which is why I’m perpetrating that on you.”

“Why would that happen?”
“Why would you go in the pit?”
“Why does Stanley have a best friend?”

“You lose 3 sanity to the flying polyp. Clearly, you’ve seen worse in your bootlegging days.”

“It’s like a beholder of mouths.”
“And knives.”

“How can it fly with one wing?”
“It bitch-slaps reality and does what it wants.”

“Oh god, you’re doing the thing!”
“I am. And you’re not looking.”

“I’m hoping for a dance-off.”
“Save me, Chris Pratt.”

“You’re going to try to dance-off with a polyp.”
“Hell yes. I’ve got legs!”

“Stanley, your initiative.”
“It’s 50.”
“I am aware.”
“He’s saying it’s your turn.”
“Oh!”

“It’s like you shot ballistic jelly.”
“Or just jelly.”
“That’s where the jam is!”

“So the distance on my gun – is that in feet or meters?”
“Inches.”

“I think you assumed we’d never hit.”

“I’m unconscious. I’m role-playing that.”

“That’s what the line under firearms is for.”
“Projectile vomit?”

“Ulrich, are you okay? Do you need anything?”
“Yes. A one-way ticket to anywhere but this godforsaken continent.”

“I’m glad I’m not in the pit.”
“Some of us are questioning our life choices here.”
“I’m pretty sure you started doing that four sessions ago.”

“See, I was worried that he was going to say there was a burning, tingly sensation.”

“How close is the box to the shaft?”
“That’s kind of a personal question.”

“I mean, I don’t hate sand with an Anakin Skywalker level of passion…”

“You didn’t have to roll to climb the rope. That was just for style.”

“Yeah, but you’re gonna kill yourself this early in the session?”
“He’s got a soccer game to watch.”

“Does… he know that’s a portal to somewhere else?”

“I don’t know if they have language, but they’ll have the legend of that one crazy-ass human…”

“If we are lacking a person, I will enact plan ‘Simple Lever.'”
“Using the person who refused to go…?”

“He’s probably not died yet.”
“He will when we close the hole.”

“The problem is, if you come back, I have to do the funerary rite backwards.”

“You’re absolutely sure you got it.”
“I’m pretty sure it got you.”

“You never know. It might be more potent.”
“Even more reason that I don’t want to light it!”

“There is a flash, a sound wave…”
“Oh. I just realized why we shouldn’t do this.”

“The jar was a metaphor. You’d think you people would have metaphors down, with all this tomorrow and yesterday…”

“And which way was the tentacle thingy with the bad place?”

“So they’re non-eucalyptus places?”

“There was no eucalyptus in that city!”
“That’s because Australia is only six inches deep.”

“To be fair, he had a constant screaming in his head. He just passed it on.”

“So he’s screaming in French? ‘Le aaaaaaaaaaargh!'”

“There’s too much sand and heat. We should go somewhere nicer. Like Egypt.”

“We can put some tarps on it…”
“Then it’ll have stealth capabilities!”

“No. There are no frozen custard machines in Australia in 1925.”

“How many radiators do we want?”

“Okay, small Devil’s advocate moment here. We left all those survivors down there…”
“I hoped you wouldn’t remember that.”

“His people made Guy much better!”
“They didn’t fix him.”
“I didn’t say they fixed him. I said they made him better.”

“I almost can’t fail.”
“Don’t say that!”
“Damn it, John.”

“So we’ve created a giant sinkhole.”

“There’s an equal amount of butthole sweat in either place.”

“A couple hours of later, you see buildings on the horizon.”
“Oh, please tell me they’re human buildings.”

“Damn it. We’ve returned to a scene.”

“Where did we come from?”
“Darwin.”

“The only thing we left in Darwin was our desire to leave.”

“That’s where you met me and my crew, none of which have made it out alive.”

“He’s better with bow and arrow than he is with actually effective weapons.”

“When we stop for a potty break, I need to talk to Hildebrand.”
“Okay…”
“Not while we’re peeing. I know there are rules about that kind of thing.”

“You’re going to go to all that trouble to avenge me?”

“I’m pretty sure at this point that what we’re hearing is Jason’s smart-ass comments.”

“I don’t remember any mountain driving.”
“Yeah, but you know what isn’t between Kunkudgery and Bungabilliewell? London. And yet we went through it on the way here.”

“So the question here is, do we all have the same monologue, or do we get individualized monologues?”
“Wah-wah, wah-wah-wah-wah.”

“One of the monkeys got the right bolt!”

“So the entire time, we’re being entertained by one quarter of a barbershop quartet.”

“Oh! With all the screaming, you could probably learn French.”

“It occasionally, during the height of the rain, drowns out Guy’s voice.”

Category(s): Call of Cthulhu 7th Edition
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