Call of Cthulhu, 8/2

“Wait, who was included in that pointing?”

“Wasn’t he number one on the suspect list?”

“Also, they are fresh out of archaeologists.”
“…”
“Did they hire you?”

“Pro bono archaeology?

“Or were you just standing around – ”
“Standing around?”
“Sitting around archaeologizing?”

“Prank calling the Black Pharaoh?”
“Is your pyramid running?”

“He addresses the envelope.”
“Hello, envelope!”

“Somebody write this down. It’s like a scavenger hunt: we need a mint plant, a single Colt 45 bullet…”
“It’s like you were reading my mind. I was about to say to get me ammo.”

“There are five and a half guards. One of them is injured.”
“There’s four and a half of us.”
“Ehhh…. depends on how you count.”

“You go out, look at him, and then go back in. Now he’s listening!”

“It was pre-blackened.”
“Now with more black!”

“I also know how the universe ends, but nobody asks me that.”

“‘How long is Indy’s shaft?” I don’t know if I’d type that into Google.”
“I would.”

“Um… I feel like I looked at everything before, and that got me into trouble.”

“It fit three of us.”
“That’s what she said.”
“No, I was up top.”
“…That’s not necessarily any better.”

“So you’re saying if we had kept the accountant out, he might be able to help here.”
“He was definitely doing non-Euclidean math.”

“Alien water. What are you drinking?”
“The tea makes it okay. I used quality tea leaves.”

“That’s our archaeologist.”
“You don’t remember his name, do you?”

“Somebody’s screaming. We should try to help them.”
“We should try to not be enslaved.”
“I think we should try to not be here.”

“I’ll scribble down what’s on the pyramids until things get too weird.”
“Uh… that sounds like an objective…”

“Are they assless?”
“All chaps are assless.”
“Otherwise, they’d be pants.”

“You all three look like you’ve been through a fire.”
“Uh… did we burn something else, or did we bring this back with us?”

“Do you remember what I said about not going in the hole?”
“No. Do you remember what you said about not going in the hole?”
“No, but clearly it’s bad!”

“That’s my goal: to not be on Twitter, but not go so far that it’s offensive.”

“I have a feeling that once Clive’s brain is ripped out by a Yithian communicator, his guards will become aggressive…”

“Are they not fit to be guards? Are they more… guard-eners…?”

“I think I skinned the body of one of the guys that sacrificed themselves…”
“There is nothing about that sentence that is good.”
“And then I carved the heiroglyphics into it with blood.”

“Let’s say it starts with a nine…”
“And ends with a fumble?”

“Is it obscured by a nipple? That’s the problem, isn’t it? The nipple is in the middle of your heiroglyphs.”

“So you carved your heiroglyphs into a dying man, then skinned him alive?”

“‘Summon the Black Pharaoh.'”
“Did… you… just finish the ritual?”

“You are a bad liar.”
“That is true. I’m an excellent liar in Yithian… Possibly Chinese…”
“Whatever languages you don’t speak, I’m a good liar in them.”

“Hm. I guess we know what that spell does.”

“Looks a little bit like charred skin. Or confetti.”

“Do you have an ‘Uninvite the Black Pharaoh’ spell?”

“No, we’re going the opposite direction – not call, not summon. Hang up on the Black Pharaoh?”
“Send to voicemail?”
“Mark as spam?”

“And casts a spell.”
“Boy, he waited until exactly the right moment to cast.”
“As soon as you left the room?”
“Yep.”

“Of course you can roll well when we’re trying to kill you.”

“Well, Clive just tried to squeeze my brains out of my ears, and if there’s one thing Ulrich appreciates, it’s his brains. So I’m going to return the favor.”
“Okay, and you are casting…?”
“I don’t have that spell. I’m going to use my hands.”

“I think our number two suspect just killed our number one suspect.”
“Ironically, we’re pretty sure our number one suspect killed our number two suspect.”

“Really, I think what we’re doing is instigating and letting them figure it out.”

“Yeah, I left before the death happened.”
“That was… not a poor choice.”

“I just realized that someone is going to have to explain to Auntie that everyone is dead. Not it.”
“I’ll do it! …What? She talks to dead people!”

“I’m going to tell Agatha adventure stories. Like the time I got locked in a trunk and my friends shot at me.”

“The guards seem uncomfortable with you riffling the corpse of their boss.”
“Ah. Your boss is dead, so you aren’t employed anymore. You may leave.”

Category(s): Call of Cthulhu 7th Edition
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