“This is going to do nothing for your hearing.”
\n“What?!”<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
“First rule of combat: kill the leaders.”
\n“No, the first rule of combat is ‘don’t die.'”<\/p>\n
“Most systems seem to go out of the way to punish you for standing up for no reason.”
\n“Have you seen me try to stand up?”<\/p>\n
“The lightest armor above nudity?”
\n“It’s called ‘cloth robe.'”
\n“Pants.”<\/p>\n
“Hope is not a plan!”
\n“Hope is what we’ve got, hippie.”<\/p>\n
“You’re not seriously going to run out there with 2 hit points…?”<\/p>\n
“If your plans involve the word ‘hope…'”<\/p>\n
“But he’s still moving?”
\n“Oh, no. There was one last, final twitch.”<\/p>\n
“You see a seeping wound in the shape of a halfling over there. It’s mostly halfling, but there’s a LOT of blood.”<\/p>\n
“But I also got her on the ground… where I wanted her. I mean… how much damage?”<\/p>\n
“Dammit. ‘Never leave a man behind.’ There’s something about that…”
\n“Never leave a living man behind?”<\/p>\n
“You take out his Achilles heel – ”
\n“I was aiming a little higher.”
\n“Okay, you take out his Achilles testicle…”<\/p>\n
“No, it’s a double-ended crescent [wrench]. Imperial, not metric.”
\n“Put a little thought into that?”
\n“Yep.”<\/p>\n
“Tl;dl? Too long, didn’t listen?”<\/p>\n
“They only had so much to work with – they couldn’t put the crenelations on!”<\/p>\n
“We can’t salt the earth that way. Not the whole earth.”
\n“Yeah, that’s a lot of salt.”<\/p>\n
“I wasn’t talking salt; I was thinking fire.”
\n“Good. Because I like salt, and that seems like a waste.”<\/p>\n
“Look, you have your explanation, and I have mine.”<\/p>\n
“That would be Doctor Orc-tapus, thank you.”<\/p>\n
“I need an explosive device.”
\n“I don’t know that I concur with that statement.”<\/p>\n
“In the meantime, you can carry this.”
\n“Mmm… no, that will interfere with my…”
\n“Mojo?”
\n“Waving my arms around in a panic.”<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
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