“I mean, where’s the colorful vomiting? Where’s the bleeding from the face?”
\n“The DMG.”<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
“Nah, I think I disrespected you before Gil Fishman.”<\/p>\n
“So they’re going to shoot us with a crossbow.”
\n“Except they have pikes.”
\n“So they’re going to shoot us with their pikes.”<\/p>\n
“They eye you.”
\n“Oh, not nearly as hard as I’m eyeing them.”<\/p>\n
“Don’t give the pies to unsuspecting villages.”
\n“I’m not! They will suspect long before I give them to them.”<\/p>\n
“Just… keep going. You’ll eventually come out the butt end of town and we’ll be done with you.”<\/p>\n
“Do they look like they’re related.”
\n“It’s kind of hard to tell.”
\n“You know, the donkey masks. They’re all the same breed of donkey…”<\/p>\n
“Is… fun… mandatory?”
\n“Yes.”
\n“Okay, well, I was going to have fun anyway. Just making sure…”<\/p>\n
“It’s reassuring, because he’s frightened, just like the rest of us. Or he’s a soulless monster.”<\/p>\n
“We’re gonna wake up one morning and they’re going to have left us both.”<\/p>\n
“You know, Shatter doesn’t just shatter things. It also does 3d8 damage, area of effect. So… I mean… you’re free – and you’re all dead.”<\/p>\n
“I have two different wines.”
\n“Mead?”
\n“Wine.”
\n“Beer?”
\n“Wine.”
\n“Beeeeer?”<\/p>\n
“No. No special action whining.”<\/p>\n
“I look out the door and see if there are any brawn villagers out there?”
\n“Why are you feeding the machine?”
\n“I’m trying to save the wimps!”<\/p>\n
“You should write that down. Are you taking notes?”
\n“Where? I have like eight pages on boots!”<\/p>\n
“I believe, in the Player’s Handbook – ”
\n“I’m tired of this elitist Player’s Handbook nonsense!”<\/p>\n
“Yes, an entertaining man with a monkey will help us greatly on our journey.”
\n“Yes! I punch him.”<\/p>\n
“We’re going to have to, like, ride into town half an hour before you and change the labels on things. This isn’t a tavern – it’s a library.”<\/p>\n
“I’m just saying there are two loci of chaos in this group, and they’re on that side of the table.”<\/p>\n
“And establish my boot-making empire. I didn’t say that last part.”
\n“Did you say that part about not saying it?”<\/p>\n
“You’ve been foretold, sir.”
\n“Well don’t tell him that! That’s a lot of pressure!”<\/p>\n
“Are there blue laws in Vallachi? Because if there are, we need to make sure that we get there before the winery closes.”<\/p>\n
“Oh! There’s a toymaker!”
\n“He’s caught up.”<\/p>\n
“He reaches up to his face and pulls a mask off.”
\n“Does he have another face under that one?”<\/p>\n
“She was a little old lady that turned into a hag.”
\n“He was an half-elf that turned into a half-elf.”<\/p>\n
“Does it turn into anything?”
\n“Yes. A bloodbath if it gets out.”<\/p>\n
“I don’t want to ruin this whole game over a merry-go-round.”
\n“Too late.”<\/p>\n
“Do you only get to know people in taverns, or can you do it in the street?”
\n“Usually in taverns, but exceptions can be made…”<\/p>\n
“I know they have special holes for people with demon hands to peek through.”
\n“How do you know that?”
\n“I know things!”<\/p>\n
“What would happen if something happened to Izek? Like, if someone befriended him too hard.”<\/p>\n
“As soon as you gave that to me, he took it from me and said it needed to be improved! Can you believe that?”
\n“I just wanted you to have something cumbersome to carry around.”<\/p>\n
“I appreciate this gift! I’m shocked and appalled that it’s not a sincere thing!”<\/p>\n
“I do listen to see if there are screaming people under the floor, because every church I’ve been into in this place has had screaming people under the floor.”
\n“You’ve been in one church!”
\n“Exactly!”<\/p>\n
“Someone has stolen the bones of the saint.”
\n“Would the ground-up bones of murdered children work as a substitute?”<\/p>\n
“Would Yenska have any reason to steal them? Did he owe anyone a skeleton?”<\/p>\n
“Get to know him. Gently. But not too gently, because we don’t want to have to have him point at the doll.”<\/p>\n
“They’re someone’s bones. I would have put them in the ground.”
\n“That’s exactly what I’m talking about!”<\/p>\n
“Because of course there’s another -vich. This Vich is a vicar…”<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
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