{"id":1063,"date":"2019-01-09T19:02:22","date_gmt":"2019-01-10T01:02:22","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/blog.emeraldsilver.com\/gamequotes\/?p=1063"},"modified":"2019-01-09T19:02:51","modified_gmt":"2019-01-10T01:02:51","slug":"5e-ravenloft-1-2","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/blog.emeraldsilver.com\/gamequotes\/2019\/01\/09\/5e-ravenloft-1-2\/","title":{"rendered":"5E Ravenloft, 1\/2"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p>&#8220;Was that you?&#8221;<br>\n&#8220;Even if I called it, it still wasn&#8217;t me. That&#8217;s Thor, my friend.&#8221;<br>\n&#8220;Was that Thor?&#8221;<br>\n&#8220;Probably.&#8221;<br>\n&#8220;Was that your Thor?&#8221;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<!--more-->\n\n\n\n<p>&#8220;Why did you touch it? Now it&#8217;s on you! If their goal was to get their black squooge on you\u2026&#8221;<br>\n&#8220;Are you actually complaining about that? Are you just jealous you didn&#8217;t do it yourself?&#8221;<br>\n&#8220;Maybe?&#8221;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>&#8220;Also, you will probably also hear that, considering you&#8217;re the closest thing the party has to a barbarian.&#8221;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>&#8220;I&#8217;d touch it, and I&#8217;d hear, &#8216;Get someone else to touch the rock!'&#8221;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>&#8220;Can we leave the spear under a cairn? Because that seems irresponsible.&#8221;<br>\n&#8220;I both like and hate your train of thought there.&#8221;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>&#8220;It&#8217;s a magic drawing!&#8221;<br>\n&#8220;I don&#8217;t think you understand how magic works.&#8221;<br>\n&#8220;I don&#8217;t think you understand how drawing works.&#8221;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>&#8220;The thing is, if it was an evil spear that took him over, he would absolutely tell you that it was a spear of ethics and morality.&#8221;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>&#8220;Oh, you&#8217;ve made the land off-tune. It was a high C\u2026&#8221;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>&#8220;You have more hit points than I do; quit complaining.&#8221;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>&#8220;Yeah, that&#8217;s how spellcasters work: we get hit once and get really tired of it.&#8221;<br>&#8220;Ow! So that&#8217;s what pain feels like. I didn&#8217;t sign up for this!&#8221;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>&#8220;The bottom of the statue also starts burning.&#8221;<br>\n&#8220;Interesting artistic choice there.&#8221;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>&#8220;If you don&#8217;t take it, then it&#8217;s not schtullen!&#8221;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>&#8220;He walks behind a tree and disappears.&#8221;<br>\n&#8220;He\u2026 leaves?&#8221;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>&#8220;We summoned the gem by throwing the druids on the pyre?!&#8221;<br>\n&#8220;We&#8217;ve had dumber ideas, to be fair.&#8221;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>&#8220;I have three jar-shaped dumb things. Which one?&#8221;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>&#8220;The relationship you fixed by being awkward.&#8221;<br>\n&#8220;You&#8217;re going to have to be more specific.&#8221;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>&#8220;I am a likable person! It says so right here &#8211; oh, god. I&#8217;m Hawvering.&#8221;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>&#8220;I checked twice! I don&#8217;t have a shovel. I have a seven-headed doll, but I don&#8217;t have a shovel.&#8221;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>&#8220;Wait, what are we doing that&#8217;s polite?&#8221;<br>\n&#8220;Helping someone out of the grave.&#8221;<br>\n&#8220;No, that&#8217;s &#8211; when I put someone in the grave, I mean them to stay there.&#8221;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>&#8220;Is this the stone?&#8221;<br>\n&#8220;Yes!&#8221;<br>\n&#8220;Good, because we brought a whole box of rocks.&#8221;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>&#8220;He&#8217;s a terrible moral compass. He just wants to make hats.&#8221;<br>\n&#8220;Shoes.&#8221;<br>\n&#8220;Boots.&#8221;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>&#8220;Which they would have taken it with them.&#8221;<br>\n&#8220;The church?&#8221;<br>\n&#8220;What was in it.&#8221;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>&#8220;Did the paupers leave boats?&#8221;<br>\n&#8220;Yes, but they&#8217;re rotted and half-sunken into the river.&#8221;<br>\n&#8220;Did they paupers leave doors?&#8221;<br>\n&#8220;Yes, but they&#8217;re rotted and half-sunken into the river\u2026&#8221;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>&#8220;You got something against humans?&#8221;<br>\n&#8220;No, I&#8217;m just pointing out that those are human skulls and the rest of us are safe.&#8221;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>&#8220;The text is so not prepared for us\u2026&#8221;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>&#8220;So you see, Ravenloft isn&#8217;t even a vaguely subtle take on every horror trope ever. This one in particular is just Dracula.&#8221;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>&#8220;So don&#8217;t have a daughter that Strahd wants to marry. I&#8217;m doing well on that so far.&#8221;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>&#8220;Was that you?&#8221; &#8220;Even if I called it, it still wasn&#8217;t me. That&#8217;s Thor, my friend.&#8221; &#8220;Was&#8230;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[30],"tags":[31],"class_list":["post-1063","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-dungeons-and-dragons-5th-edition","tag-ravenloft","wpcat-30-id"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/blog.emeraldsilver.com\/gamequotes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1063","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/blog.emeraldsilver.com\/gamequotes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/blog.emeraldsilver.com\/gamequotes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blog.emeraldsilver.com\/gamequotes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blog.emeraldsilver.com\/gamequotes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1063"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/blog.emeraldsilver.com\/gamequotes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1063\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1065,"href":"https:\/\/blog.emeraldsilver.com\/gamequotes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1063\/revisions\/1065"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/blog.emeraldsilver.com\/gamequotes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1063"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blog.emeraldsilver.com\/gamequotes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1063"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blog.emeraldsilver.com\/gamequotes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1063"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}