{"id":1073,"date":"2019-02-13T22:00:33","date_gmt":"2019-02-14T04:00:33","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/blog.emeraldsilver.com\/gamequotes\/?p=1073"},"modified":"2019-02-23T23:23:01","modified_gmt":"2019-02-24T05:23:01","slug":"5e-ravenloft-2-13","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/blog.emeraldsilver.com\/gamequotes\/2019\/02\/13\/5e-ravenloft-2-13\/","title":{"rendered":"5E Ravenloft, 2\/13"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p>&#8220;The best part is, it makes interrogating people we&#8217;ve accidentally killed much easier!&#8221;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<!--more-->\n\n\n\n<p>&#8220;You don&#8217;t want to kill people in this game.&#8221;<br>\n&#8220;I know. But it&#8217;s us.&#8221;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>&#8220;I&#8217;ll also be swapping powers, but at a much slower rate.&#8221;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>&#8220;Thor protects you.&#8221;<br>\n&#8220;As long as Thor doesn&#8217;t expect me to be on the front lines for this.&#8221;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>&#8220;Don&#8217;t worry &#8211; there are lingering effects as well!&#8221;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>&#8220;Do you speak bird?&#8221;<br>\n&#8220;I assume it speaks numbers.&#8221;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>&#8220;I&#8217;m glad I dug that out of the bottom of the bag.&#8221;<br>\n&#8220;Yeah, I&#8217;m glad we had that complete waste of time.&#8221;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>&#8220;I was super proud of myself; now I&#8217;m being bolt-shamed. I have lightning envy.&#8221;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>&#8220;You know, it&#8217;s important not to be effective.&#8221;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>&#8220;I don&#8217;t think she can hit quite that hard.&#8221;<br>\n&#8220;Not with that attitude.&#8221;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>&#8220;Thor can suck a fucking nut.&#8221;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>&#8220;I hate to tell you all, but I cast lightning bolt from my loins.&#8221;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>&#8220;Did anyone else notice when he did that? His list is so minuscule.&#8221;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>&#8220;I think you&#8217;re combining two different roofs.&#8221;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>&#8220;You guys should be ashamed &#8211; that creature was thousands of years alone.&#8221;<br>\n&#8220;Well, it should have left us the fuck alone.&#8221;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>&#8220;Apparently it had never attacked five level 8 fierce warriors.&#8221;<br>\n&#8220;Uh &#8211; four level 8 fierce warriors and one level 8 dancer.&#8221;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>&#8220;Would someone like to remind me what&#8217;s in my notes, please?&#8221;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>&#8220;But you don&#8217;t hear peeing and running away.&#8221;<br>\n&#8220;Well, I&#8217;m peeing\u2026&#8221;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>&#8220;I&#8217;m half-demon! We only pee once a month.&#8221;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>&#8220;Look, I wasn&#8217;t here for the tarot reading. I just heard that evil was born here, and I think this looks like a terrible maternity ward!&#8221;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>&#8220;If this was a Call of Cthulhu pit, I probably wouldn&#8217;t look into the pit. But this is a Ravenloft pit, so I&#8217;m looking into the pit.&#8221;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>&#8220;Well, that&#8217;s 2 spells I&#8217;ve done nothing with.&#8221;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>&#8220;Is it a robe of blending? I put it on high.&#8221;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>&#8220;That&#8217;s right! 20 ft amber statue and a wool robe, and we can make sparks like nobody&#8217;s business!&#8221;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>&#8220;This is the amber temple!&#8221;<br>\n&#8220;Did you just notice?!&#8221;<br>\n&#8220;No. I just thought it was the right time.&#8221;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>&#8220;So it&#8217;s like a classroom?&#8221;<br>\n&#8220;This is where evil learns.&#8221;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>&#8220;I&#8217;m trying not to attack everyone we meet, so I&#8217;m offering a beet.&#8221;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>&#8220;Did your master have a blue robe, like this?&#8221;<br>\n&#8220;\u2026No.&#8221;<br>\n&#8220;Good.  Then we haven&#8217;t found your master.&#8221;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>&#8220;Did he have pretty, pretty horns like mine?&#8221;<br>\n&#8220;No. He was scary.&#8221;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>&#8220;Have you been here days or weeks or months? How many rats do you think you&#8217;ve eaten?&#8221;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>&#8220;All right, where are we going?&#8221;<br>\n&#8220;We don&#8217;t know.&#8221;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>&#8220;How big are the rats? You know, that&#8217;s going to change how long he&#8217;s been here.&#8221;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>&#8220;I put on the robes and play dead.&#8221;<br>\n&#8220;You&#8217;re a little fleshy for that.&#8221;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>&#8220;This is where evil died. This is not where evil was born; this is where evil died.&#8221;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>&#8220;No, this is where evil came and killed the younglings.&#8221;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>&#8220;You know what I&#8217;m going to do? I&#8217;m going to accept the GM&#8217;s offer and we&#8217;re going to move on.&#8221;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>&#8220;How are you alive?&#8221;<br>\n&#8220;No one wants to kill someone this sexy.&#8221;<br>\n&#8220;Says the man with no teeth.&#8221;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>&#8220;And I now have on my character sheet &#8216;teeth of Tharsis.'&#8221;<br>\n&#8220;And now I have on MY character sheet 3 extra silver pieces.&#8221;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>&#8220;They&#8217;re all dressed in furs &#8211; obviously, the direwolf is wearing its own fur.&#8221;<br>\n&#8220;Well, it could have a little sweater under its fur.&#8221;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>&#8220;Witchcraft?&#8221;<br>\n&#8220;No\u2026 his teeth fell out, he&#8217;s carrying them. It&#8217;s a thing.&#8221;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>&#8220;The best part is, it makes interrogating people we&#8217;ve accidentally killed much easier!&#8221;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[30],"tags":[31],"class_list":["post-1073","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-dungeons-and-dragons-5th-edition","tag-ravenloft","wpcat-30-id"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/blog.emeraldsilver.com\/gamequotes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1073","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/blog.emeraldsilver.com\/gamequotes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/blog.emeraldsilver.com\/gamequotes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blog.emeraldsilver.com\/gamequotes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blog.emeraldsilver.com\/gamequotes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1073"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/blog.emeraldsilver.com\/gamequotes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1073\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1082,"href":"https:\/\/blog.emeraldsilver.com\/gamequotes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1073\/revisions\/1082"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/blog.emeraldsilver.com\/gamequotes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1073"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blog.emeraldsilver.com\/gamequotes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1073"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blog.emeraldsilver.com\/gamequotes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1073"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}