{"id":1140,"date":"2019-07-24T21:59:27","date_gmt":"2019-07-25T02:59:27","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/blog.emeraldsilver.com\/gamequotes\/?p=1140"},"modified":"2019-07-24T21:59:27","modified_gmt":"2019-07-25T02:59:27","slug":"5e-dd-7-24","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/blog.emeraldsilver.com\/gamequotes\/2019\/07\/24\/5e-dd-7-24\/","title":{"rendered":"5E D&#038;D, 7\/24"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p>&#8220;Can I borrow this?&#8221;<br>\n&#8220;Yep. It&#8217;s not mine, but you can borrow it.&#8221;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<!--more-->\n\n\n\n<p>&#8220;Who fell down?&#8221;<br>\n&#8220;I mean, to be fair, I got pimp-slapped by a god.&#8221;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>&#8220;It&#8217;s the same thing that will give you advantage when the time comes to make gas saves.&#8221;<br>\n&#8220;Sorry in advance.&#8221;<br>\n&#8220;Do you have gas?!&#8221;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>&#8220;So dragons, volcano, angry god, Splitboulder\u2026 Does anyone else have any enemies we need to know about?&#8221;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>&#8220;I think the question is more how quickly I can disembowel the ones stopping me from getting into the cave.&#8221;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>&#8220;If I&#8217;m alone, I can move stealthily at a normal pace. So I&#8217;m 8 feet to the left of everyone else.&#8221;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>&#8220;You can melt it down if you throw it into the lava and then pull it out really quickly.&#8221;<br>\n&#8220;You just described meat.&#8221;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>&#8220;I&#8217;m incredibly nimble for my species, which means I&#8217;m just as nimble as everyone else.&#8221;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>&#8220;Your people don&#8217;t live epochs &#8211; that&#8217;s her people.&#8221;<br>\n&#8220;I can make your family line live on into the next epoch!&#8221;<br>\n&#8220;As long as they continue to have the Favored Enemy\u2026&#8221;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>&#8220;What&#8217;s your initiative?&#8221;<br>\n&#8220;One.&#8221;<br>\n&#8220;Kade, what&#8217;s yours?&#8221;<br>\n&#8220;Three.&#8221;<br>\n&#8220;And he out-rolled me.&#8221;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>&#8220;You have a class feature that gives you a second attack! It&#8217;s call Talfin!&#8221;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>&#8220;&#8216;Before things went bad&#8217; was a long, long time ago.&#8221;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>&#8220;Remember, you don&#8217;t always have to have Darryl touch you &#8211; you can also touch yourself.&#8221;<br>\n&#8220;But I spent all my actions touching this rax.&#8221;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>&#8220;I have a dilemma.&#8221;<br>\n&#8220;You should get that looked at.&#8221;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>&#8220;It is going after Palad, because there&#8217;s nothing more fun than going after a naked halfling.&#8221;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>&#8220;On the bright side, I&#8217;ve established that I need to roll 3 d20s to hit.&#8221;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>&#8220;Ander! That&#8217;s the one I call &#8216;deli meat&#8217;!&#8221;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>&#8220;Hey, I&#8217;m not gonna be the first one to make a new character!&#8221;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>&#8220;No, &#8217;cause inside the mouth &#8211; the roof of the mouth ain&#8217;t 22 AC.&#8221;<br>\n&#8220;Yeah, but you have to get through the cone of fire first!&#8221;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>&#8220;I&#8217;m seldom this bloodthirsty!&#8221;<br>\n&#8220;Bryan, your enthusiasm is delightful. I&#8217;m already mourning your character, but you&#8217;re delightful.&#8221;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>&#8220;And this is how there are no halflings in this epoch.&#8221;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>&#8220;He&#8217;s got to do the math. That&#8217;s a bucketload of d10s &#8211; &#8220;<br>\n&#8220;I actually don&#8217;t have enough d10s.&#8221;<br>\n&#8220;Oh, shit.&#8221;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>&#8220;You don&#8217;t get to die, but you do get to suffer for a while.&#8221;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>&#8220;I feel like the only way we can stop the halfling death threats is to get Hawver to make a character.&#8221;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>&#8220;So what you&#8217;re saying is that he&#8217;s only slightly worse than halflings.&#8221;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>&#8220;You didn&#8217;t notice me salivating, did you? Because you guys smell really good.&#8221;<br>\n&#8220;That&#8217;s her line.&#8221;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>&#8220;Pete&#8217;s complicit in this.&#8221;<br>\n&#8220;Pete&#8217;s equally curious.&#8221;<br>\n&#8220;I was actually considering eating one myself, so this is much better.&#8221;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>&#8220;If the pteradon can vomit boulders, I&#8217;m pretty sure the pteradon would be lying on the ground.&#8221;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>&#8220;Wait, wait, are we in a narrow, confined space?  Let&#8217;s do the explosion.&#8221;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>&#8220;Maybe we should be less dramatic when we arrive. Maybe not bash raxes into oblivion and hit them with lightning.&#8221;<br>\n&#8220;I don&#8217;t think you understand our idiom.&#8221;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>&#8220;I love average.  Bell curve, nothin&#8217; &#8211; it&#8217;s a straight friggin&#8217; line.&#8221;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>&#8220;How have we already progressed to redneck?  We don&#8217;t have written language.&#8221;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>&#8220;I&#8217;m not afraid.&#8221;<br>\n&#8220;You&#8217;re also not very smart.&#8221;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>&#8220;I didn&#8217;t invent lying, right?  That already existed?&#8221;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>&#8220;Two weeks pass\u2026 with this inane conversation still going\u2026&#8221;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>&#8220;How many D&amp;D games are we going to have with you where cannibalism is involved?&#8221;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>&#8220;Yeah, you guys took on 2 raxes.&#8221;<br>\n&#8220;Two point one.&#8221;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>&#8220;Can I borrow this?&#8221; &#8220;Yep. It&#8217;s not mine, but you can borrow it.&#8221;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[30],"tags":[34],"class_list":["post-1140","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-dungeons-and-dragons-5th-edition","tag-stone-age-legends","wpcat-30-id"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/blog.emeraldsilver.com\/gamequotes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1140","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/blog.emeraldsilver.com\/gamequotes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/blog.emeraldsilver.com\/gamequotes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blog.emeraldsilver.com\/gamequotes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blog.emeraldsilver.com\/gamequotes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1140"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/blog.emeraldsilver.com\/gamequotes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1140\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1141,"href":"https:\/\/blog.emeraldsilver.com\/gamequotes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1140\/revisions\/1141"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/blog.emeraldsilver.com\/gamequotes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1140"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blog.emeraldsilver.com\/gamequotes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1140"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blog.emeraldsilver.com\/gamequotes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1140"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}