{"id":1151,"date":"2019-09-04T22:02:41","date_gmt":"2019-09-05T03:02:41","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/blog.emeraldsilver.com\/gamequotes\/?p=1151"},"modified":"2019-09-04T22:02:48","modified_gmt":"2019-09-05T03:02:48","slug":"5e-dd-2","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/blog.emeraldsilver.com\/gamequotes\/2019\/09\/04\/5e-dd-2\/","title":{"rendered":"5E D&#038;D, 9\/4"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p>&#8220;Bryan, we have agreed not to eat your suitor until your bloodline is secured.&#8221;<br>\n&#8220;\u2026What?&#8221;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<!--more-->\n\n\n\n<p>&#8220;What&#8217;s with the orcs and insulting gods? Is that just what we do?&#8221;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>&#8220;If things acted in a worthy manner, I wouldn&#8217;t need to insult them.&#8221;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>&#8220;I like how we all have very different memories of last session.&#8221;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>&#8220;Technically, if I make you doubt me, I have power over you &#8211; and that makes me a god.&#8221;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>&#8220;To be fair, I&#8217;ve never tried to argue with the moon.&#8221;<br>\n&#8220;Don&#8217;t.  She&#8217;s very angry.&#8221;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>&#8220;I&#8217;m Orthodox Grayshame; I eat people. None of this Reform Greyshame.&#8221;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>&#8220;These two are not allowed to open doors into bodies of water anymore.&#8221;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>&#8220;&#8216;Cause somebody was throwing rocks over the edge to open up the thing.&#8221;<br>\n&#8220;Hey, I have done more than anyone else to take care of this dam.&#8221;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>&#8220;So we build a giant wooden horse &#8211; &#8220;<br>\n&#8220;Fish.&#8221;<br>\n&#8220;So we build a giant wooden fish.&#8221;<br>\n&#8220;So, a boat.&#8221;<br>\n&#8220;And we get inside the giant wooden fish &#8211; &#8220;<br>\n&#8220;Like you do with a boat.&#8221;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>&#8220;Try and come up with a brilliant plan that doesn&#8217;t get a bunch of people killed.&#8221;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>&#8220;Oh, our plans don&#8217;t have to be brilliant; we&#8217;re not going to follow them anyway.&#8221;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>&#8220;These are made out of butt-rope? I&#8217;m out.&#8221;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>&#8220;It&#8217;s plant butt-rope.&#8221;<br>\n&#8220;I&#8217;m not sure if that&#8217;s better or worse. Plants don&#8217;t have butts.&#8221;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>&#8220;We grow many of our plants above our homes.&#8221;<br>\n&#8220;Your homes are holes in the ground.&#8221;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>&#8220;I&#8217;ve invented geometry. Done!&#8221;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>&#8220;I&#8217;m down with being shot across the lake into the temple.&#8221;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>&#8220;I&#8217;m not sure foreshortening has been invented yet.&#8221;<br>\n&#8220;It has now!&#8221;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>&#8220;Skipping rocks and seeing in the dark are the first two tenets of my godhood.&#8221;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>&#8220;That would have been a good roll.&#8221;<br>\n&#8220;And I wasted it on frivolous things.&#8221;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>&#8220;No, so what it is, is they have illusionist mages and soybeans. So everything&#8217;s made out of tofu.&#8221;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>&#8220;But now they&#8217;re all, &#8216;YAAAY, you can do it!'&#8221;<br>\n&#8220;Because they&#8217;ve never seen our plans.&#8221;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>&#8220;In other worlds, it&#8217;s &#8216;a wizard did it.&#8217; In this world, it&#8217;s going to be &#8216;Palad did it.'&#8221;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>&#8220;Fish aren&#8217;t really known for construction.&#8221;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>&#8220;I&#8217;m attacking whatever&#8217;s close and offensive.&#8221;<br>\n&#8220;Wait wait wait wait wait.&#8221;<br>\n&#8220;Heyyyyy.&#8221;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>&#8220;It used to be I can&#8217;t see because of the dark.  Now I can&#8217;t see because of the light.&#8221;<br>\n&#8220;You are kind of in the middle of a fireworks show.&#8221;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>&#8220;But one of them dived towards the center of the impact, and that one looks the least happy of them all.&#8221;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>&#8220;Did you think I was going to forget that? We spent way too much time talking about the sun&#8217;s butthole.&#8221;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>&#8220;You told me to look out for the serpent!&#8221;<br>\n&#8220;No, that was a joke. Because you can&#8217;t see.&#8221;<br>\n&#8220;\u2026Oh.&#8221;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>&#8220;So you&#8217;re really just a graffiti artist.&#8221;<br>\n&#8220;I am the first!&#8221;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>&#8220;I don&#8217;t have the ability to have an idea! This was my idea!&#8221;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>&#8220;We&#8217;ve invented a ferry!&#8221;<br>\n&#8220;They&#8217;ve been here a long time.&#8221;<br>\n&#8220;Haven&#8217;t you heard of the Feywild?&#8221;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>&#8220;Well, I&#8217;m not going to put yours into it.&#8221;<br>\n&#8220;You&#8217;re damned right you&#8217;re not.&#8221;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>&#8220;We&#8217;re gonna regret this later.&#8221;<br>\n&#8220;We are.  But not this game &#8211; we&#8217;ll regret it next game, when someone digs up the lost temple.&#8221;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>&#8220;It&#8217;s like recycling.&#8221;<br>\n&#8220;It is! It&#8217;s environmentally friendly evil.&#8221;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>&#8220;Bryan, we have agreed not to eat your suitor until your bloodline is secured.&#8221; &#8220;\u2026What?&#8221;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[30],"tags":[34],"class_list":["post-1151","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-dungeons-and-dragons-5th-edition","tag-stone-age-legends","wpcat-30-id"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/blog.emeraldsilver.com\/gamequotes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1151","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/blog.emeraldsilver.com\/gamequotes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/blog.emeraldsilver.com\/gamequotes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blog.emeraldsilver.com\/gamequotes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blog.emeraldsilver.com\/gamequotes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1151"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/blog.emeraldsilver.com\/gamequotes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1151\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1153,"href":"https:\/\/blog.emeraldsilver.com\/gamequotes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1151\/revisions\/1153"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/blog.emeraldsilver.com\/gamequotes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1151"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blog.emeraldsilver.com\/gamequotes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1151"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blog.emeraldsilver.com\/gamequotes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1151"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}