“Aren’t there games where rolling low is better?”
\n“Yes, but they suck and they shouldn’t play it.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n
“I’m gonna make custom dice that have a custom icon on the 3.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n
“And I don’t recall where Rick was.”
\n“\u2026My notes are not particularly helpful in that regard\u2026?”
\n“Rick doesn’t know where Rick is.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n
“Not since the time I was apparently unconscious for 24 hours while I robbed a mortuary!”<\/p>\n\n\n\n
“You can’t summon a demon at 8 am!”
\n“Sure you can – it’s just the bitching hour.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n
“Even Rick isn’t tasteless enough to listen to Guns n’ Roses.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n
“Are you between Rogers right now?”<\/p>\n\n\n\n
“You keep explaining this to me, and I just want to know: how high are you right now?”<\/p>\n\n\n\n
“I’m not trying to make a good impression – just a good enough impression.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n
“And getting the empty vodka bottle of holy water\u2026 because I’m classy.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n
“You know, there’s a bunch of people who gather together every week who really believe\u2026 kind of.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n
“I will admit that yesterday, I didn’t know what you were going to find out\u2026 in fact, five minutes ago I didn’t know what you were going to find out. But by god, you’re going to find something out!”<\/p>\n\n\n\n
“It’s kind of a landslide sound.”
\n“You mean like Stevie Nicks?”
\n“No, like ground moving.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n
“I don’t know – did anyone try looking for Roger out of the corner of their eye? That seems to work for people.”
\n“Is Roger a sofa?!”<\/p>\n\n\n\n
“Flamethrower, baseball bat, easter basket, easter basket, fists registered as a deadly weapon, and\u2026?”
\n“Grey Goose bottle that is no longer a Grey Goose bottle.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n
“You guys are armed exactly the way I’d expected.”
\n“I don’t know if that’s good or bad\u2026”<\/p>\n\n\n\n
“I see a lot of\u2026 things\u2026”<\/p>\n\n\n\n
“And then the smell comes back. The smell you can taste. The smell you can almost see.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n
“Like Ghostbusters? You say his name and it reacts?”
\n“What movie did you see under that name?!”<\/p>\n\n\n\n
“The smell isn’t that bad.”
\n“The smell is that bad.”
\n“No it’s not.”
\n“You just need to drink more.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n
“Notice they don’t trust Rick with the flamethrower.”
\n“We don’t trust Rick with the dowsing rods.”
\n“I don’t trust Rick with a spoon.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n
“Well, you probably ought to be careful with the holy Drano, then.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n
“Rick, where are you, while he’s\u2026 poking the slime with a stick\u2026?”<\/p>\n\n\n\n
“I mean, it’s just a freezer – how hard can it be?”<\/p>\n\n\n\n
“I think we just moved the house, and I really want to go outside right now.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n
“Get one of the easter eggs in its mouth, I’m going to put the nozzle of the flamethrower in its mouth, and then I’m going to try to power-wash its asshole.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n
“My life is just full of good choices! I’m between bad choices right now.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n
“No, they had napalm bunnies and thermite eggs.”
\n“I don’t know how I lost track of that\u2026”<\/p>\n\n\n\n
“So I’m at a -3 for attack and defense, and fighting a monster that may or may not be on fire.”
\n“Oh, it’s partially on fire.”
\n“Okay, good. So I have a good understanding of the situation\u2026”<\/p>\n\n\n\n
“I know how much you love negatives to your rolls, so while you’re in the cocoon, you are at a -4 to attack.”
\n“So I’m at a -7\u2026”<\/p>\n\n\n\n
“I would avoid it.”
\n“It’s on fire and flying away.”
\n“Did you make it worse?”
\n“Probably?”<\/p>\n\n\n\n
“Did it occur to you that Roger is in Hell?”
\n“It occurred to the priest!”
\n“Yeah, but that’s your default answer to everything!”<\/p>\n\n\n\n
“Stop saying ‘come along’ and ‘anus’ in the same sentence!”<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
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