“God damn it! That shit’s in my graveyard!”<\/p>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n
“The only odd thing about it – aside from that she should be in your graveyard – is that buses don’t stop there. But she looks like she’s waiting for a bus.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n
“We should count the dog.”
\n“Wait, wait, if we count the dog, do we have to count the fish?”<\/p>\n\n\n\n
“I think the fish are more the vector than the victim.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n
“And we are not stealing a bus – “
\n“We could borrow a bus.”
\n” – Because I got in trouble last time.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n
“Two guys sitting next to a monster truck, staring at two people sitting at a bus stop. It’s an average everyday scene.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n
“Your alcohol is not like anyone else’s.”
\n“It has grain!”<\/p>\n\n\n\n
“Does Melissa count as a current affair?”
\n“That’s not current.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n
“I’m still betting on the embalming and stiching. Anybody want in?”
\n“Sure, I’ll bet $5 on it. And can you loan me $5\u2026?”<\/p>\n\n\n\n
“The girl died of shellfish. I think it’s tacky to call her a shell person.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n
“To be fair, that’s what I do most days at work: stand there and suck.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n
“See, he’s not even sure who he’s burying anymore.”
\n“We have a guy that buries them\u2026”<\/p>\n\n\n\n
“I was about to say – I stand across the street for like 45 minutes, but I look inconspicuous for all of five of it.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n
“It’s not, like, the weirdest place in town.”
\n“To be fair, I think we come from the weirdest place in town.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n
“Don’t tell me no! I can count to seven! I have that many fingers.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n
“Shotgun!”
\n“That’s a good point. I go get the shotgun out of the Monster.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n
“They’ve been staring at me, and I was trying to be friendly, and nobody appreciated my Strawberry Chiffon Pie recipe, so you should go in.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n
“I’ll go into the men’s.”
\n“Oh, good. I was hoping you’d choose that one. Otherwise, things would get weird.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n
“It’s the AA of the dead!”<\/p>\n\n\n\n
“How long do you stand outside there, staring in, he asks, fondling his dice?”<\/p>\n\n\n\n
“UA?”
\n“Undead Anonymous.”
\n“But we know who some of them are.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n
“So what I’m hearing here is that Roger’s parents may be necromancers.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n
“Noah, what’s different about the truck today?”
\n“It was a Dodge before?”
\n“And now it’s a\u2026?”
\n“Chevy.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n
“I think it’s trying to be\u2026 in conspicuous?”
\n“So you’re saying the logo is a mustache?”<\/p>\n\n\n\n
“Wait, is the car back from the dead? Is this six?”<\/p>\n\n\n\n
“Do you have a specific mouth-poking stick\u2026?”
\n“No comment.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n
“I’m having the churros tres leches.”
\n“It in fact starts the fire and puts the fire out.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n
“Wait, are you a hallucination?”
\n“Jury’s still out on that, buddy.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n
“Mark. You lost both of them in a one stall bathroom?”
\n“I guess?”<\/p>\n\n\n\n
“I check for a drain that might have disappeared.”
\n“Roll\u2026 Perception plus seeing?”<\/p>\n\n\n\n
“Okay, so you go back in the restroom, and we’ll draw straws or something to see who holds the door closed – “
\n“Oh, I’ll hold it shut.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n
“Meat log emergency! Meat log emergency!”<\/p>\n\n\n\n
“Hey, I’m between bathrooms right now – you wouldn’t believe this.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n
“I hand the Father the come-along cable, push him into the bathroom, and close the door.”
\n“Hey, what – “<\/p>\n\n\n\n
“So we’ve gotta push people one after another into the bathroom.”
\n“Oooh, that sounds like a party game!”<\/p>\n\n\n\n
“Look, we don’t need to be handing out Fifty Shades of Grain to people.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n
“I think the burrito shack has distracted us from the psychic-sucking zombies.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n
“Wait, why are we volunteering me?”<\/p>\n\n\n\n
“I’m going to the women’s restroom.”
\n“To watch, or because you need to go?”
\n“Just\u2026 because reasons.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n
“Why is the UYAC like a Walmart?”
\n“I don’t know. Why IS the UYAC like a Walmart?”
\n“I don’t know!”<\/p>\n\n\n\n
“It is the youth center. Drawing a gutted fish on the wall would just be weird.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n
“I think what we’ve established here is that men are from Walmart and women are from UYAC.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n
“Ohhh. Yeah, it makes sense. It was the YMCA, but they lost the M, so men can’t come here!”<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
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