“The best football movie of all times… is a baseball movie.”<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
“My marble is full of mouth today.”<\/p>\n
“Is that why you go for the corn dog before the woman? The woman won’t get cold, but the corn dog will?”<\/p>\n
“Yeah, that corn dog is still warm. That woman’s been dead inside for years.”<\/p>\n
“Are you telling me the plot is on the other coast? We overshot it by THAT much?”<\/p>\n
“What we have to do… is… figure out what we have to do…”<\/p>\n
“Where did we get the other one? Darryl’s just clobbering Chinamen.”<\/p>\n
“When no more feet go missing, we’ll know we’ve got the right one.”<\/p>\n
“It was the hard sell of the soft serve.”<\/p>\n
“Two scenes later, I decide I should finally be paying attention…”
\n“Bastard.”<\/p>\n
“Why did you just SMELL the board game?”<\/p>\n
“I don’t want to smell Silver Surfer!”<\/p>\n
“Here. Take this interpreter.” *stage whisper* “I don’t trust her!”<\/p>\n
“What do those pieces smell like?”
\n“Yeah, man, give me a whiff! I need more cosmic power!”<\/p>\n
“Yes, this is just like Thanksgiving. Just replace the turkey with a severed foot.”<\/p>\n
“… The navigation-type thingy. I don’t know! Make with the SCIENCE!”<\/p>\n
“…Our games are NOT like other people’s games…”<\/p>\n
“Turns out that Jack Strange’s interpreter is, in fact, daughter of the foot trasher.”<\/p>\n
“It’s got a giant fist on the front! We’re just going to drive it through!”<\/p>\n
“…Subtlety is the way to go.”
\n*uproarious laughter*
\n“Subtlety?!”<\/p>\n
“Our group is all about the ass. Yammy wanted some guy to turn around and fist him.”
\n“No, that was the horse.”
\n“WHAT?!”<\/p>\n
*much talk about horses and fists* “Can we go back to the corn dogs?”<\/p>\n
“Ugh. I’ll never use that term again. ‘Let’s hoof it!'”
\n“This is why we had to leave Canada.”<\/p>\n
“I’m saying this is not necessarily the morals we want to instill in the youth of America.”<\/p>\n
“If you’re ever in Canada, honey, don’t fist any horses.”<\/p>\n
“I got distracted trying to figure out why the cockroaches have candles…”<\/p>\n
“This is why you’re not the director of the show. Because you’d be all ‘there’s not enough horse fisting in here’!”<\/p>\n
“And the game was going well… until we got derailed by horse-fisting…”<\/p>\n
“…This is why we can’t have nice things.”<\/p>\n
“Well, fortunately, we’ve gotten you out of the way so you can’t steal yourself.”<\/p>\n
“We’re doing the sister thing again, aren’t we.”<\/p>\n
“If this was some sort of dime-store novel, I might believe that. But this is the cold, hard truth of Canada!”<\/p>\n
“Well, you’ll have to be come a Canadian citizen.”
\n“…Balls. Not worth it.”<\/p>\n
“Did you see the sights? Anything worth a laugh?”
\n“Bart naked?”<\/p>\n
“WOULD SOMEONE ANSWER THE DAMNED PHONE?!”
\n“Kacey… there is no phone…”<\/p>\n
“Wait – and he was one of the ones sending telegrams by Western Union?”
\n“Yes…”
\n“So he was a telegraph Pole?”<\/p>\n
“His intent is to create an army and take over Canada.”
\n“He can have it. Let’s go home.”<\/p>\n
“Trust me, Canadian jail is far better than Nebraska.”<\/p>\n
“Your dog may be able to parachute, but… ok, I have no problem with it.”<\/p>\n
“When did you become me?! First, you recommend killing the hostage, and now you’re recommending turning yourself in!”<\/p>\n
“The OTHER sister does the walking!”
\n“So she’s a hooker?”<\/p>\n
“Are you suggesting we ‘Tropic Thunder’ it?”<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
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