“Sorry, ‘sinister longboat’…”
\n
\n“…and aggressive hinges”<\/p>\n
“Could be ass water. We don’t know.”<\/p>\n
“Charon… who was also a girl I dated in college… she was also a boatman on the river Styx…”<\/p>\n
“I’m concerned that my Fire Sauce is stalking me…”<\/p>\n
“Kacey, will you touch me?”
\n“In all the wrong ways?”
\n“I don’t care.”<\/p>\n
“Right, so I banish it with my fists.”<\/p>\n
“…And the king is dumb, that’s why it’s a kingdom.”
\n“What?”
\n“Just seeing if you were listening.”<\/p>\n
“One, I am sickened.\u00a0 Two, I am sickened.”
\n“This is the part of the evening where I pretend to not know you guys, right?”<\/p>\n
“His tentacles are filled with hit points.”<\/p>\n
“Human maracas!”<\/p>\n
“I’m like, ‘she’s Kiera Knightly’s cheaper, more attractive replacement.'”<\/p>\n
“Well, when one brick loves another brick, and the one brick gets down on its knee…”<\/p>\n
“Much like a two-channel helicopter, I only ever move forward… and spin out of control.”<\/p>\n
“You can’t put her in two bags of holding!\u00a0 They’re not a Halloween costume!”<\/p>\n
“Lots of things can breathe water.\u00a0 Very few of them can breathe concrete.”<\/p>\n
“…respect evil librarians.”
\n“Hell, yeah.\u00a0 ‘Ook, motherfucker.'”<\/p>\n
“I wanna see it do a stealth-shamble.”<\/p>\n
“I could set it on fire, but I’m not sure that would help us in any way.”
\n“Well, it would fill the room with thick, vicious black smoke…”<\/p>\n
“Rhinoceros, go into the tar!\u00a0 That was hilarious!\u00a0 Now on to the real plan!”<\/p>\n
“The litch is watching us, going, ‘their solution was to… create a highway?'”<\/p>\n
“It’s an undead.\u00a0 It could get back up!”
\n“It’s a re-dead!\u00a0 It’s not going to get back up!”<\/p>\n
“You mean ‘reminiscent’?”
\n“Yes.\u00a0 Instead of ‘reticent’.”<\/p>\n
“You know, if I was an undead litch and someone came up and stuck a finger in me, I would be paralyzed, I’d be so surprised.”<\/p>\n
“I offer him… accommodations in my sack.”<\/p>\n
“I’m going to put your eye out.\u00a0 And I’m going to pull your brain out your eye-hole.”<\/p>\n
“What kind of narcissist do you have to be to carry around your phylactery in your head?”<\/p>\n
“Where has he been saving this big damage?\u00a0 I just thought he was a crappy guy with a bow…”<\/p>\n
“It’s the Head of Vecna!\u00a0 Quick, cut off your own head and put it on!”<\/p>\n
“Oh!\u00a0 Oh god!\u00a0 Why did you crit me in the face?”<\/p>\n
“I punch the king once, just to get good use out of the Stoneskin.”<\/p>\n
“I’m sorry, Your Majesty, but Stockholm syndrome?\u00a0 Not a good foundation for a marriage.”<\/p>\n
“I’m not strapping this to the back of a pig.”<\/p>\n
“Well, they need protection, and a roving band of fists is a lot of protection.”<\/p>\n
“Oh, there we go.\u00a0 Have the blind guy shoot the stone with a blunt arrow.”<\/p>\n
“Aim at my voice and six inches higher.\u00a0 Eight.\u00a0 Eight inches higher.”<\/p>\n
“I was going to say, ‘bring out the army of lawnmowers,’ but…”<\/p>\n
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