“…So really, I was born in Rhode Island and three neighboring states.”
\n
\n“Bryan, is it ok if I just don’t roll the dice and assume everything is a 2?”
\n“Uh… a 2?\u00a0 Sure…”
\n“I figure I’ll come out ahead.”<\/p>\n
“The Fisting of Pittaxe?”
\n“Nope.\u00a0 No fisting.\u00a0 Yamarino isn’t here.”<\/p>\n
“Remember, remember, the Fisting of November?”<\/p>\n
“He’s going to check to see if they’re redeemable first, but only for cash and prizes.”<\/p>\n
“Yes, we have one of the fastidious party members with us.”
\n“I’m sorry, I didn’t bring my formal wetsuit.”<\/p>\n
“Think like an assassin…”
\n“You ARE the assassin.”<\/p>\n
“‘You done fucked up.\u00a0 Also, the lake has a turtle problem.'”<\/p>\n
“Oooh, it could also say, ‘Are you familiar with defenestration?'”
\n“‘I’d like to speak with you about defenestration and defenestration accessories…'”<\/p>\n
“Like fighting in cement.”
\n“…I’m glad you said ‘nt’…”<\/p>\n
“This is the worst room I’ve ever been in!”
\n“So… sticky…”<\/p>\n
“You know, that wasn’t really funny, but it was odd, and I have to share it so that everyone understands the trauma that made me who I am.”<\/p>\n
“You’re customer of the month on the wall!”
\n“For two years running!”<\/p>\n
“I don’t tip – I cure.\u00a0 I’m doing a community service.”<\/p>\n
“He doesn’t fuck fair – he fucks foul.\u00a0 That’s why he’s so dirty.”<\/p>\n
“Yeah, the stabby people are having to talk.\u00a0 Give us a little leeway.”<\/p>\n
“That’s good.\u00a0 I mean, that’s a good grudge to have.”<\/p>\n
“But as king of Speerspitze, I see every citizen as my children.\u00a0 And half of them are…”<\/p>\n
“It had plate armor, but not a liver.”
\n“Well, this is why he died…”<\/p>\n
“He is pretty mad…”
\n“Then I will refer to him henceforth as the Mad King Irrivetti.”<\/p>\n
“Will you tell us about the trap?\u00a0 Before the king talks some more?”<\/p>\n
“I kissed the picture.”
\n“Ugh.\u00a0 Do you know how unsanitary that is?”<\/p>\n
“You like to eat rotted flesh?\u00a0 *I* like to eat rotted flesh!”<\/p>\n
“I don’t understand.\u00a0 I wait in the antechamber and don’t touch the walls.”<\/p>\n
“And most of all, I don’t lick the walls.”
\n“So you… Uh.\u00a0 Battered like beaten, not batter like batter…”<\/p>\n
“As your king, I demand that you lick the wall!”
\n“No.”<\/p>\n
“It will be written into Speerspitzan law, you must lick the wall!”<\/p>\n
“As soon as they start talking about licking the walls, you’re gone.”<\/p>\n
“It occurs to me, Bryan, that the reason he doesn’t ask her to lick the wall is that he actually wants to know how it tastes.”<\/p>\n
“Is there hustle as well as bustle?”
\n“It only says bustle.\u00a0 I assume there is also hustle, however…”<\/p>\n
“Would that be one of the doors?\u00a0 So there would be 99 left?\u00a0 We can take it down and pass it around…”<\/p>\n
“This is Feng, slayer of the inanimate.”<\/p>\n
“Wait, an a-hole is going to appear?\u00a0 Irrivetti must be coming.”<\/p>\n
“He said sanctum, not rectum.”
\n“Wrecked ’em?\u00a0 You just about killed him.”<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
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