“Daredevil has an increasing problem with the modern world.\u00a0 ‘Oh, I can read ink… oh… wait… what is this?\u00a0 Is this an iPad?\u00a0 Screw you.'”
\n
\n“I like Pinhead.\u00a0 You never run out of needles, and you punish the intellectual elite.”<\/p>\n
“I’m sorry if my terminology offended you.\u00a0 House elemental sounded good to me.”<\/p>\n
“Can you imagine what’s happened to the economy?”
\n“Well, I haven’t been embezzeling…”<\/p>\n
“…I’ll grab someone in a position of authority…”
\n“That’d be me!”
\n“…Namely Sarah…”<\/p>\n
“No, if I go somewhere and people follow me because I’m doing something awesome, that’s leading!”<\/p>\n
“Seriously, we’re going to set the water on fire again?”<\/p>\n
“I don’t suppose ‘resist bitch’ is covered.”
\n“It’s not really an element…”<\/p>\n
“Well, now you can keep it.”
\n“The bubonic plague?”<\/p>\n
“When you roll a 3, you let the horse look.”<\/p>\n
“It’s a Linorm.”
\n“Don’t you rub that on…”
\n“No, that’s Linorm-mint.\u00a0 It’s made from dead Linorm.”<\/p>\n
“You really did drink the stupid potion, didn’t you.”<\/p>\n
“Its other head does not count as flanking with you.”
\n“Unless we charm it!”<\/p>\n
“Well, that’s why he’s confused!\u00a0 He has no pants!”<\/p>\n
“Uh.\u00a0 You probably want to include chips with that.”
\n“No!\u00a0 Lick it!\u00a0 Lick it!\u00a0 Get a spoon!\u00a0 Get a fucking straw!”<\/p>\n
“…Go ahead.\u00a0 You had a turn that had nothing to do with salsa.”<\/p>\n
“Bryan, think this through.\u00a0 When you describe what happens, you need to use hand motions.”<\/p>\n
“Harry Dresden can.\u00a0 Why can’t you?”<\/p>\n
“Hitch points?”
\n“Yes.\u00a0 It’s like hit points, only with a ‘ch’ at the end.”<\/p>\n
“That’s what this cyclopean litch said when we showed up.”
\n“This is ridiculously stupid, who rides around in a bag?”<\/p>\n
“I have knowledge: geography.\u00a0 Are elves a place?”<\/p>\n
“You can laugh, but I go last.”
\n“What did you get?”
\n“I go last.”
\n“What did you roll?”
\n“I go last.”<\/p>\n
“No, after the whole I didn’t do anything but I made it worse for everyone incident.”
\n“You’re going to have to be more specific.”<\/p>\n
“I swear to god, Bryan, I’ve known you for like a decade, and it wasn’t until this game that I knew all of your accents.”
\n“All three of them?”<\/p>\n
“I can’t even read.\u00a0 I’m just looking at the pictures and assuming the story and making up numbers.”<\/p>\n
“I’m going to declare ‘asshole bane’.”
\n*turns to king* “Run.”<\/p>\n
“There are no level 1 bitches in the First World.”<\/p>\n
“Apparently I’ve been grappled for a while.”
\n“Now maybe you can hit things!”
\n“…No…”<\/p>\n
“Do they have a Will save to not spontaneously combust?”<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
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