“Can we just… duct tape the vorpal sword to the end of Kevin’s lance?”
\n
\n“It is, however, not currently a jabber-fly.\u00a0 It’s a jabber-walk.”<\/p>\n
“I use knowledge: engineering to engineer an anti-jabberywocky.”<\/p>\n
“Not as smart as a man, not as dumb as a ho…”
\n“Were you going to say horse?”
\n“I thought he said whore.”
\n“…I was going to say horse, and then I realized that this is entirely the wrong room…”<\/p>\n
“It has no discernible anatomy.\u00a0 The jabberwock is made of cheese.”<\/p>\n
“It’s SPANISH.”
\n“When it’s kind of crappy, it’s Scottish.”<\/p>\n
“I can now do nothing, exceptionally fast!”<\/p>\n
“You notice that only 315 of the 330 points seem to hurt it…”<\/p>\n
“Well, the Hulk won.\u00a0 Because the Sub-Mariner is an ass.”<\/p>\n
“The GM is going to stand over here and sulk for a while.”<\/p>\n
“I had a response to you, and I have forgotten what it was.”<\/p>\n
“Welcome to Adventurer’s Anonymous.\u00a0 My name is Char, and I need multiple attacks…”<\/p>\n
“Retcon!\u00a0 Nightcrawler had a glider.”<\/p>\n
“I’m a man on a mission.”
\n“I know.\u00a0 And I remember how badly we got mauled the last time that happened.”<\/p>\n
“Well, Skrulls are great for writing on.\u00a0 You can just peel a layer of skin off.”<\/p>\n
“The Chronicles of Speerspitze, Chapter one: The End.”<\/p>\n
“The floor of this room deticks… depicts…”
\n“De-ticks?”
\n“Well, that’s great, because I’m sure we picked up a few on the way…”<\/p>\n
“You lose negative levels?\u00a0 So you gain levels?”<\/p>\n
“It moved.\u00a0 It’s so funky fresh…”
\n“I can’t believe you just used that phraseology.”<\/p>\n
“‘Angel, we freed you!’ ‘Yeah, it fucking hurt, you ass.'”<\/p>\n
At the end of a horrible digression:
\n“Henceforth, NO ONE is allowed to play Mr. Fantastic or any stretchy hero at all, whatsoever.”<\/p>\n
“Talking owlbears, and you’re arguing about red maggots?”<\/p>\n
“That’s how faeries fight each other: with bad clothing.”<\/p>\n
“Oh.\u00a0 Then the worms are kind of singed.”<\/p>\n
“That makes me uncomfortable with my manhood.”
\n“No, that makes everyone else uncomfortable with your manhood.”<\/p>\n
“As I am immune to fear, I am also immune to molestation.”<\/p>\n
“Congratulations, your Majesty.\u00a0 Your bedroom detector is working.”<\/p>\n
“The bare wooden door of this attic space…”
\n“OMG, the floor is covered in bears!!”<\/p>\n
“Well, we didn’t kill the dancing bear, so the wooden bears will beat us…”<\/p>\n
“Is it impassibly choked by vines, or is it inconveniently choked by vines?”<\/p>\n
“So, what you’re saying here is that Feng’s monastery is a Jackie Chan movie?”
\n“…I had assumed that from the beginning.”<\/p>\n
“You may not use the halfling as a shield.\u00a0 You are not proficient in halfling.”<\/p>\n
“And this is why we don’t record games.”<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
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