“Who said you’re going to be killing someone?”
\n“I won’t be.\u00a0 I don’t have a weapon.”
\n
\n“Your fault for decking sideways!”<\/p>\n
“I have to roll initiative for a hug?\u00a0 Man, this is a rough game.”<\/p>\n
“Wait, you’re made of STEAK?!”
\n“Get the knives!”<\/p>\n
“I’m sorry… nuts started moving around and I got scared… so I just HIT ’em.”<\/p>\n
“If he goes unconscious, I would like to pee on him.”<\/p>\n
“Roll your d4 [for Charisma bonus], for what it’s worth, you ugly beast.”
\n“Four!\u00a0 Sexy beast.”<\/p>\n
“There we go!\u00a0 It’s a bag of coconut holding!”
\n“Done!\u00a0 Life goal.”<\/p>\n
“To be fair, though, only one of us pooped out a giant shark-dog.”<\/p>\n
“What was it? ‘Candy-gram.'”
\n“That’s what your shark-dog sounds like?\u00a0 He runs around the deck saying, ‘Candy-gram’?”<\/p>\n
“This is like every LucasArts game in the 80s!”<\/p>\n
“I need to take Perform: Oratory.”
\n“The ladies like it.”<\/p>\n
“I’m just glad, with that motion I made, that we were all adult enough to think spyglass.”<\/p>\n
“He has a hard time hearing because he’s blinded by the light.”<\/p>\n
“Why would you tell anyone that? ‘If we run into any undead, I can master them.'”<\/p>\n
“The fish-man slithers up, carrying the goblin, with – well, I’d say wide eyes, but how can you tell?”<\/p>\n
“Also, those of us without…”
\n“Hit points?”
\n“Low-light vision…”<\/p>\n
“Am I allowed to complete my minute?”
\n“Unless anyone has anything stupid to do.”<\/p>\n
“I will make HER large, because she is a braver man than most.”<\/p>\n
“So proud of you, Jon, now you’re just like me.”
\n“What?”
\n“Not paying attention.”<\/p>\n
“Armor class 16, sir.\u00a0 Even the enfeebled rat hates your singing.”<\/p>\n
“Maybe I want to be on the rats’ team.”<\/p>\n
“Wonder-miss powers activate!”<\/p>\n
“Bard tank for the win!”<\/p>\n
“Hold on, I just moved.\u00a0 I can’t swab yet.”<\/p>\n
“Swab-swab-swab, bleed on the deck.”<\/p>\n
“I am both gratified and horrified now, sir.”<\/p>\n
“I’m very good with the orc ladies, because I dance so premium.”<\/p>\n
“And anything to drink that is not rum.”
\n“I have hold full of rat water, but it is not premium, I think.”<\/p>\n
“What do you get for shirking?”
\n“A stealth check or in trouble?”<\/p>\n
“I don’t need her.\u00a0 I can fertilize the eggs now.\u00a0 Just drop them on the ground…”<\/p>\n
“You want some caviar?”
\n“Give me two minutes and the naturalist’s guide to fish species.”<\/p>\n
“He drinks it…”
\n“And his liver falls out of his body.”<\/p>\n
“Besmara has not seen fit to let me know what Shark-Dog might be romantically interested in.”<\/p>\n
“I failed every single attack in the combat so I could arm-wrestle the crap out of these people.”<\/p>\n
“As long as he doesn’t do anything stupid, he’ll survive that.”
\n“Sounds like my girlfriend…”<\/p>\n
“I’m pretty much not taking dating advice from that side of the table – sorry, Jon.”<\/p>\n
“Your hammock or mine?\u00a0 No, wait, I still live in the basement with my mother.”
\n“No, your sister.”<\/p>\n
“He has not been peed on.”
\n“No, he has not been peed on yet.”
\n“He will be, at some point in this campaign…”<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
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\n“I won’t be. I don’t have a weapon.”<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[8],"tags":[15],"class_list":["post-285","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-pathfinder","tag-skull-shackles","wpcat-8-id"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/blog.emeraldsilver.com\/gamequotes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/285","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/blog.emeraldsilver.com\/gamequotes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/blog.emeraldsilver.com\/gamequotes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blog.emeraldsilver.com\/gamequotes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blog.emeraldsilver.com\/gamequotes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=285"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/blog.emeraldsilver.com\/gamequotes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/285\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":375,"href":"https:\/\/blog.emeraldsilver.com\/gamequotes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/285\/revisions\/375"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/blog.emeraldsilver.com\/gamequotes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=285"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blog.emeraldsilver.com\/gamequotes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=285"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blog.emeraldsilver.com\/gamequotes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=285"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}