“This afternoon, I will try to embed my accent back in my mustache.”
\n
\n“Okay, apparently my brain has shut down but my mouth is still going.”
\n“So you’ve got Yamarino disease?”<\/p>\n
“That’s not sex with a fish man.\u00a0 That’s just sex with a burning hot box.”<\/p>\n
“We’ll all pee in the box, if it will help.”<\/p>\n
“I let you down.\u00a0 I was too busy laughing at Darryl’s poopus.”<\/p>\n
“At least we’re all the same kind of slow…”<\/p>\n
“Because I cannot roll as bad as I did today.”
\n“Um…”<\/p>\n
“Does he have 4 turtles he’s taught ninjitsu to?”
\n“No, he’s not part of a Splinter group…”<\/p>\n
“Is that the whore?\u00a0 That’s the one that beat me up.\u00a0 I’m not doing that…”<\/p>\n
“Twelve.\u00a0 We’re somewhere between poop jokes and penis jokes.”
\n“Those are both great kinds of jokes.”<\/p>\n
“A team and B team both have a fish man?\u00a0 Dammit!”<\/p>\n
“It’s like the Harry Potter movies. It’s horrible screeching until you stick it in the water. Then it’s beautiful singing. Or just horrible screeching.”<\/p>\n
“This is… the chronicle of continuing to be effective over here.”<\/p>\n
“We’ve moved up in the world from being killed by giant rats to being killed by giant crabs.”<\/p>\n
“I’m fine.”
\n“You’re unconscious.”
\n“I can’t drown!”
\n“Oh, that’s right…”<\/p>\n
“Oh.\u00a0 It won’t let go once it grabs onto something.”
\n“I’m going to just throw you at each of them…”<\/p>\n
“I’m going to cast ‘Soft Mittens’ on the razorclaws…”<\/p>\n
“This is the game of the dying fish…”<\/p>\n
“Fuck that, man.\u00a0 Mine’s covered in piercings and tattoos.”<\/p>\n
“Are they very willful crabs?”
\n“They are.\u00a0 Except for this one, because that number is ridiculous.”<\/p>\n
“I’m fifteen feet away with a box in my hands!\u00a0 LET ME DO SOMETHING!!”<\/p>\n
“If I died from the death and not the crabs, I would probably quit the game, because that would mean I rolled less than a 10 on 8 consecutive die rolls.<\/p>\n
“Mr. Fantasticrab!\u00a0 I’ve got my next character concept…!”<\/p>\n
“I’m going to take the flaccid meat and start swimming to the surface.”
\n“You!\u00a0 Flaccid meat!\u00a0 Get up in the crow’s nest!”<\/p>\n
“I’m going to put the head penis back on the mini…”<\/p>\n
“I brought you flaccid fish man. I say we put it in box and take it back to the ship.”<\/p>\n
“It’s not hard to lure them away.\u00a0 If you’re conscious.”<\/p>\n
“Oh my god!\u00a0 Full health!\u00a0 I’ve never seen you!\u00a0 I feel glorious!”<\/p>\n
“I’m a fighter.\u00a0 I mean, I die like a rogue, but…”<\/p>\n
“Gilbert R. Fishman, almost died from a spear, but he survived. Almost died from a box, but he survived. Almost died from a crab…”<\/p>\n
“Let’s stop the relentless assault of Crabby McCrabberson.”<\/p>\n
“If I get assaulted by a dire sea turtle, I would let it kill me.”<\/p>\n
“Saucy Charlie Swift, what are you going to do?”
\n“Heal the fish man… again…”<\/p>\n
“I do what’s appropriate on a pirate ship.”
\n“I grab my nuts, spit…”<\/p>\n
“That’s the name of our ship!\u00a0 ‘The Bunghole? Really?'”<\/p>\n
“…While I’m down here romancing the stunties.”
\n“The salts.”
\n“No, the stunties…”
\n(half the crew is gnomes & halflings)<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
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