“Bryan, is your office private…?\u00a0 And how salty are your nuts?”
\n“…I need an adult.”<\/p>\n
“He said he was going to probe Tarkus’s mind, and frankly, I’m still horrified by the discussion of nuts in my office…”<\/p>\n
“I just looked this up. The mizzen is the fr…”
\n“Back.”
\n“You’re close… opposite end of the ship, but you’re close!”<\/p>\n
“I didn’t know you could do origami with meat.”<\/p>\n
“I’m actually very influential – even when I’m not rum.”<\/p>\n
“I assume everything I do is in song.”
\n“‘That’s okay\/walk it off, biiiitch.'”<\/p>\n
“…I would like to punch you in the tit.”
\n“Port or starboard?”<\/p>\n
“I take my 5 foot move and punch her in the tit.”
\n“They do not believe you’re actually going to do it, so you get a surprise round.”<\/p>\n
“If they don’t have a reflex save, we don’t need them.”<\/p>\n
“Sobriety elemental??”<\/p>\n
“Not only is he a really bad pirate, he has Sam’s Private Time every morning.”<\/p>\n
“I salute my opponent with the honorary fish-man spit to the eye…”<\/p>\n
“We’re going to neck-wrestle, and the penalty is guillotines.”<\/p>\n
“You have two shorter ropes!\u00a0 You can’t have half a rope!”<\/p>\n
“No, I’m just kind of worried about the wrestling hooker’s choke hold.”<\/p>\n
“You can take my rigging, but you can never have half a rooooope!”<\/p>\n
“If they bake you, can we bread you first?”<\/p>\n
“I’m only 10 feet away. Hey, Blyds, I’ve been drinking! *breathe*”
\n“You, sir, are a bastard.”
\n(Mr. Blyds cannot hold his grog…)<\/p>\n
“I’m thinking!\u00a0 I’m wounded, more deeply than that spear, by your remarks.”<\/p>\n
“Everybody assumes that just because you’re a fish-man, you don’t like good food.”
\n“I’ve seen you gobble fish guts out of the cauldrons.”<\/p>\n
“Real work is happening; he is NOWHERE near.”<\/p>\n
“And you’re not even on my list, fish-guy.”
\n“Is he listed on the menu?”<\/p>\n
“He’s got one hit point left! Use the t-shirt cannon!”<\/p>\n
“I’m sorry I couldn’t save you; I only have half a rope!”
\n“Fuck you and your half a rope!”<\/p>\n
“You are dangling from a man who is dangling from a shark who is dangling from a rope that is dangling from the side of a ship.”<\/p>\n
“I’m not gonna die.”
\n“He says, with seven points of damage and bleeding from a bullet hole.”<\/p>\n
“Just attach a little homing collar, so you always know which side of the ship he’s on.”<\/p>\n
“You’re so positive, even when your face is melting.”<\/p>\n
“His eyes are bleeding, his face is black…”
\n“Jesus. Did you face-fuck a cheese grater?”<\/p>\n
“‘Why is your face black?’ ‘Why did the goblin attack every officer on the ship?’ ‘Point taken.'”<\/p>\n
“I’m sure his gun fires non-lethal bullets.”
\n“They have little boxing gloves at the end of the bullets.”<\/p>\n
“It did not go off as planned, but it went off as expected.”<\/p>\n
“Hey, so you know – defiance isn’t a good idea.”
\n“There’s levels of defiance…”<\/p>\n
“Like I said, it went as well as most of my plans go… only one PC died this time.”<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
“Bryan, is your office private…? And how salty are your nuts?”
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