“We are all keepers of the sacred flame of bullshit.”
\n
\n“‘Iiii’ve got another dollar!’ That’s what my summoning round is.”<\/p>\n
“Pretty sure one of my abilities later on is to create anthropomorphic people.”
\n“…Say that again, Darryl?”<\/p>\n
“Sorry, I was only half paying attention.”
\n“That’s okay, I was only half talking.”<\/p>\n
“What?\u00a0 You didn’t get to see the eyebrows from this side.\u00a0 Unless they wrinkled all the way over.”<\/p>\n
“Okay… what else?\u00a0 Help me out here, rum!”<\/p>\n
“Hey, my wife is a human!”<\/p>\n
“He’s the seeing-eye dog for the shark-dog.”<\/p>\n
“You seem… seaworthy.\u00a0 I was going to say worldly, but that seemed wrong.”<\/p>\n
“Well, I am a gnome.”
\n“I’m not going to hold it against you.”<\/p>\n
“It’s more reined-in than the goblin.”
\n“And it doesn’t pretend to be part of the crew.”<\/p>\n
“The good captain is worth four men.”
\n“Five, if you talk to him to his face.\u00a0 He has one just for glaring at you.”<\/p>\n
“All right… she is unfriendly at this point.”
\n“Hey!\u00a0 I got somewhere.”<\/p>\n
“…And then find out she’s his sister.\u00a0 Then you get the Skywalker bonus.”
\n“Ugh!\u00a0 That’s not a bonus!”<\/p>\n
“It might be a Pavlovian thing: punch the half-elf, get a crab!”<\/p>\n
[speaking to player whose character wants to seduce everyone]
\n“You want to be riddled with syphilis, don’t you?”<\/p>\n
“I’m not sure what I’m more disturbed by – the fact that you assume we all have toothbrushes, or the fact that you just approached a mutiny like a business decision.”<\/p>\n
“Let’s all hug it out.”
\n“I’m not hugging you, lady syphilis.”
\n“I’m not hugging that.\u00a0 Even I have standards.”<\/p>\n
“Well, with no ship and no crew, there’s no need to mutiny…”<\/p>\n
“I don’t use disparaging names.\u00a0 That’s why I haven’t called Sam ‘Half-Rope’ yet.”<\/p>\n
“Gaffer.\u00a0 Giffer.\u00a0 Gaffer is a job, Giffer is a gnome.”<\/p>\n
“Okay, I try to make a cart.\u00a0 You see what happened when I tried to make a dog, though.”<\/p>\n
“You know what helps with that?\u00a0 Get your character in a fight and have him die, and then he’s not in relationships any more.”<\/p>\n
“Half the party at this point.\u00a0 Two and a half,” points at the half-elf.<\/p>\n
“Like I said, reminds me of my first night in Port Peril – lots of tongue and none of it good.”<\/p>\n
“Um, I’m going to set the frog in front of me on puree…”<\/p>\n
“Hunter knows you’re not a snack!”
\n“I’m an officer now; he may think something different now.”
\n“Okay, Hunter knows you’re not a snack, SIR.”<\/p>\n
“I’m going to change my name from Blyds to Bled Out…” (it’s pronounced ‘Bleeds’)<\/p>\n
“Great.\u00a0 Now you have Ghoul Fever AND Syphilis.”<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
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