“It’s stripper pizza.”
\n“Don’t care, had pizza.”
\n
\n“We have been to unclean lands to get to those dolphins.\u00a0 UNCLEAAAAN…”<\/p>\n
“THAT’s what you look like?”
\n“My sister’s hot!”
\n“Skywalker! Skywalker!”<\/p>\n
“…tan-genital.”
\n“I like how we’re making up words now.”
\n“It’s less making up words than sticking ‘tan’ in front of things that shouldn’t have it.”<\/p>\n
“Pick up the stick, you fucker!”
\n“Yup, that’s Baldur’s Gate.”<\/p>\n
“But if you’re not writing a Choose Your Own Adventure book, why are you writing anyway?”<\/p>\n
“If you had said ‘the other disgusting fish-man,’ I would remember. But there’s no other fish-man. And that’s why this game is racist.”<\/p>\n
“Nobody has ever done it shark-doggy style.”<\/p>\n
“Our doom is Nair?”<\/p>\n
“Would that be Knowledge: Language?”
\n“Linguisitics?”<\/p>\n
“I am a regular whore.\u00a0 But only because I eat lots of fiber.”<\/p>\n
“You don’t take supplies from undead whores.”
\n“Why? It’s not like they need them…”<\/p>\n
“Zero is a bonus, because it’s not a penalty.”<\/p>\n
“That’s it, the natural 20 is gone!\u00a0 We’re fucked for the night, people!”<\/p>\n
“I’m not sure what a lubber is, but the way they talked about them on the ship, I’m terrified…”<\/p>\n
“Did he just throw a stick at a corpse?”
\n“As a matter of fact, he did, cubby!”<\/p>\n
“‘I’m going to kill you and take your stuff, but I’m going to feel bad about it later.’ That’s just called being Catholic.”<\/p>\n
“‘I don’t travel on land without my shark!’ What?!”
\n“That’s why I gave him legs!”<\/p>\n
“…before or after your fiance found out about the baby…?”
\n“The baby I bought?”
\n“You bought a baby?!”
\n“Well, these things happen.”<\/p>\n
“But to what point do I need to use a hero point?”
\n“At the point where everything fucked up!”<\/p>\n
“Okay, I can fix this.\u00a0 I can fix this, I think.”
\n“That’s actually more terrifying…”<\/p>\n
“We’re up to our old tricks again!”
\n“Except I’m the fire man this time!”
\n“Doesn’t matter, some hostages gonna die!”<\/p>\n
“Except we ran away.\u00a0 They got XP for us.”<\/p>\n
“‘Half the island was burning!’ ‘Yeah, there were some gnats…'”<\/p>\n
“I’ll cast a light spell on his dangly bits.”
\n“I thought he already had a light spell on his dangly bits.”
\n“Why are we talking about his dangly bits?”<\/p>\n
“I’m inspired because when we defeat them, he stops singing!”<\/p>\n
“…you just made my butt pucker.”
\n“I don’t know what kind of spells you’re casting over there…”<\/p>\n
“…Chellish navy uniform.”
\n“So he was a sailor… who played the cello…”<\/p>\n
“Yes, Kevin?\u00a0 What were you going to say before we became horrible people?”<\/p>\n
“I’m going to do something exceptionally disgusting.”
\n“Oh, good, you’re so reassuring…”<\/p>\n
[After one PC vomits up spiders as the effect of a spell…]
\n“Why do you keep those in there?”<\/p>\n
“Don’t listen to him.\u00a0 He’s only the GM.\u00a0 He only has the book.”<\/p>\n
“If I pick this up and shake it and it’s suddenly filled with coke, will you try phasing through the wall?”
\n“Hell fucking yes.”<\/p>\n
“He’s going to report back, ‘Aaaaaaaaahhhh, motherfuckers!\u00a0 I have no constitution!'”<\/p>\n
“You see Gill climbing down, and then, all of a sudden, he’s got a full leather coat made of stirge wings…”<\/p>\n
“I just remembered.\u00a0 I don’t want to be here any more.\u00a0 That’s it.\u00a0 That’s where I needed to go.”<\/p>\n
“…threw up in my probiscis.”
\n“I just threw up into the body where it sucked [the blood] out of.”<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
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