“If you enslave your hard drive, I WILL liberate it.”
\n“No, he’ll buy 8 others and make them work…”
\n
\n“Do what you feel like you need to do.\u00a0 I already hate you…”<\/p>\n
“There’s… umm… 5 feet of open water between you and the enemy.”
\n[two at once] “JUMP IT!”<\/p>\n
“Can I do a sort of jumping charge?”
\n“Sure, but you have to do this first.”\u00a0 [slaps elbow]<\/p>\n
“Fish aren’t known for their superb jumping abilities.”<\/p>\n
“Hit them with the flat of the ballista.”<\/p>\n
“What if you cut a rope in half and fired it at them?”
\n“You can’t fire half a rope!”
\n“No, no, then you can fire it twice!”
\n“It will be like a logic bomb – they’ll be so confused!”<\/p>\n
“Captain, I don’t want to disobey a direct order, but I can’t turn the cannon sideways to fire it.”<\/p>\n
“You’re a part of our crew now.\u00a0 You must wear your pants lower!”<\/p>\n
“Apparently selling meat from people has become a valid option for us…”
\n“I will not sell someone into slavery, but meat is meat.”<\/p>\n
“Actually, the reason they couldn’t destroy Yavin 4 first is that they put a tarp over it.”<\/p>\n
“You’re the captain!\u00a0 You don’t have to say please!”<\/p>\n
“He could just sit on the prow!\u00a0 I mean, dogs like to stick their heads out the window…”<\/p>\n
“I tell him to suck my cooter.”
\n“I don’t even wish that on our enemies.”
\n“…I just leave the ship.”<\/p>\n
“You’ve done a beautiful job on it, but your spell checker should be fired.”<\/p>\n
“And I am appalled that the vending machine does not take counterfeit coins.\u00a0 This is good Speerspitzan currency.”<\/p>\n
“That’s right, gravity.\u00a0 Suck it.”<\/p>\n
“Well, next time, don’t hire an anchor!”<\/p>\n
“Why are you still here?”
\n“Stockholm syndrome.”
\n“I DO like Stockholm.\u00a0 I’m not sure about syndromes…”
\n“Then why do you collect so many?”<\/p>\n
“No.\u00a0 No.\u00a0 The top of my head is not a dice box!”<\/p>\n
“Fortunately, his heart has been moved by all the alcohol.”
\n“No, just pickled.”<\/p>\n
“Why are you doing the ‘out of heals’ dance?”
\n“The ‘out of heals’ dance – so everyone knows.”<\/p>\n
“Heyyyy, I discovered returning axes!\u00a0 You throw axe straight up, it comes right back down!”<\/p>\n
“I think I’ve eaten two heads today.”
\n“And that’s why you don’t get a vote.”<\/p>\n
“You’re not born with a head in your mouth!”<\/p>\n
“It’s shark-dog penis-hands.”<\/p>\n
“And that, ladies and gentlemen, is why a low Constitution is bad.”<\/p>\n
“I’ve rolled this die twice!”
\n“Well, quit rolling my dice!\u00a0 They hate you!”<\/p>\n
“He took two hits: one from the manticore and one from the floor.”<\/p>\n
“You literally have a gun ‘stache!”<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
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