“Oh yeah!\u00a0 ‘Cause we’re racist against greasy fish!”
\n
\n“Yeah, fuck those fish!”
\n“That’s what the WD-40 is for.”<\/p>\n
“And we do have a loveable fish monster!”
\n“You heard, the captain said it!”
\n“Oh, I thought he meant Hunter [the shark-dog].”<\/p>\n
“Yeah, you can bury treasure; it’s hard to bury a ship.”<\/p>\n
“What are all these?”
\n“Those are islands, captain.”<\/p>\n
“I’m not worried about the cannibalism or the slavery, it’s the slime monsters.”<\/p>\n
“I hope you guys are buckled in for failure.”<\/p>\n
“They are fighting for freedom!”
\n“Someone put on a kilt and shout…”<\/p>\n
“I can only give you 80% of my best.\u00a0 The other 20% is solid drunk.”<\/p>\n
“As it is a poor craftsman who blames his tools, and I am an excellent craftsman… I blame the captain.”<\/p>\n
“I don’t eat them!\u00a0 I mean, I spit them out.\u00a0 I don’t swallow.”<\/p>\n
“Wait, you spit, not swallow?\u00a0 That’s how you know it’s love…”
\n“Well, he’s never been in love.”<\/p>\n
“Why are you still talking?\u00a0 Not a single action you’ve done has helped!”<\/p>\n
“You’ve obviously never met a child, have you.”<\/p>\n
“Oh, good.\u00a0 Because that’s better – a scary monster running at you with a flailing penis.”<\/p>\n
“Hi Marcus.\u00a0 Are you feeling better?\u00a0 Aside from the scary monster that WON’T STOP TALKING?”<\/p>\n
“I’m sorry my friend… ahem… the monster scared you.”<\/p>\n
“THAT is scarier than the mini!”
\n“Because he doesn’t have a hat!”<\/p>\n
“The fact that he was also doing poorly doesn’t change the fact that you were doing poorly.”<\/p>\n
“So next time, the away team will be very different.”
\n“I hope I’ll be on it.”
\n“You did fail to stop this.”<\/p>\n
“Are we about to abduct a small child?”
\n“No, he is coming voluntarily.”<\/p>\n
“I’ll just hang out back on the ship and pout.”<\/p>\n
“No, no, you smell failure coming from the island.”<\/p>\n
“Equally, I think you do not know how Chaotic Neutral works.\u00a0 NOBODY does.”<\/p>\n
“I sent THESE two.\u00a0 You’d think there would already be a bloodbath.”<\/p>\n
“Just because my sheet specifically says ‘pirate clothes’ and I dropped 12 throwing axes does not mean that I am pirate.”<\/p>\n
“There’s a lot of things with ‘ass’ that you don’t want to be.”
\n“Then again, there’s a lot that you do…”<\/p>\n
“I’m perfectly fine giving the guard AIDS to get access to the guard room.”<\/p>\n
“I’m just disgusted by the vag of Ghoul Fever.”<\/p>\n
“And there’s no other way?”
\n“It’s an entire wall of powder.\u00a0 I don’t have that much pee.”<\/p>\n
“What is the end goal of… uh…”
\n“Winning.”<\/p>\n
“Remember, you got someone killed, you asshole.”
\n“At least I’m important!”<\/p>\n
“I remember when owlbears used to mean something.”<\/p>\n
“Yeah, I don’t have any balls.”
\n“The rest of us are covering that for you.”
\n“Speak for yourself.”<\/p>\n
“The way I see it, we have two options: WE get rid of guards on roof, or YOU get rid of guards on roof.\u00a0 If we get rid of guards on roof, probably more blood.”<\/p>\n
“I like this plan.\u00a0 Do you know how to do it?”<\/p>\n
“Just so we’re clear: when I hit 100 demerits, I am pistol-whipping you.”<\/p>\n
“We don’t even have to talk!\u00a0 We’re both on the same page!”<\/p>\n
“I actually want you to like me; I just can’t help but hand out demerits.”<\/p>\n
“What’s the worst that can happen?\u00a0 We start a whole new adventure path.”
\n“No, I will be jumping in the water with all your stuff and walk along in the water…”<\/p>\n
“Is that a skull and crossed vulva?”<\/p>\n
“That would be affirmitive, Captain.\u00a0 I can, in fact, knock down the door from here.”<\/p>\n
“Hey, uh… when the tower falls, can we ride it down?”<\/p>\n
“If you were going to draw 10 tuns, what would it look like if you stacked it up along a wall in 50 barrels?”<\/p>\n
“Just saying – she impregnated guard, and I collapsed tower.\u00a0 I think we did pretty good.”<\/p>\n
“Yeah, I don’t think we thought that through.”
\n“We don’t think ANYTHING through!”<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
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