“I didn’t think it needed to be said, but now it does – if you need something to not be blown up or destroyed, you need to tell Yeveny.”
\n
\n“Did you intend to [blow the fortress up]?”
\n“Ehhh… 70-40.”
\n“Ignoring which side not blowing it up fell down on…”
\n“And that 70 + 40 is 110…”<\/p>\n
“The lady and the fishmonger…”
\n“Fishmonger?”
\n“He summons fish-things!”<\/p>\n
“Actually, isn’t there another name for the continent?”
\n“Africa.”<\/p>\n
“Ever since I voted for you, everything else has gone wrong.”<\/p>\n
“I told you before, if there’s any way for me to cast a negative vote for the fish…”<\/p>\n
“I don’t know if you noticed, but he’s getting creepier.”
\n“So is she.”<\/p>\n
“Captain Charlie Swift says he wants to waterski.\u00a0 Everyone blow on the sails…”<\/p>\n
“Don’t be logical at me.\u00a0 I just lost a vote.”<\/p>\n
“See, the problem with posting things on Twitter is that it’s impossible to capture Bryan’s note of absolute despair.”<\/p>\n
“I have to admit that I’m not the smartest peanut…”
\n“Is that your name?”<\/p>\n
“It would be really unfortunate if I had to throw you down the stairs.”<\/p>\n
“I do believe the safe word is ‘will you marry me?’…”<\/p>\n
“Well, we need a new lake.\u00a0 This one is impure.”<\/p>\n
“Does anyone have ‘Track Magical Treasure Bird’?”<\/p>\n
“I think if you’re tracking a flying treasure bird, that’s Appraisal, not Survival.”
\n“You know, I knew of a horse who had that skill…”<\/p>\n
“It was said that the horse was truly the ruler of the kingdom…”<\/p>\n
“Uh… birds don’t grind, right?”<\/p>\n
“Okay, here’s what I propose – we cook THIS bird, and…”<\/p>\n
“Okay, here’s my plan: we scare the shit out of them, and whichever one doesn’t poop is the magical one.”<\/p>\n
“That was embarrassing AND painful.”
\n“Story of my life…”<\/p>\n
“All right, now how do we catch it?”
\n“You got us all the way here, and you’re just asking that now?”<\/p>\n
“I’d shoot myself in the head, but it’s hard to do with a throwing axe.”<\/p>\n
“I don’t know why I said that in your voice.”
\n“Probably because I was thinking it.”
\n“Very loudly.”<\/p>\n
“That’s what extra block and tackle was for!\u00a0 Now we can’t get dwarf up into crow’s nest!”<\/p>\n
“It’s an uncomfortable feeling, but I agree with the fish-man…”<\/p>\n
“That’s what happened in ‘Treasure Island’, dammit.”
\n“Yeah, but that was fantasy.”<\/p>\n
“And that woman over there is the epicenter of the next four plagues that will devastate this planet.”<\/p>\n
“So what you’re saying here is Robert Lewis Stevenson is full of shit.”<\/p>\n
“I would imagine we have a full complement of tools to put our ship back together, given how often we have to put our ship back together.”<\/p>\n
“No, no, it floats – you just look really awkward.”<\/p>\n
“See, I wasn’t here for that.”
\n“That’s okay.\u00a0 We’ll constantly remind him of it until you’ve got it.”<\/p>\n
“Boat quietly, Bryan!”<\/p>\n
“I’ll sing the stealth song!”<\/p>\n
“I sleep in the nude.”
\n“I’m sure you do…”
\n“That’s why no one has challenged you for the captaincy.”<\/p>\n
“Sir, we found a fishman beating the shit out of a rudder.”
\n“‘What did you do?’\u00a0 ‘Sir, we put some food on a hook…'”<\/p>\n
“…Say the Death Knell stalks its prey for two nights before dragging it down to a watery hell on the third.”
\n“So we’ve got time!”<\/p>\n
“They think we are a whale.\u00a0 Can we fly a flag of ‘we are not a whale’?”<\/p>\n
“They walk like men headed to the gallows.\u00a0 Not because they’re going on the ghost ship, but because Mary T. was fingering at them…”<\/p>\n
“I am immediately leading the appraise parade.”<\/p>\n
“Was that a snorty laugh?”
\n“Yes, but his sarcophagus has balls!”<\/p>\n
“Sarah, they’re not testicles, I promise.”<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
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