“Steven Hawking would run my ass down.”
\n
\n“Kevin, as the GM, what do you say?”
\n“I’m not saying shit.”<\/p>\n
“Either that, or these are old-timey submarines that didn’t work out.”<\/p>\n
“We ARE going to have to found a Monkey Town at some point.”<\/p>\n
“We’ll come back later and say, ‘WHY ARE YOU STILL HERE?’ And they’ll answer, ‘BECAUSE YOU’RE BASTARDS!'”<\/p>\n
“We don’t call our group of ships a fleet.\u00a0 We call it a paragraph.”<\/p>\n
“I’ve heard that fish-men don’t have feelings, anyway.”<\/p>\n
“Of all the fish-men we’ve had on this ship – ”
\n“You’re the most recent!”<\/p>\n
“‘Here, fish-man, here’s some sunscreen.’\u00a0 ‘Why does this smell like teriyaki?'”<\/p>\n
“Yeahhh!\u00a0 I am a ma’am, thank you!”<\/p>\n
“Funny, but you don’t have boobs.”<\/p>\n
“He looks kind of quizzically at Charlie, because he wasn’t the captain the last time you met.”
\n“Yeah, we had him squibbed…”<\/p>\n
“I don’t know what your problem with tall women is.\u00a0 The best women are tall women.”
\n“And the ones with beards!”<\/p>\n
“Pretty sure I can sell my body to make that happen.\u00a0 And even if it’s not necessary, I can sell my body anyway…”<\/p>\n
“He was very important.\u00a0 He invented dirt.”<\/p>\n
“Oh, for the love of Jesus, it might be tomorrow by the time we [finish following the slow old guy and] get to this woman!”<\/p>\n
“He brought that fire from the gods themselves!”<\/p>\n
“You realize that your generic description of an elderly butler just gave us like 10 minutes of amusement.”
\n“I never once said elderly.\u00a0 You guys wrote that yourselves.”<\/p>\n
“He’s actually a 12 year old Mwongi lad.”<\/p>\n
“She is tall even for an elf.\u00a0 So she is a lesbian.”<\/p>\n
“…And no self-preservational instinct.”
\n“That’s not true at all!”<\/p>\n
“You should mention our previous achievements.\u00a0 For instance, there was that fishing boat we captured…”
\n“We got 400 pounds of mackeral!”<\/p>\n
“So, we have an interesting variety of jobs we can do.”
\n“Most of them involving blood…”<\/p>\n
“I’m looking for a letter of marque.\u00a0 We want to be real, legit pirates!”<\/p>\n
“It’s a calamari.”
\n“It’s a kraken.”
\n“Trust me, I eat these every time I come into port.\u00a0 It’s calamari.”
\n“No, it’s in a bigger bowl, and that makes it a kraken.”<\/p>\n
“I think we’ve done really well tonight.”
\n“That’s because we have low standards.”<\/p>\n
“But I think you have to stay to yourself, why do you want to be a pirate of the Shackles?”
\n“Because it’s in the book.”<\/p>\n
“Because I have Besmara’s tripod!” (pointing down)
\n“He’s pointing at the shark-dog again, isn’t he.”<\/p>\n
“Yeah… uh… ‘May you never find a barnacle on your backside.'”
\n“So much for that 18 charisma…”<\/p>\n
“Next time we pass that way, we’ll check on the corpses – I mean, Mwongi…”<\/p>\n
“To be fair, even if I gave obligation to go back to Rock, I lie.\u00a0 A lot.\u00a0 I could be lying now; I lose track.”<\/p>\n
“Shark-dog likes your kraken.”
\n“He’d like it more with garlic butter.”
\n“I’d like everyone more with garlic butter.”<\/p>\n
“The awesome part is, we’re carrying around a bunch of salt water, in case we want something more savory.”<\/p>\n
“The best part is, we can tell Mary, ‘Release the kraken!'”
\n“That’s what she calls her snatch…”<\/p>\n
“Can we NOT have him be the lookout any more?”<\/p>\n
“92.”
\n“92?”
\n“Darryl, you may have killed that guy.”<\/p>\n
“Maybe you should do your job and tell the marines to do their job and latch onto the ship instead of killing people with excessive blood!”<\/p>\n
“Okay.\u00a0 Whatever.\u00a0 That’ll be 9 points of damage for the lie.”<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
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