“This burger gets more and more curious as I go along…”
\n
\n“We’re big boy pirates now, so…”<\/p>\n
“Barnabas comes out of the tavern.\u00a0 ‘Didn’t I park here?'”
\n“That would be awesome.”<\/p>\n
“I see we’re going to keep her.”
\n“Are you going to chain her up and take care of her?”<\/p>\n
“I’m not going to put her in a cask and throw in a man to feed her now and then!”
\n“Oh, good call.\u00a0 I haven’t checked on the kraken recently… I should go do that.”<\/p>\n
“I’ll have you know that our captain is much more dismissive… so, prepare to be delegated.”<\/p>\n
“That’s going to be our new cry when we board a ship.\u00a0 ‘Prepare to be delegated!'”<\/p>\n
“Okay, so, surrender to yourselves…\u00a0 Those of you who, fight those of you who don’t.”<\/p>\n
“How do you tell who won?”
\n“If they look at us with praise, we won.\u00a0 If they don’t, then we sink their ship and move on.”<\/p>\n
“Did I save him?\u00a0 No, I just kept talking to him…”<\/p>\n
“See, you thought we got rid of the kraken.\u00a0 I actually put it back in there to see how it flavored the rum.”
\n“I thought you taught it to brew…”
\n“It’s actually a kraken alchemist.”
\n“A krakelmist?<\/p>\n
“I’m not with him.”
\n“I am with him in not being with him.”<\/p>\n
“But if he was going to be relied on, he could be relied on to be unreliable.”<\/p>\n
“Why didn’t we let Kacey be captain, again?”<\/p>\n
“We do get results.”
\n“Of one sort or another.”
\n“Well, okay, we do make things happen.”<\/p>\n
“Ask me anything about my god – anything at all – and I’ll see if I can answer that question.\u00a0 It’s not looking good, though…”<\/p>\n
“Do you need to telegate your sense motive-ing?”
\n“I need to delegate basically everything.”<\/p>\n
“Good, so we always go to the place where we’ll be hated the most.”<\/p>\n
“How likely is it that another ship full of pirates, with a fish man with a moustache, is going to show up?”<\/p>\n
“All right.\u00a0 Let’s go get our comedically large moustaches on.”<\/p>\n
“Such an aptly-named ship for what we use it for…”
\n“What, death?”<\/p>\n
“I’ve had this moustache since my very first… eh…”
\n“Your first ‘eh’?”
\n“My first encounter, let’s say.\u00a0 It’s my lucky moustache.”<\/p>\n
“You can have the cash, but we’re keeping the box.\u00a0 We can’t not steal something; we’re pirates.”<\/p>\n
“We stole you your cash back.”<\/p>\n
“A young and beautiful – and also scantily clad elf girl – meets you at the door.”
\n“Shotgun!”<\/p>\n
“She shunts the rest of the party off to various acolytes…”
\n“As many as I can herd at one time.”<\/p>\n
“All right.\u00a0 You write down everything you know and everything you want to know, and we’ll take it to the other temple and compare lists…”<\/p>\n
“Not to mention we learned some tricks from this paladin-king up north.\u00a0 He had a magical man-gina…”<\/p>\n
“Wow, he just got all squinty.”
\n“It’s the sun in his eyes.”
\n“It’s the imminent stabbing.”<\/p>\n
“Your belly spits?”<\/p>\n
“Darryl, can we change places?”
\n“No ma’am.\u00a0 I don’t want Kacey’s lower regions spitting at me.”<\/p>\n
“I don’t know about you, but all this talk of secrets has me secreting.”
\n“…Maybe you should wait on the ship.”<\/p>\n
“We do have one tradition: that a secret must be purchased with a secret.”
\n“Well, when I was five…”<\/p>\n
“I don’t think I want to continue with this.\u00a0 You’re the captain.\u00a0 You pay.”
\n“Well, all right.\u00a0 When my bosun was five…”<\/p>\n
“I have a secret.\u00a0 I ate the kraken and replaced it with an animatronic tentacle.”<\/p>\n
“I assume you’re not looking to hear stories of grab-ass between cousins, or eating pets.”<\/p>\n
“Will you take a secret I just made up?”<\/p>\n
“That’s not a secret.\u00a0 People could see that explosion for miles around.”<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
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