“If I was going to beat someone with a game console, I would use the original X-Box.”
\n
\n“I think this is a grand opportunity to actually get something done.”
\n“Ugh!\u00a0 Get something done?\u00a0 Us?”<\/p>\n
“Continuing regardless of the number of casualties is the only way I can think of to get through this.”
\n“Did you say number of casualties?”<\/p>\n
“I think ‘head penis’ is a great ship name!”<\/p>\n
“I don’t think John remembers he’s got an item on his ship that increases its speed and maneuverability.”
\n“I don’t think John remembers he’s on a ship.”<\/p>\n
“Requesting denial of permission to come aboard!\u00a0 I hear no denial of permission to come aboard.”<\/p>\n
“To be fair, the alchemist kind of killed himself.”
\n“By allowing himself to be employed by this party?”<\/p>\n
“Can we confirm that it’s dead, not just playing dead with an anchor in its face?”<\/p>\n
“I didn’t realize it was sealed!\u00a0 I was listening to ‘bottle’ and ‘scroll’!”<\/p>\n
“Hahahaha.\u00a0 Dwarven ingenuity.”
\n“…Or alchemy.”<\/p>\n
“Do you think Hell Harbor has a civic beautification committee?”<\/p>\n
“Devil’s Arches sounds like something that happens when you have bad shoes.”
\n“I was just thinking it sounded like the corporate merger between McDonald’s and Chipotle.”<\/p>\n
“Fifteen, and I promise not to leave the devil on the deck when we take it.”
\n“Deck?”
\n“Pier.”<\/p>\n
“Twenty-five, and I’ll forget what you look like and the name of your ship.”<\/p>\n
“Are you gonna make a soup out of that?”
\n“No, I’m gonna go find a priest.”<\/p>\n
“Devil dogs are the new sorbet machine.”
\n“Custard machine.”
\n“No, the dress was the new sorbet machine…”<\/p>\n
“You claimed the devil juice, it’s yours.”<\/p>\n
“The Dirge has the museum of terrible things…”
\n“We’re building a sideshow.\u00a0 We have three exhibits so far.”<\/p>\n
“So next week, when they ask me why on earth I kept the corpse of a terrible demon so it could come after me, I’ll explain that it’s for the kraken.”<\/p>\n
“How about we give it to Collins so we don’t have to give him a real ship one day?”<\/p>\n
“I want to pass just close enough to the Covenant that they have to wonder if that’s a dwarf ass…”<\/p>\n
“I say we board our own ship just to get extra infamy.”<\/p>\n
“You’re the weakest dwarf I’ve ever met!\u00a0 How do you get out of bed in the morning?”<\/p>\n
“Uhhhh… beard too heavy… somebody shave me…”<\/p>\n
“I actually have a 20 strength, but only in my neck.”<\/p>\n
[talking about Cadbury eggs] “All I know is, since the new receipe, they don’t scramble as well as they used to.”<\/p>\n
“We have a Seven Demon Bag!\u00a0 Well, okay, we have a smashed imp in a bag…”<\/p>\n
“When he knocks, the door falls open.”
\n“Wow, this is really easy.”<\/p>\n
“It’s like his hands are enchanted with the Knock spell!”<\/p>\n
“I’ve seen so hard, I’ve found the meaning of life!”<\/p>\n
“I prefer not to talk through doors!\u00a0 They impede vocal progress.”<\/p>\n
“Missing?\u00a0 Since when?”
\n“I’ve only been in port for two hours.\u00a0 She’s been missing the whole time.”<\/p>\n
“You’re climbing?\u00a0 With your die?”<\/p>\n
“He’s wet; throw some more crap in his eyes.”<\/p>\n
“Why does Kevin always crit me?”
\n“Because it’s fun?”
\n“Because I hate you?”<\/p>\n
“Blind fighting.\u00a0 They should have that tattooed on their forehead.”<\/p>\n
“And whereas I can tell you exactly which blade of grass I’m going to hit with a spear, axes are kind of iffy.\u00a0 And knives?\u00a0 Mmm.”<\/p>\n
“Well, I’m going to halberd him a question.”<\/p>\n
“He does not surrender.\u00a0 He’s lying down on the ground with his eyes shut; that means he wants to join your crew.”<\/p>\n
“I’m not sure what eating a demon is going to do to a kraken; I’m sure it can’t be good for him.\u00a0 But we all think it’s a good idea…”<\/p>\n
“How many Zs in Port Peril are there?”
\n“P-o-r-t-P-e-r-i-l – none.\u00a0 There are no Zs in Port Peril.”<\/p>\n
“Papers.”
\n“I’m going to need that back in case we get into more trouble.”<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
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