“I prefer gif animations of cats, because I don’t have the attention span for a video.”
\n
\n“Uh, if I’m not worried about killing MY character, what makes you think I worry about killing yours?”<\/p>\n
“We’re learning life lessons from Deadpool?”<\/p>\n
“We may need to rethink our lives.”
\n“And that’s an important lesson we’ve learned.”
\n“Dammit.”<\/p>\n
“Nothing goes into the Room of Terrible Things without being in a box.\u00a0 That’s the rule.”<\/p>\n
“His character lost so much CON, HE got sick.”<\/p>\n
“I had forgotten who – er, I had forgotten what was in the sack.”<\/p>\n
“This plan has zero chances to pay off in a good way, but there are lots of chances for it to pay off in exciting ways.”<\/p>\n
“That’s how we kill alchemists, right? ‘Hey, can you look at this?’ ‘Yes.’ ‘Hey, why are you dead?”<\/p>\n
“That’s what we should do!\u00a0 We’ll throw an apothecary party on the ship!”<\/p>\n
“I can’t wait to hear that general report to the Hurricane King. ‘There’s these pirates; they’re running around town killing apothecaries. We’re not sure why…”<\/p>\n
“This is one of those rare societies where they didn’t figure out how to write, but they call each other up on the phone to chat…”<\/p>\n
“That’s what she said.”
\n“I don’t remember her saying that.”
\n“Well, she did, so don’t worry about it.”<\/p>\n
“See what you did?\u00a0 Now you’re like him!”<\/p>\n
“That’s mine and Jen’s song.\u00a0 Because she hates it.”<\/p>\n
“Are you ninja-ing Yamarino?”
\n“Yup.”<\/p>\n
“Well, I’m curious what an apastacary is now.”<\/p>\n
“Does that mean there’s healing pasta now?”
\n“Sure!\u00a0 Here, have a Moderate!”<\/p>\n
“This man is dying; get him some lasagna!”<\/p>\n
“You probably have enough gold to buy a new sack of marbles.”
\n“But it wouldn’t be the same.”<\/p>\n
“Has Mary T ever slept with you?”
\n“No.”
\n“Well, maybe you’re the apothecary.”<\/p>\n
“Yes, but the goods you peddle, Ms. Mary, are your titties, and those are never out of stock.”<\/p>\n
“Zip ties?\u00a0 Have you even SEEN boobs?”<\/p>\n
“What kind of pirate would I be if I wasn’t on the deck in gold stilettos?”<\/p>\n
“While you’re at it, just rip the building up and shake it around!”
\n“I can do all that, but that door…”<\/p>\n
“It’s a euphemism for his nuts.”
\n“Yeah, they suck the life out of anyone they touch.”<\/p>\n
“Move me in appropriately.”
\n“Move you inappropriately?”<\/p>\n
“Oh, it’s dark enough that hopefully nobody will notice I vomited.”<\/p>\n
“Let’s look through the rusty armoire.”
\n“You mean dusty?”
\n“That’s not what I called it.”<\/p>\n
“I think you’ve made poor life choices, Matt.”
\n“I take 2 points of non-lethal damage.”<\/p>\n
“I like going last; it puts a kind of emphasis on my actions.\u00a0 It’s like going first for the next round.”<\/p>\n
“To be fair, the trap will probably only hit someone once.\u00a0 I, however, will hit someone three times.”<\/p>\n
“Is it a jar of pickles?”
\n“No, it’s a jar of, ‘I think I’m a mage.'”<\/p>\n
“Masterwork mattress.”
\n“Plus 2.”
\n“You just throw it under your enemies and they fall asleep.”<\/p>\n
“I will waste a 20!\u00a0 I’ll waste it right now!”<\/p>\n
“I thought I had a dice problem.\u00a0 Then I met Sarah.”<\/p>\n
“Can you handle that guy by yourself?”
\n“Well, Mary T is there.”<\/p>\n
“If you swallow it, it’s 8000 gold worth of poop…”<\/p>\n
“Everything about me is saucy.\u00a0 Except my fingernails.\u00a0 They are not.”<\/p>\n
“Two masterwork butterfly swords…”
\n“You can use them to cut masterwork butterflies!”<\/p>\n
“I need you to put your head in my hand so I can squish it.”<\/p>\n
“+1 Venetian blinds?\u00a0 Oh no!”<\/p>\n
“Look, we’re allowed to pirate out on the high seas, but I don’t think we’re allowed to pirate the house.”<\/p>\n
“She promises us her support and vote in the pirate council, should we need it.”
\n“That’s important.\u00a0 We’ll probably need it in book 6.”
\n“And we’re stupid.”<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
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