“Well, you guys are around him all the time; shoot rubber bands at his penis until he does it.”
\n
\n“I found out today that there’s a group of spiders called pirate spiders.\u00a0 I assume they have, like, peg-legs and eyepatches.”<\/p>\n
“They’re called balloon spiders, and they’re made by the DEVIL.”<\/p>\n
“Haa-ha.\u00a0 Someone dropped a ball.”<\/p>\n
“I don’t know what this is, but I want to put it in my mouth.”<\/p>\n
“I call for some sort of ruling about excessive bases on the Covenant.”<\/p>\n
“I have five ranks in it now.”
\n“Without Fear?”
\n“Yes.”
\n“What are you talking about?”<\/p>\n
“On the corner of Teleport and BAMF?”<\/p>\n
“I like cuttlefish, because they’re cuddly.”
\n“Cuttle, not cuddle…”<\/p>\n
“Oh, can I have the fighter?\u00a0 I love the way it crunches.”<\/p>\n
“No, no, this is a membrane only club.”<\/p>\n
“I’m towing it to give everyone else a fair advantage.”<\/p>\n
“I cast Blistering Invective! ‘You viscious monster!\u00a0 What have you done to that fish-man!'”<\/p>\n
“So what you’re saying is that you spoke harshly to a lightning elemental, and it left the ship.”<\/p>\n
“If you get a dwarf, you get a siege engineer.”
\n“Hmm…”<\/p>\n
“To be honest, Darryl and Sandra are out, so they’re probably dead anyway because it’s just me and the elemental.”<\/p>\n
“It only says every man should obey his commander.\u00a0 It doesn’t say we have to respect him.”<\/p>\n
“Funny, I won’t mutiny for anything on the ship, but if the captain orders me to respect him, and that’s it, I’m gone!”<\/p>\n
“Well, I wasn’t hurt last round.”
\n“Yeah, but everyone else was.”
\n“Yeah, but they don’t matter.”<\/p>\n
“I’m prone, with a rifle.”
\n“There’s no penalties for that.”
\n“Nope!\u00a0 It’s usually a good thing.”<\/p>\n
“Rope elementals?”
\n“There’s no such thing as – ”
\n“Then you can cut it in half, and you get half a rope elemental!”<\/p>\n
“Okay, it hits itself and causes itself to flee…”<\/p>\n
“If you’re lucky, it will kill itself before you get killed.”
\n“Then it gets the loot and XP for itself!”<\/p>\n
“Why does the lightning elemental have car keys?”
\n“Because it’s a bitch of a commute!”<\/p>\n
“You have to obey your captain’s orders, not act like him.”<\/p>\n
“Completely without meaning to, guys, I’ve built an effective character!”<\/p>\n
“It’s beating itself off; we’re ok.\u00a0 Wait…”<\/p>\n
“Furry pilots?”<\/p>\n
“Press the yiff button!”<\/p>\n
“Because if we continue on this topic, we’re going to find out how far a d12 goes up Bryan’s nose.”<\/p>\n
“If something is invisible, you can see it; it’s in visible.\u00a0 If you can’t see it, then it’s unvisible.”<\/p>\n
“I got an 8 for my climb check.”
\n“You are the greatest captain ever.”<\/p>\n
“What did you hear?”
\n“Name.”
\n“I got a name for my climb check?”<\/p>\n
“You’re still better than Captain Bag-o’-dicks.”<\/p>\n
“Sandy spends everything she has and heals everyone for 16 points.”
\n“See, I told everyone I was fine.”<\/p>\n
“Why are there teeth in the deck?”<\/p>\n
“I don’t think you get more infamy by sacrificing yourself…”<\/p>\n
“He doesn’t need an instrument any more; now he’s an accordion.”<\/p>\n
“I’d wager that has to partially distract those invisible fuckers…”<\/p>\n
“I’ve to get rid of this ‘take it in the butt’ armor.”
\n“It has a really good armor class, but the flaw…”<\/p>\n
“I stand up and begin to sing.\u00a0 It’s going to sound different now because I don’t have any teeth.”<\/p>\n
“Should we invite the guests from our last party?”<\/p>\n
“We ARE inviting you to be spiteful and shallow, but we’re not kidnapping you this time.”<\/p>\n
“It’s probably inert and does nothing; the guy just put on makeup and pretended to be dead to get us to go away.”<\/p>\n
“We’re not cruel; those were gentle lashings.”<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
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