“This also means Charlie is invincible.”
\n“How so?”
\n“If something kills me off, you guys have to go through the whole regatta again to choose a new lord.”
\n
\n“Oh, I thought you were going to say the game has a button to cry.”
\n“No, your character does that automatically.”<\/p>\n
“Well, the difference between an eagle and a chicken is the size of the hot wings.”<\/p>\n
“It’s like watching your grandfather try and do something on one.”
\n“The hat helps.”<\/p>\n
“I like how you have your own sealed copy there, but you’re looking through his.”
\n“I have to take it home on the motorcycle.\u00a0 Also, I still have sauce on my fingers.\u00a0 And I know when Bryan looks through it, he’ll have sauce on his fingers, so…”<\/p>\n
“Books have stopped working.”<\/p>\n
“Oh, Yamarino, you’re doing to love this island.”
\n“Uhh… I run.”<\/p>\n
“…but the word ‘triceratops’ appears multiple times on this page.”
\n“Uhhh… I surrender.\u00a0 And offer to serve him.”<\/p>\n
“Good luck with the tablet.”
\n“And good luck with the octengarianism.”<\/p>\n
“Uhh… I think it’s funnier if I do it myself.”<\/p>\n
“It has a camera.”
\n“So it can record your idiocy?”<\/p>\n
“Boneless leather!”
\n“What kind of leather has bones?”<\/p>\n
“This is depressing.”
\n“I agree.\u00a0 I don’t know why we get together like this every week.”<\/p>\n
“Are we planning to sail there in real time?”
\n“Yes.\u00a0 Several weeks.”<\/p>\n
“Uhh… I’m not getting on that ship ever again, after that dance.”<\/p>\n
“I’m sure we have enough ropes on the ships to tie them all together to make 500′ of rope.”
\n“Well, we can tie two half ropes together…”<\/p>\n
“I got a 17.\u00a0 That’s the good news.\u00a0 The bad news is, that’s based on a 1.”<\/p>\n
“You’re driving along, and all of a sudden – Christopher Reeves!”<\/p>\n
“We still do things in there; we just do them at our own speed… which is, as we in the Royal Navy say, glacial.”<\/p>\n
“You’re getting me in trouble!\u00a0 Stop it!”<\/p>\n
“Surprise them – it’ll be the last thing they suspect!”
\n“That doesn’t jive with my character build.”<\/p>\n
“Okay, I believe I have established that the crew of the Dirge doesn’t pay attention to anything.”<\/p>\n
“We mount the Bitch’s Widow and we go in.”
\n“What does ‘the Bitch’s Widow’ mean?”
\n“That’s what I named my boat.”
\n“I thought it was a nautical term!”<\/p>\n
“Look, I’m doing really good to not call this sail ‘latrine’.”<\/p>\n
“We can land near the sarcasm…”
\n“We can never get away from the sarcasm.”<\/p>\n
“Do fish people have sarcasms when they mate?”
\n“Why did you drop the lisp and go Scottish all of a sudden?”<\/p>\n
“‘So what did you guys do last night?’ ‘Oh, we talked about seaweed and my failure to please you.'”<\/p>\n
“Isn’t that the name of an upscale bed and breakfast in New England?\u00a0 ‘Bedside Manor’?”<\/p>\n
“Well, there’s this guy, and he’s on my ship, and he has a gun…”
\n“I shoot him.”<\/p>\n
“Gill R. Fishman.”
\n“Holy shit.\u00a0 That’s actually your name!”
\n“Yeah.”
\n“I thought we were just calling you Gill to mock you!”<\/p>\n
“Kacey?”
\n“An overwhelming desire to reroll… otherwise known as a 12.”<\/p>\n
“Your people probably eat this thing.\u00a0 Or have sex with them.”<\/p>\n
“It’s a fucking kraken!”
\n“I’m trained in kraken grappling.”<\/p>\n
“Why are you singing the Meow Mix song?”
\n“Are you trying to demoralize the kraken?”
\n“It’s my inspiring song.”<\/p>\n
“It’s ribbeting.”
\n“It’s the Don King of squid!”<\/p>\n
“Holy shit!\u00a0 Why are we fighting this kraken when we could be going after a moustache?!”<\/p>\n
“Why are we going after this kraken when I could be having a moustache ride?!”<\/p>\n
“I should never have given you something to write on.”
\n“She should have never have given me a pencil.”<\/p>\n
“Looks like he’s shitting me out.”
\n“That’ll be soon.”<\/p>\n
“I take solace in the fact that my penis will be the last thing it eats, given its location on my body.”<\/p>\n
“But they’re not normally aggressive.\u00a0 Unless you rip their wings off and put them on a cousin.”<\/p>\n
“I will make a sail check to sail up the waterfall.”<\/p>\n
“I think you turn into a sad sack of flesh and bones.”<\/p>\n
“I think there’s been 2 deaths on this table side.”
\n“Three.”
\n“Oh, right!\u00a0 The goblin!\u00a0 So there’s been 3 deaths on this table side.”
\n“That’s why I’m on this side.”<\/p>\n
“You should be ashamed of how funny that is.”<\/p>\n
“You wouldn’t think that seven pirates would be this desparate for rope!”<\/p>\n
“What’s your climb skill?”
\n“Three.”
\n“You fucker.”<\/p>\n
[following the dwarf falling 420 feet]
\n“I just remembered!\u00a0 I have a ring of feather fall!”<\/p>\n
“I found the gun pretzel, sir!”<\/p>\n
“Anybody know what happened to our dwarf?\u00a0 I found this faint brown stain…”<\/p>\n
“He just dropped an atomic elbow on me!”
\n“From 400 feet!”<\/p>\n
“Well, they’re not that competent, sir.\u00a0 One of them tried to commit suicide and failed!\u00a0 He jumped off this cliff!”<\/p>\n
“Why were you going to try to kill Charlie?”
\n“Because I was going to take someone out with me, and he was the only target.”<\/p>\n
“Trust me, when you’ve got that much windshear on your balls…”<\/p>\n
“They’re excavating blue baubles!” [giggling]<\/p>\n
“This ring is special.\u00a0 It means you cannot touch me.”
\n“I can.”
\n“In that she is not gravity…”<\/p>\n
“I know better than to hug dwarves.\u00a0 Because dwarves sprout axes.”<\/p>\n
“Is that going to be our new euphemism?”<\/p>\n
“What is a catamaran?\u00a0 I know it’s a kind of boat, but I know there are distinctions…”<\/p>\n
“Let’s go check it out.”
\n“Right.\u00a0 Let’s go set fire to it.”<\/p>\n
“Everything needs Ricardo Montalban.”<\/p>\n
“Wraith character: Ricard Montalban!”<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
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