“Diplomacy is for people who can’t punch through doors.”
\n
\n“Darryl, duct tape them to the floor.”
\n“…Why?”
\n“I don’t know.”
\n“Well, as long as it’s not the same reason as Kevin…”<\/p>\n
“I mean, I realize he’s right downstairs and if I stomp hard enough, I can kick him in the head, but…”<\/p>\n
“I don’t believe in 10 ft squares.”
\n“10 ft squares are an abomination unto Nuggan.”<\/p>\n
“I like over here better.”
\n“Yeeesss, I like over there better too.”
\n“I’m going this [other] way.”<\/p>\n
“I did 14 and it was a solid hit, but that [hit] hurt more.”<\/p>\n
“However, he does get a roguish grin, as thugh he suddenly remembered something that he’s going to do next turn.”<\/p>\n
“Did you just lemming again, D?”
\n“No, I’m still standing…”<\/p>\n
“He’s going to cast Flash of Brutality…”
\n“That doesn’t sound good.”
\n“Uh, I hand him my iPhone.\u00a0 It does not support Flash.”<\/p>\n
[After a particularly bad set of rolls]
\n“So Yammy is with us in spirit, at least.”<\/p>\n
“I didn’t ignore you.\u00a0 I just refused to acknowledge that I know you.”<\/p>\n
“I’m gonna drag me out to the parking lot and curbstomp myself.”
\n“I kinda want to see that…”<\/p>\n
“That number doesn’t look as big as it did a minute ago…”<\/p>\n
“Ah, that may be where it kills me.”
\n“Congratulations, you’re not staggered!”<\/p>\n
“This is just humiliating.\u00a0 Next you’re just going to poke him in the eye with a stick.”<\/p>\n
“It’s fundamentally the same as wasp vomit.”
\n“So you’re going to vomit monkeys?”<\/p>\n
“‘Flea!\u00a0 Flea!’\u00a0 ‘I can’t run away: I’m up a column!’\u00a0 ‘No, FLEA!'”<\/p>\n
“Trashy cyclopean romance!\u00a0 ‘She batted her eye at him.'”
\n“‘He stared at her incomprehensible angles.’\u00a0 You did say cylcopean.”<\/p>\n
“I’m drinking a potion of drunkenness.\u00a0 It’s called rum.”<\/p>\n
“Gelt!\u00a0 I got to play that in Words With Friends the other day!\u00a0 I was so excited because I got to play a word I know.”
\n“It was a gelt-y pleasure?”<\/p>\n
“We came out on a different island.\u00a0 You can’t tell me we didn’t!\u00a0 We came out on a different island, on a different ship, in a different book, although that’s kind of meta for this conversation.”<\/p>\n
“There’s not enough research on that.”
\n“I’d be happy to help with the research…”<\/p>\n
“We pushed his stuff in.\u00a0 Now we’re going to push his stuff into the bag of holding.”<\/p>\n
“Oh.\u00a0 I have more languages than I thought I did.\u00a0 There’s a scroll.”<\/p>\n
“Yeah, Bryan showed me the biggest blackest dick at lunch.”<\/p>\n
“I haven’t actually gone into my bigger, blacker box to see if the biggest blackest dick is inside it.”<\/p>\n
“Ah, secondarily, pay no attention to the thousands of invisible creatures wandering around down there with you.”<\/p>\n
“Look, I saw how you treated Shark-Dog before he became a pair of pants…”<\/p>\n
“Why don’t YOU have something give its life to investigate for you?”
\n“I did!\u00a0 I had two axes, and now I have one!”<\/p>\n
“Spiders are known for deceit and lies.\u00a0 Hence the phrase ‘web of lies.'”<\/p>\n
“So it is only by virtue of the fact that he is cheap that you survive this encounter.”<\/p>\n
“Want me to scratch your belly again?”<\/p>\n
“Your eidolon would look like an axe.”<\/p>\n
“You want me to throw an axe to you?\u00a0 I only know one way to throw them…”<\/p>\n
“Congratulations.\u00a0 You look like an extremely nerdy hobo.”<\/p>\n
“You’re going to shoot an arrow into the middle of four of your companions, blinded…?”<\/p>\n
“I hit the right thing, right?”<\/p>\n
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