“Great.\u00a0 ‘Don’t worry, Bryan, you have the building skills of a five year old.'”
\n“He’s six, thank you.”
\n
\n“Just because it’s actually a term doesn’t mean you didn’t also make it up.”<\/p>\n
“How do you make a bridge swing?”
\n“You invite it to a party and make it put its keys in the jar…”<\/p>\n
“OK, so… we are entertaining – ”
\n“Ourselves?”<\/p>\n
“He has a Charisma; I just don’t know if he knows how to use it.”<\/p>\n
“You’re going to try to impress these pirate lords and carry on your normal operations.\u00a0 By which I mean keep them hidden.”<\/p>\n
“He didn’t take any points off for ME showing him my weiner.”
\n“You’re an alchemist.\u00a0 There’s no way to be sure.”<\/p>\n
“They’re all dead!”
\n“They have to be if you’re going to eat them!”<\/p>\n
“They don’t know.\u00a0 And by they, I mean we.”<\/p>\n
“Look, this is really the pirates’ council’s fault for expecting us to do this.”<\/p>\n
“This might be a good opportunity for someone to tell her a story.”
\n“Got it.”
\n“NO!”<\/p>\n
“Saucy, perform oral.”
\n“Got it.\u00a0 I’ve got +21; she’s gonna enjoy it.”
\n“Uh, I’ve got a forked tongue.”<\/p>\n
“He’s a pretty well-respected fish-man.\u00a0 He made a Wish to get respect.”<\/p>\n
“Yamarino has brought a head-penis to the game.\u00a0 A strobing head-penis.”<\/p>\n
“I can cast Enlarge.\u00a0 Oh, wait, that’s Entangle.”<\/p>\n
“Is this all I get?\u00a0 Unlimited spankings?”<\/p>\n
“You manage to move your buttocks out of the way this time.”<\/p>\n
“I will stand in the way and look pretty.”
\n“I will also stand in the way and look pretty.”
\n“Fail, and fail.”<\/p>\n
“And then casts a magic spell and it disappears, because it was a dick move on our part too.”<\/p>\n
“You’ll note that the head-penis did not actually grant you a hero point… but that did.”<\/p>\n
“I didn’t realize that Kacey ran like Scooby.”<\/p>\n
“You don’t want me to roll damage?”
\n“Is it possible for you to roll less than a 4 on a critical?”<\/p>\n
“Surely this isn’t the worst party ever thrown.\u00a0 We already threw that party…”<\/p>\n
“So which plan are you going for – asking Yehviny to keep his hands off the women, setting him on fire, creating a smoking area that looks like there was a fire…?”<\/p>\n
“Is it Mace Windu?”
\n“No, and I was waiting for that question.”
\n“Can it be Mace Windu now?”<\/p>\n
“Someone’s sabotaging the party.\u00a0 Given that it’s rat sex juice, I don’t think it’s the fishman.”<\/p>\n
“I’ve done two useful things tonight.\u00a0 That’s more than I’ve done in this game before.”<\/p>\n
“Fortunately, we don’t require people to be competent or useful here…”<\/p>\n
“To be fair, assuming he’s not in shark-dog mode while sitting at the table for this feast…”<\/p>\n
“Cast it on the food in my stomach!\u00a0 Oh god!”
\n“Why’s it trying to come out?!”<\/p>\n
“I saw her go in a particular direction and our keep is full of holes, so I think traveling in the same direction, I’ll find her.”<\/p>\n
“That’s how I see Saucy talking – with nipple fingers.”
\n“Did you know you had nipple fingers?”<\/p>\n
“I also have a crazy Russian accent, too.”
\n“No, that’s mine.”<\/p>\n
“No, no, proximity.\u00a0 Not leering.”<\/p>\n
“But I’m not going to hold a knife to your throat – A, because I do not carry them, and B, because it’s not appropriate.”<\/p>\n
“Pair of balls guarding the women.\u00a0 That’s all that’s left.”<\/p>\n
“Sweetheart, you have done a surprising amount of thought about severing genitalia.”
\n“This. Group.”<\/p>\n
“I can only try to make you an offer you can’t refuse.\u00a0 If you refuse, there’s nothing I can do.”<\/p>\n
“So I’m here to make sure no one gets hurt.”
\n“No, you’re here to make sure I don’t get hurt when I told him there were conditions.”<\/p>\n
“I believe, when it comes down to it, that his shark-dog is inferior to my shark-dog.\u00a0 He does not have a fluffy tail.”<\/p>\n
“I turn into a shark-dog, and he turns into a shark-dude.\u00a0 Nobody goes, ‘It’s a dude!'”<\/p>\n
“It wouldn’t be the first time we put a hat on something and called it a pirate.”<\/p>\n
“The ghost of Mary T, vandalizing your cutlery.”<\/p>\n
“‘Why does every fork have a dick drawn on it?’\u00a0 ‘Ghosts.'”<\/p>\n
“It goes back a long time.\u00a0 It’s seriously impressive.\u00a0 We’ve been stupid a long time.”<\/p>\n
“They’re not whores any more.”
\n“Well, one of them is.”
\n“Only because you Catholic guilted her into it!”<\/p>\n
“Wow, the book assumes you’re going to do X, Y, Z.”
\n“And we do A, B, C?”
\n“More like 178.”<\/p>\n
“He may have been drugged.”
\n“Well, we will find out shortly if it’s a stamina drug.”
\n“If it lasts more than four hours, you should call a physician.”<\/p>\n
“Well, if you see Kaw, tell him I’m in the main room entertaining the guests.”
\n“And just about then, Kaw comes zipping up.”
\n[In unison] “Kaw, the captain is in the main room, entertaining the guests.”<\/p>\n
“Please stop shining that in my face.”
\n“Well, if Bryan’s face stops moving, that would be much easier.”
\n“Yes, sir, once again I’ll take one in the face for the team.”<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
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