“I can’t believe you laughed at that.”
\n“I laughed because it was the worst German accent EVER.”
\n
\n“You’ll find his ship anchored at the bottom of the harbor.”
\n“The bottom-bottom?”<\/p>\n
“Hey-ho, Kermit the Frog here, with Chellaxian house news.”<\/p>\n
“I can’t be a halfling.”
\n“You can’t be a halfling?”
\n“I’m glad you’ve come to that decision at your time of life…”<\/p>\n
“You have water breathing, but you do not have club resistance.”<\/p>\n
“I’m so glad your attributing plans to me that aren’t mine – and mocking me for plans that aren’t mine.”<\/p>\n
“I didn’t ruin ANYTHING last week, and you guys won’t even let me get over that.\u00a0 Geez.”
\n“Ha-ha!\u00a0\u00a0 You performed adequately!”<\/p>\n
“Way to go, be competent!\u00a0 Geez!”
\n“Ruin our perfect record!”
\n“Way to go, raising the bar!\u00a0 We’ll never be able to get that high again.”<\/p>\n
“Kevin had to rewrite three books because we kept fucking up so badly!”<\/p>\n
“You may call me… Your Subpar.”<\/p>\n
“I’m going to get together as many Gust of Wind spells I can and I’m going to RAM Cheliax!\u00a0 I’ll probably be going a whole 20 or 30 miles an hour…”<\/p>\n
“I missed the entire country!”
\n“To your credit, it dodged.”<\/p>\n
“Maybe I should talk to people.\u00a0 I am a Charisma character.”
\n“Why break your streak of being completely useless?”<\/p>\n
“You’re all my nieces!”<\/p>\n
“Oh, I thought Massey was a lady.”
\n“So did I, until we got here…”<\/p>\n
“I am so desperately afraid to go back to that island.”<\/p>\n
“She’s only been in there a year and a half.”
\n“For doing nothing.”
\n“For being part of the wrong crew.”<\/p>\n
“Just because the players have forgotten about her doesn’t mean she’s been in the brig the whole time…”<\/p>\n
“We don’t need a shovel on a ship.\u00a0 Why do we need a shovel?”
\n“BURIED TREASURE!”
\n“We don’t have any treasure to bury.”
\n“Because you don’t have any shovels!”<\/p>\n
“…Some captained by very memorable people, and some captained by those who are not…”<\/p>\n
“We have many fine ships, only some of which have dangerous toxins in the hold that will kill you if you set foot on board…”<\/p>\n
“Clothes don’t rot in a year.\u00a0 This shirt is older than a year, and it’s fine.”
\n“Saucy, perhaps we need to reacquaint you with the conditions in the brig.”<\/p>\n
“The brig does not, in fact, have Tide.\u00a0 Or rather, it does and that’s the problem…”<\/p>\n
“Wow.\u00a0 I knew this session wasn’t going anywhere, but this session has gone nowhere like a comet…”<\/p>\n
“I don’t have to eat fierce food if I want to be a fierce pirate!\u00a0 I can eat cookie if I want!”<\/p>\n
“So you’re going to punish her for your idiocy.”
\n“Well, yes, because that’s what good leaders do.”<\/p>\n
“Why would you use that font?”
\n“To make it look authentic.\u00a0 And then I narrate it back to them, and they ask why I would use that font.”<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
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