“I think I just walked into something.”
\n“I think you just sat on a grenade.\u00a0 Does your ass hurt?”
\n
\n“What is it this time, Bryan?\u00a0 Did you put on Snopes what your real age is?”<\/p>\n
“You can’t demote me any farther!\u00a0 I already demoted myself to work under him!”
\n“Yeah – hey!”<\/p>\n
“No, he said he had to wait for some douchebag to call him back at work.”
\n“John, why didn’t you call him?\u00a0 You douchebag.”<\/p>\n
“And all this because you guys forgot about these people all the way down here.”<\/p>\n
“Somebody somewhere is taking some goddamn ramming damage today?”<\/p>\n
“You guys have a really interesting selective memory about this game; that’s all I’m saying.”<\/p>\n
“There was, like, a wink and a nod and a favor involved in that chuckle, because there was nothing funny about that.”<\/p>\n
“There was, like, a wink and a nod and a favor involved in that chuckle, because there was nothing funny about that.”<\/p>\n
“I love it.\u00a0 They invaded and said, ‘What’s the shittiest thing we can set on fire?'”<\/p>\n
“Only because we get really distracted.”
\n“‘Oooh, shiny!\u00a0 Shiny!’\u00a0 ‘It’s a fish!\u00a0 Sir, it’s a fish!'”<\/p>\n
“Is it bad form to sew *myself* into a hammock with a cannonball?”<\/p>\n
“I’m not laughing at the message; I’m laughing at the fact that it was 384 days ago.”<\/p>\n
“This message just had its birthday two weeks ago!”
\n“Were we supposed to get it gifts?\u00a0 This is awkward.”<\/p>\n
“Spearchucker Jones is your defense?”<\/p>\n
“Can you Sense Motive a wave?”<\/p>\n
“You see three rendering vats.”
\n“They’re making candles for you!”<\/p>\n
“I was thinking they were pig hunters.\u00a0 Really LONG pigs.”<\/p>\n
“So you were attacked by cannibals, right?”
\n“He looks nervous.\u00a0 ‘No, lord…'”<\/p>\n
“When did we become politally correct pirates?!”
\n“Pirates are known for being politically correct!”<\/p>\n
“Let’s talk about all the ways in which my feelings are hurt right now!”
\n“Let’s talk about all the ways in which we don’t care!”
\n“Fish have feelings.”<\/p>\n
“You can’t let any of your crew be excused from diversity training!”
\n“She’s not crew.\u00a0 She’s an officer.”<\/p>\n
“This is starting to sound like Monty Python.”
\n“Starting?”
\n“I’m pretty sure that started about 20 minutes after we started…”<\/p>\n
“Admiral Swift decides to hang the whole island for being traders.”
\n“Tra-DERs, not trai-TORs.”<\/p>\n
“We spy and sell goods.”
\n“SPY and sell goods?”
\n“Did I say spy…?”
\n“Yes.”<\/p>\n
“I’m just confused because Kacey knew all the plot points and names and stuff.”
\n“Because sometimes I fucking pay attention!”<\/p>\n
“I’m not a llama!”<\/p>\n
“Leader of terrorist llamas!”<\/p>\n
“Who doesn’t have talons?”
\n“Llamas!”<\/p>\n
“I’m not a llama!\u00a0 I’m the leader of the llamas!”<\/p>\n
“Why don’t we just teach the island to dodge?”<\/p>\n
“So in the last 45 minutes, what we have established is that Yamarino is the leader of a group of terrorist llamas and that the island is a sea turtle, and we have not, in fact, accomplished anything towards the plot.”<\/p>\n
“Uh, it’s MY island.”
\n“We can retake it.\u00a0 We took it in, like, a month.”<\/p>\n
“I’m going to run a game with a deep and rewarding mystery, and the answer is terrorist llamas, and you’re all going to be disappointed.”<\/p>\n
“Whore tunnels are how we won Ravenloft.”<\/p>\n
“Uh… I don’t think we WON Ravenloft.\u00a0 I think Ravenloft ate us.”<\/p>\n
“I was a sack of fucking maggots thank to that asshole.”<\/p>\n
“The three of us?\u00a0 Were my fault.”<\/p>\n
“No, no, that wasn’t superstitous; that was handy.”<\/p>\n
“Speaking of which, where IS Darryl’s character?\u00a0 I could use some new stuff.”<\/p>\n
“It is a statue of a silver bird, and it is mine.”
\n“Doesn’t it fly back and forth and deliver messages?”
\n“It does when I tell it to.”<\/p>\n
“Give me the fucking bird!”
\n“Wow… you’re just going to let that one lie…?”<\/p>\n
“Thank you, captain, for finally giving me the bird after all these months.”<\/p>\n
“This is never going to work.”
\n“Well, it’s never going to work for different reasons than this.”<\/p>\n
“He’s not an acting captain.”
\n“Yes, he is!\u00a0 He’s a bard; he’s an *acting* captain.”<\/p>\n
“Do you need any oils?\u00a0 Not the loving kind; they are not intended for that.”<\/p>\n
“Hey, I think we can all be grateful now that if someone says there was an explosion in their pants, there’s an explanation!\u00a0 It was the alchemist!”<\/p>\n
“Well, Bryan, only five explosions in your pants this week; I think you’re improving.”
\n“Well, I’m not in high school any more.”<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
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