“It’s not that I’m saying I’m dumb; it’s that I’m surrounded by a lot more smarter people than I used to be.”
\n
\n“They’re penalty squares.”<\/p>\n
“There’s no Kacey, so there won’t be any dancing naked for cyclopses or inevitables… right?”
\n“Well, I wouldn’t say that…”<\/p>\n
“So… attempt number 6 to print this character…”<\/p>\n
“Are they gonna awaken some horrible monster that was sleeping at the heart of the mountain?”
\n“God, I hope so.”<\/p>\n
“Which one do you think this group is going to get?”
\n“Somewhere between partial success and miserable failure.”<\/p>\n
“Can there be a Phyrric victory so we can still call it a victory?”<\/p>\n
“Bryan, if you’re laughing because you don’t have the spell you’re supposed to have…”<\/p>\n
“He’s not even paying attention to me.”
\n“That’s because you’re going to attack me and I don’t want to see it coming.”<\/p>\n
“Well, we’re going to get the boat that Kacey wrecked and fix it, and then we’re going to take that out to the ship and get it off the rocks where I wrecked it…”<\/p>\n
“Beard holds food.\u00a0 Axe stays clean.”<\/p>\n
“Uh… I learned a long time ago not to poke bloated corpses with a stick.”<\/p>\n
“Fisty arrows… yeah…”<\/p>\n
“Next time, we’re going to land the boats NOT on Corpse Beach…”<\/p>\n
“The dice think I’m not interested.”
\n“The dice say I’m not interested either, but I’m slightly more interested than you.”<\/p>\n
“Tell you what: I can uncoil the cable, and you can go back to being interesting.”<\/p>\n
“Have you seen an extremely sparkly-looking cur?”<\/p>\n
“I caught ghoul fever in the 70s; that was enough for me.”
\n“Were you BORN in the 70s?”
\n“No.”<\/p>\n
“I was successful in combat!\u00a0 I destroyed three of them!\u00a0 I’m gonna die!”<\/p>\n
“I had to be Half-Rope, and he got to be Saucy?”<\/p>\n
“What about a sailmaker’s needle?”
\n“Is it made of adamantium?”<\/p>\n
“I kick UNDEAD sand in his eyes.”<\/p>\n
“Unless the Lacedon starts eating him.”
\n“That’s what I would do…”<\/p>\n
“My work here is done.”
\n“YOUR work?”<\/p>\n
“Uh… requirement.\u00a0 You just had a pillar of flame appear behind you.\u00a0 You have to turn away, put on sunglasses, and walk away slowly.”<\/p>\n
“Oh, god.\u00a0 We have strippers again this week?”<\/p>\n
“There’s one down the hole.”
\n“Yes, you can hear suspicious smacking sounds from down there.”<\/p>\n
“Are you just trying to show up Darryl, see how many characters you can go through?”<\/p>\n
“We went through all that trouble to print, and you didn’t even last 2 hours…”<\/p>\n
“I’ve got it right here: Dying…”
\n“Gee, Darryl…”
\n“I’m surprised he doesn’t have it memorized.”<\/p>\n
“Who’s at -10 to dex and is moving really slow?\u00a0 It’s meeeee…”<\/p>\n
“You start dodging things that hit you two years ago?”<\/p>\n
“You might want to help everyone else get away from this thing?”
\n“By help, do you mean shuffle slowly away from it?”<\/p>\n
“Cardamom!”
\n“Yeah, it probably has someone’s mom in it…”<\/p>\n
“I’m going to go into the water and pretend to be kelp…”<\/p>\n
“It looks like he had a date with an iron maiden.”<\/p>\n
“Fortunately, he has Cure Light Wounds.”
\n“Would you like to cast that spell?”
\n“No!”<\/p>\n
“That’s what he does: the absolute minimum.”<\/p>\n
“I can cast Mad Monkeys.”
\n“Is it any more helpful than your spiked pit?\u00a0 Because that was an enormous contribution…”<\/p>\n
“I kinda liked you in the pit.\u00a0 It was working for me.”<\/p>\n
“Why is the ship teetering on an exposed rock?”
\n“I don’t know; ask him.”
\n“I was driving and it came up out of nowhere.”<\/p>\n
“It’s actually kind of hard to die.”
\n“Darryl would disagree with you.”<\/p>\n
“What was she doing with a pound of beef?”
\n“She was a prepared lunatic?”<\/p>\n
“I will buy him a new one.”
\n“He literally murdered someone to get this one!”
\n“I will murder someone for a new one.”<\/p>\n
“We could use this time to make an armada of rafts.\u00a0 That was the plan at one point…”<\/p>\n
“Bryan?\u00a0 Bryan, is that the look of ‘I didn’t mean to split the party, but I did’…?”<\/p>\n
“After you guys are gone and never, ever coming back, I’ll let you in on some neat things on the island.”<\/p>\n
“Your minions aren’t as nice as most of the people in this party, because they’re ACTUAL pirates…”<\/p>\n
“We have ham night once a week!”
\n“We have a night once a week where Captain Yevheniy… never mind.”<\/p>\n
“I believe the nautical term is ‘capsize’.”
\n“Uh… 13.”
\n“That’s hat size, you hippie.”
\n“He thinks Yammy is the emissary of a god.\u00a0 The rest of us think that Yammy’s a bottom-feeder.”
\n“To be fair, I was defeated by bottom-feeders once.”<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
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