“He was supposed to wrangle strippers.\u00a0 …I almost said strangle trippers…”
\n
\n“Okay, it’s not a ‘genitical’ disorder!”<\/p>\n
“So apparently Kacey’s a vampire.”
\n“Sure.\u00a0 I used to LARP.”<\/p>\n
“I’m always ready for cake; I’m a fat man.\u00a0 I don’t know if you noticed that part.”<\/p>\n
“Did they build it flammable the second time, because they didn’t learn their fucking lesson the first time?”<\/p>\n
“It’s tradition!\u00a0 Our cultural heritage is flammable cities!”<\/p>\n
“You know what the best part of this planet is?”
\n“It’s flammable?”<\/p>\n
“What you guys don’t realize is that every pun you just made leveled up the monsters by two.”<\/p>\n
“Birthday boy, serve me!”<\/p>\n
“In that order?”
\n“No, anything said louder preceedes what was said before.”<\/p>\n
“I pick the lock!”
\n“It’s a doorWAY.”
\n“It’s the only lock I’m going to be able to pick, Bryan!”<\/p>\n
“I’ll break down the non-existent door.”<\/p>\n
“When I die, I’m going to kill all of you – not your characters…”<\/p>\n
“Dire anus.”
\n“It’s not as good as my vorpal anus, thank you very much.”<\/p>\n
“But can Miguel be used as a motorcycle?\u00a0 Because that changes the entire physics of Scooby Doo.”<\/p>\n
“I have the Fly skill at 6.\u00a0 Boom! 7.”<\/p>\n
“I reach into my armor and pull out my necklace… ‘Here’s my credential.’\u00a0 Fireball.”<\/p>\n
“Hang on, I need to read the ‘so stealth didn’t work’ part.”
\n“You didn’t read that beforehand?”<\/p>\n
“I’m hanging back… assessing the situation…”
\n“Sarah?”
\n“I’m only slightly faster on the uptake than he is, with an 8.”<\/p>\n
“Now we’re in the room with the crow, we should be making bird puns, but noooo…”<\/p>\n
“Of course you like it hot German style.”
\n“…Damn it.”<\/p>\n
“He has favored enemy elf AND human.\u00a0 I don’t see anything about rope here…”<\/p>\n
“Fun.\u00a0 Nobody plays this game for *fun*.”
\n“How are we going to win this game if you’re playing for fun?”<\/p>\n
“I say to-ma-to; you say it wrong.”<\/p>\n
“When you hear someone coming, punch them in the face.”
\n“Can I punch them with my sword?”<\/p>\n
“As Shark-dog, I would be worried about ‘unnatural lust’…”<\/p>\n
“Hey, do you suppose this was Dad-o-Dicks?”<\/p>\n
“I go throw up in a corner.”
\n“Round room – no corners.”<\/p>\n
“‘I’m gonna go throw up in a corner!’ ‘There are no corners!’ ‘Stoneshape!!'”<\/p>\n
“Pepper on a shark?”<\/p>\n
“He kept losing initiative because he’d sneeze…”<\/p>\n
“It’s offering me a bouquet of claws.\u00a0 Aww…”<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
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