“I notice you didn’t mention pants.”
\n“That’s why they call it ‘commando.'”<\/p>\n
“I’m so out of touch, I’m watching Canadian cartoons from the 90s.”<\/p>\n
“Does Kacey count as terrain?”
\n“He does if I’m standing on him.”
\n“So the answer is no.”<\/p>\n
“I’d like to make a save, dammit.”
\n“Save against nudity?”<\/p>\n
“I’m with ya. Wonder-douchebag powers activate.”<\/p>\n
“I’d like to pretend that this is the worst doorknob I’ve ever touched…”
\n“I’m worried about the kind of doorknobs you’re touching.”<\/p>\n
“So you two have now seen what’s in this room.”
\n“I swallow the cyanide capsule I keep in my teeth…”<\/p>\n
“All he knows is ‘Lightening’ – so everything is slightly less heavy.”<\/p>\n
“Even *I* thought that was in poor taste.”
\n“He’s only saying that because he didn’t think of it first.”<\/p>\n
“To be fair, most of the time when John and I speak, we provoke attacks…”<\/p>\n
“It’s a round room! He can’t ever find a corner to cry in!”<\/p>\n
“Well, I can bite something for… not gonna happen…”<\/p>\n
“Yeah, fake out with the weapon; she’ll never expect the punch!”<\/p>\n
“Saucy. Sarah’s phone just farted.”<\/p>\n
“I got news for you guys: the ocean is full of whale poop. I’m used to it.”<\/p>\n
“There’s a difference betwen swimming around in the ocean, knowing that things have defecated and urinated in it, and being urinated upon.”<\/p>\n
“Well, it was nice knowing you.”
\n“Really? Was it?”<\/p>\n
“Hold on; I’ll prop up his corpse and make it look threatening.”<\/p>\n
“YOU NEVER EVEN SANG!”
\n“I know!”
\n“It would have lasted after you died! It would have lasted longer than you!”<\/p>\n
“Am I close enough? All I can see is Sarah’s miniature.”<\/p>\n
“Seven dice. Five ones.”
\n“Yahtzee!”<\/p>\n
“Don’t worry; it IS the Blackleaf family tradition to party wipe.”
\n“No, there’s usually one survivor…”<\/p>\n
“Did you just now notice that we’re not doing well?”<\/p>\n
“Do you have feats that…?”
\n“No. That was totally ball-sack luck.”<\/p>\n
“Bring it! I’m good at making characters!”<\/p>\n
“Quit gloating about your armor class, Bryan; it’s not attractive.”
\n“I’m just saying that I’m a lot easier to hit than I usually am.”<\/p>\n
“What do I need Con for?”
\n“You’ve been conning us the whole time!”<\/p>\n
“Is that what you’re built to do? Because I think this is the first time you’ve done it in SIXTEEN MONTHS.”<\/p>\n
“I have no Knowledge: Planes. I’ll call her what I want.”
\n“I have no Knowledge: Planes either. I just call her ‘that annoying bitch.'”
\n“Well, Charlie has Knowledge: Planes now, since he’s living in them…”<\/p>\n
“I think John might have the most hit points; he got hit so hard that the meter reset again.”<\/p>\n
“Someone find me a piece of glass! If I find a piece of glass, I can rub it on my crotch hair and cast Lightning!”<\/p>\n
“You are not skull-fucking the Pirate King!”
\n“No, but he might be rubbing his balls with glass.”<\/p>\n
“Darryl, I don’t really want to touch you, but I’m going to give you five hit points anyway.”<\/p>\n
“3d8 plus 12. Eleven. How the – motherfucker!”<\/p>\n
“If you grip the entire thing with your butt-cheeks, it counts.”<\/p>\n
“The line is at butt-fucking doorknobs? To be fair, that line is way, WAY down the track.”<\/p>\n
“No one wants to stand next to me anyway.”<\/p>\n
“That’s because of the smell.”
\n“Yeah, but he’s in new armor.”<\/p>\n
“Statements like that are why I have a hard time explaining what I do on Wednesday nights.”<\/p>\n
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