“I was very afraid at that time; I was new and you people were awful.”
\n
\n“Placebo Man.\u00a0 I don’t actually have any powers, but I make people feel better anyway!”<\/p>\n
“Were you using ‘the floor is lava’ as an excuse to not get your ass off the couch and do the dishes?\u00a0 Because I do that.”<\/p>\n
“Not only will we not be done with this book, we’ll have regressed BACK a book.”<\/p>\n
“What are you doing in Salt Lake City?”
\n“Going to a strip club!\u00a0 Didn’t you hear?”<\/p>\n
“What is Dr. Who?”
\n“Get out.”<\/p>\n
“We have no frame of reference for productivity.”<\/p>\n
“I’m not entirely sure I have all my teeth.\u00a0 I’m not entirely sure I had all my teeth before now, because I’d never bothered to count them…”<\/p>\n
“It sounds like it’s time to resurrect Operation Cannon Raft.”<\/p>\n
“You can respect him with the cannon.”<\/p>\n
“I think Kevin wants to give us information, and we’re arguing about cannon rafts and fish wishes.”<\/p>\n
“Look, here is cannon ball.\u00a0 I’ll write ‘respect’ on it…”<\/p>\n
“Just pull your collar up high and act like a bag of dicks.”<\/p>\n
“You can’t quit; you’re an NPC!”<\/p>\n
“He’s not going to help us.”
\n“He’s got to; we’re PCs.”<\/p>\n
“Are you selling Pirate Scout cookies?”<\/p>\n
“Why do you talk to your best friend about his magical underwear?”
\n“You don’t?”<\/p>\n
“I can’t do Brian Blessed voice.\u00a0 My mouth doesn’t open that wide.”<\/p>\n
“Nobody can open their mouth that wide.\u00a0 Brian Blessed can’t open his mouth that wide.\u00a0 He had to have his face surgically altered.”<\/p>\n
“He does prefer the term His Highness Razzmatazz.”<\/p>\n
“No, Garden Cheddar is another lord; he’s the lord of Harvest Cheddar Sun Chips.”<\/p>\n
“How do we get the message to them?”
\n“We frustrate Kacey until he sounds like an alarm or siren, and then everyone can hear him…”<\/p>\n
“…You’re laughing at ‘girth’, aren’t you.”<\/p>\n
“Do we have to buy a ticket to see Lord Raffles?”<\/p>\n
“We have come lo, these many miles…”
\n“Shut up.\u00a0 So…”<\/p>\n
“It’s an opportunity to black the eye of Chelliax.”
\n“Without trying to ram the country; that didn’t work out so well.”
\n“It dodged.”<\/p>\n
“We stroked the oak and ended up in another city.”
\n“Well, thanks for ruining the rest of this…” [Angry Orchard cider]<\/p>\n
“I thought I was the plucky comic relief!”
\n“The asshole usually thinks that!”<\/p>\n
“I was going to say… how much longer can we carry this conversation forward before we realize we’re all horrible people?”<\/p>\n
“Next time we send the fish-man, because at least when he looks bad, he looks bad from the start.”<\/p>\n
“Somebody actually remembered a name; I am impressed.”<\/p>\n
“Not that I have anything against bards, which I do.”
\n“Except you work for one.”
\n“Don’t tell them that…”<\/p>\n
“Kacey, you are a slippery fucker.”<\/p>\n
“Because we know the fish and the trees have an alliance.”<\/p>\n
“I think the wizard’s becoming a Sith over there.”<\/p>\n
“Everybody in the group has to click Accept on the damn quest!”<\/p>\n
“What does petard taste like?”
\n“It has gluten.”<\/p>\n
“Nobody expects the fish-man inquisition.”<\/p>\n
“At least it has local color.”
\n“I’m pretty sure that color is ‘cholera’.”<\/p>\n
“I’m pretty sure I just got the clap looking at this place.”<\/p>\n
“Now the question is, how MANY of them can sneak attack me in one turn…?”<\/p>\n
“No.\u00a0 There’s no one in here – especially now that you’re buying drinks for them – that is interested in fighting you.”<\/p>\n
“Uh, do we have plans for how to rearrange the power structure when some of these pirates die?”
\n“I think we were hoping that the PCs could just slide on into those roles…”<\/p>\n
“Not all pirate lords are pro-slavery.”
\n“Not all pirate lords are pro-slavery.”
\n“Didn’t I just say that?”<\/p>\n
“We’ve got loose morals!\u00a0 SIGN THE DAMN NOTE!”<\/p>\n
“If you’ve got high enough Linguisitics, you can sign for someone!”
\n“That’s called forgery.”
\n“As a pirate, that’s the same thing!”<\/p>\n
“I signed it with my own hand.”
\n“Did you have a pen?”
\n“Nope!”<\/p>\n
“If you have any magic macrame, I’d be interested in rubbing my body against.”
\n“If I had any macrame, I’d burn it before you came over to my house.”<\/p>\n
“Fuck, someone’s actually reading the evidence!\u00a0 That’s just a cookbook; I lost it somewhere along the way in all the teleporting!”<\/p>\n
“Not just Pegsworthy; I’d like to put my name on the list of idiots as well.”<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
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