“Wait, do we set a standard?”
\n
\n“We set a bar?\u00a0 Our bar is like a rolling pin sitting on the ground.”
\n“I’m gonna say a rolling pin is too big…”<\/p>\n
“But don’t quote me on that.”
\n“Oh, I’m gonna quote you.”
\n“No, Sarah does the quotes.”<\/p>\n
“And I told him that unless it was free Pathfinder adventure module and free cup night, the answer was no.”<\/p>\n
“Except they don’t have stand-up poetry nights there.”
\n“They do when I’m there.”<\/p>\n
“Octo-rito?\u00a0 That’s like when you eat all eight flavors of Dorito at the same time.”<\/p>\n
“I don’t believe any of you.”<\/p>\n
“And most of the time, when I think something, it’s wrong.\u00a0 Has anyone else noticed that?”
\n“Yes.”<\/p>\n
“I don’t know that I can do anything with that information.”
\n“You could surrender.”<\/p>\n
“It’s rude to step on another player’s toes like that.\u00a0 They plan to surrender, but you surrender first because you go first in initiative.”<\/p>\n
“Ah!\u00a0 Burn a brake into the ship so the fire can’t burn past it!”<\/p>\n
“So Oslo… how do you feel about lightning?”<\/p>\n
“What are you gluing Pete to?”
\n“The rigging!”<\/p>\n
“Wait, I see how this combat is going!\u00a0 This week, THEY’RE the PCs!”<\/p>\n
“Do we not want to blow things apart?”
\n“No, we want to blow things apart.\u00a0 In fact, that’s my next move…”<\/p>\n
“Devils, demons, they’re all the same.”
\n“Racist.”<\/p>\n
“From hell’s heart, I shall leap into the ocean at thee!”<\/p>\n
“You went there; I just got stuck there because I’m a pervert.”<\/p>\n
“This is no longer a game of who can say the same thing.”
\n“This is now a game of who folds first.”
\n“This is a game of ‘anybody got a lighter? I need to set this thing on fire…'”<\/p>\n
“Because it’s awesome and I’ve totally forgotten to use it for the last four or five months.\u00a0 Maybe more.”<\/p>\n
“How’d you end up on the ground again?!”
\n“I never stood up.”<\/p>\n
“However, I will tell you that there are things happening on the back of the ship that you’ve only seen happen INSIDE a cannon before…”<\/p>\n
“There’s a very interesting battle going on over there!\u00a0 Captain, sails at one third…”
\n“All ahead slow!”<\/p>\n
“I got to kill a bunch of things.\u00a0 Character design accomplished.”<\/p>\n
“The definition of ‘fleet’ is multiple ships.\u00a0 More than one.”
\n“Really?”<\/p>\n
“Three points of plunder worth of random tchotchkes… This is the weirdest plunder ever.”<\/p>\n
“Take… Act… The confusion.\u00a0 Attack!”
\n“What?”<\/p>\n
“That monkey is NOT alive any more.”<\/p>\n
“Nobody even remembers you have one until it’s unimportant.”
\n“Or until it’s funny.”<\/p>\n
“He’s not the man he used to be.”
\n“I still have both my testicles!”
\n“No, you’re not here!”<\/p>\n
“I’d say many things have already changed.”
\n“Yes, I became a war hero!”
\n*silence*<\/p>\n
“I agree.”
\n“I thought for a minute you were going to say, ‘I accept.'”
\n“No, that’s what was on the inside.”<\/p>\n
“We’ll see which breaks first!”
\n“Bryan or the bottle?”<\/p>\n
“So what I’m hearing here is that Bryan wants to sit in a corner and play with himself.”<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
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