“I have to kill all the monkeys and start again!”
\n
\n“I’m willing to bet I can snap your phone in half.”
\n*pause*
\n“I’m willing to bet you shouldn’t.”<\/p>\n
“That’s because I didn’t think that cheese whiz was either hyphenated or fluffy!”<\/p>\n
“You know, Cheryl, I can’t leave both the belly button and the beard.”<\/p>\n
On ‘Say the Same Thing’:
\n“If this is the word we get it on, I’m done being your friend.”<\/p>\n
“I’m trying to pick something that would connect those two words.”
\n“I’m trying not to picture something that would connect those two words…”<\/p>\n
“Saucy’s been going south for ages.”<\/p>\n
“What happened to Yammy’s ship?”
\n“It mutinied.\u00a0 Not the crew – the ship.”<\/p>\n
“Yes, sir, there’s… there’s ice cream cake in the galley.\u00a0 Just be done with it before the battle starts.”<\/p>\n
“I can’t help it; his schtick is just hanging out there!”<\/p>\n
“I volunteered to help, and no good deed goes unpunished.”<\/p>\n
“Well, I just said it.\u00a0 Doesn’t mean it’s true.”<\/p>\n
“We call it Saucy’s Rock because of all the sauce we put on them after we eat them.”<\/p>\n
“It’s not… uh… Lance Armstrong?”
\n“…What?”<\/p>\n
“It’s a little late to case Control Weather.\u00a0 It takes 10 minutes.”
\n“It’s not too late if you want to sit out the fight…”<\/p>\n
“Sir, boobs on the horizon!”<\/p>\n
“Well, I’m looking at what numbers he wrote down, and it’s going to need to be taller.”<\/p>\n
“I was really proud of my roll until just then.”<\/p>\n
“I knew I should have been in control the whole time.”
\n“We tried; you refused!”
\n“No, I simply haven’t accepted yet.”<\/p>\n
“You have a raft with a cannon, sir.”<\/p>\n
“And the dagger couldn’t talk, but it was a DICK.”<\/p>\n
“That’s okay; I can go down with the ship.\u00a0 It’s a submersible!”<\/p>\n
“Did you just say ‘Fistopholes’?”<\/p>\n
“Where’s the horse?”
\n“I’m just gonna pretend y’all aren’t talking.”<\/p>\n
“It’s not good to say ‘my ass’ when you’re moving Fistopholes, you know.”<\/p>\n
“Look, if y’all had just done Operation Cannon Raft like I’d told you to…”
\n“He’s on a cannon raft!”
\n“SPRING THE TRAP, MAN!”<\/p>\n
“Can I Keen my fleet?”
\n“No, cleave!”
\n“No, I want to Keen my fleet so I can crit…”<\/p>\n
“I totally trust Cheryl – ”
\n“Bryan, you’re screwed.”<\/p>\n
“Yeah, why don’t you believe in yourself, Bryan?”
\n“Yeah, I don’t believe in you guys either.”<\/p>\n
“Has that joke already been made 10 times tonight?”
\n“No, I have no vowels.”<\/p>\n
“Going to rendevous?”
\n“Sure!\u00a0 I’m going to write ‘hello’ on all the cannon balls.\u00a0 Or better yet – ‘parlay’.”<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
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