“This being the internet, I’m sure there are people out there claiming that scopes are cheating.”
\n“Uh… I agree.\u00a0 Scopes are very disadvantageous to people charging across the battlefield.”
\n“To be fair, so is aiming.”
\n
\n“If it makes you feel better, I haven’t trusted you in a long time.”<\/p>\n
“I just realized today that you could play a Wraith game where everyone played Patrick Swayze.”
\n“I’m not playing that.”
\n“I’m not running that game.”<\/p>\n
“That’d be the Swayze-ist Wraith game ever.”<\/p>\n
“The first rule of Fight Club is ‘we have Meat Loaf’?”<\/p>\n
“Second rule of Fight Club: do not put ketchup on Meat Loaf.”
\n“He doesn’t like it.”<\/p>\n
“Third rule of Fight Club: you can do anything for love, but DON’T DO THAT!”
\n“Put ketchup on Meat Loaf?”<\/p>\n
“I’m also trying not to throw up at the moment.”
\n“I’m sorry.”
\n“Well, you knew I was going to get disgusted with you eventually.”<\/p>\n
“My hat itches.”<\/p>\n
“No, it wasn’t recycled.\u00a0 It was repurposed.”<\/p>\n
“You know, the easiest way to grapple with another ship is to slam into it.”<\/p>\n
“I think we need to maneuver, Captain.\u00a0 I think we should capsize!\u00a0 I’m not sure what it means, but it sounds cool.”
\n“Uh… when you do it to yourself, it’s called scuttling.”<\/p>\n
“But I need a ship to be a captain!”
\n“You’ve got a cannon raft.\u00a0 C’mon.”<\/p>\n
“Well, phantasmal killers aren’t very bright.”<\/p>\n
“What did I tell you about rocking the boat, Bryan? I specifically said, ‘don’t rock the boat!'”<\/p>\n
“It’s the Generally Un-Dusted Lucre.”<\/p>\n
“I agree with you, but Kevin is entitled to his own opinion.\u00a0 Even if it’s wrong.”<\/p>\n
“So does this mean that I have to cancel my game where everybody was going to play members of Queen?”<\/p>\n
“That… that’s hurtful.”
\n“That’s who I am.”<\/p>\n
“So I’m going with the Chris Christofferson strategy.”
\n“Which is what?”
\n“Sailing away.”<\/p>\n
“Oh, I thought that was just a silly hat.”
\n“See, I’m not the only one with problems!”<\/p>\n
“Those are very important things… that have names…”<\/p>\n
“It’s very close to 30.”
\n“What is it?”
\n“13.”<\/p>\n
“On a cosmic scale, 13 and 30 are very close.”<\/p>\n
“70 points of damage, sir.”
\n“REALLY?”
\n“No, 17 points of damage.”
\n“On a cosmic scale, they’re very close…”<\/p>\n
*sung* “Time traveling damage…!”
\n“This damage is from the future.”
\n“Actually, this damage is from the past.”<\/p>\n
“Do you have some kind of app that tells you how to sports?”<\/p>\n
“I mostly remember that because it won’t make it to Twitter.”<\/p>\n
“That is a croissant wrench.”<\/p>\n
“I love how you’re not even sitting at the table.”
\n“Sarah’s character was the final straw.\u00a0 It just seems dangerous.”<\/p>\n
“…Restless Leg Syndrome, which is a thing.”
\n“But only when you’re asleep.\u00a0 When you’re awake, it’s just Leg.”<\/p>\n
“We put one more character on this boat, and he’s going to be playing from the bathroom.”
\n“He’ll be telecommuting…”<\/p>\n
“Are you saying that you have incredibly small hands, or are you saying that horses have… you know what?\u00a0 Never mind.”<\/p>\n
“He did get a free move action.\u00a0 RIGHT off the ship.”<\/p>\n
“Ooo!\u00a0 How about a frozen custard golem?”<\/p>\n
“He nearly killed himself with a catapult full of trees.”<\/p>\n
“Charley sauce?\u00a0 I don’t want that.”
\n“Nobody wants that.”<\/p>\n
“If you set off its powder keg, it has what we call a bad day.”<\/p>\n
“And when you become king, I will continue to do my best to keep you alive, assuming you let me live.”
\n“I appreciate that!”<\/p>\n
“He had a full round to abdicate, and he didn’t!”<\/p>\n
“And glittering tar is always going to make the day better.”<\/p>\n
“We’ve bedazzled him.”<\/p>\n
“We’re going to tar and glitter his ass.”<\/p>\n
“The only thing that would make the tar pool better is if it was a pit.”<\/p>\n
“Your Majesty, the ship is yours.”
\nAnd with that… our pirate campaign ends.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
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