“Heather was like, ‘I’m really only comfortable backing one dead cat at a time.'”
\n<\/p>\n
“I suppose I could check the library, sir.”
\n“I don’t know if they’re open.”
\n“I meant the manor library, sir.”<\/p>\n
“That’s right. Because we have a whole year before we die.”
\n“That’s not true.”<\/p>\n
“Where unfortunately, they were murdered. The whole expedition.”
\n“That seems inconvenient to any archaeological expedition…”<\/p>\n
“My lord and I have spent much time abroad, and have not been murdered.”<\/p>\n
“Well, I’m going to be here for a few minutes, so role-play amongst yourselves.”<\/p>\n
“Sir, do we know a Miss Erica Carlysle or Victoria Post?”
\n“What would that fall under?”
\n“Would that be heavy machinery?”<\/p>\n
“That makes more sense than what I was going to do.”
\n“I’m afraid to ask what you were going to do…”<\/p>\n
“You’re not missing out on cold balls.”<\/p>\n
“A napkin? Why does it have a napkin in it? It doesn’t even have writing on it. It looks like you just wiped your mouth.”<\/p>\n
“He told me today there were 42 in the game, and we probably weren’t going to get to them all. Well, we’re on pace…”<\/p>\n
“Well, I have a lot of nuts… NOTES to follow.”<\/p>\n
“Score! Floor score!”
\n*several* “And seven years ago?”<\/p>\n
“So my gift to you all was to not be here and bring the luck score down by 20 points.”<\/p>\n
“That kind of call is never good in a role playing game.”
\n“Or in real life.”
\n“It is a lot more common in my role playing games…”<\/p>\n
“I plan to be there at 7:45, because a gentleman is always early.”
\n“I plan to be there at 8.”
\n“15.”
\n“Drunk.”<\/p>\n
“To be fair, he probably started drinking at 8.”
\n“AM.”
\n“Yesterday.”<\/p>\n
“You’re there to keep it in line in case it gets unruly. Go discipline the car!”<\/p>\n
“Yes. As opposed to premeditated nuts.”<\/p>\n
“Are a lot of people taking the stairs, or is this an elevator kind of hotel?”<\/p>\n
“Did you know you have foreigners in this hotel?”<\/p>\n
“No, see, I’m gonna get drunk at some party, months from now, and I’m going to be like, ‘I have this funny story…’ And I’m gonna get punched in the mouth, and it’s gonna be all of your faults.”<\/p>\n
“We should retitle this campaign, ‘Who will be driven to drink first?'”<\/p>\n
“Pay the valet out front not to move the car, but to make sure no one steals the wheels.”<\/p>\n
“I believe he’s a writer of some minor report.”
\n“A noble profession.”
\n“Not how I practice it.”<\/p>\n
“Next you’ll be telling me they skip the 13th floor.”
\n“They do.”
\n“Maybe when they get to the 13th, they realize they forgot one.”<\/p>\n
“The true horror of this campaign is going to be low living standards?”<\/p>\n
“When did you become the Hamburglar?”<\/p>\n
“I do believe I should have brought the double barreled.”
\n“I have the single malt, sir.”<\/p>\n
“If you would like a Scooby snack, you must catch the man first.”<\/p>\n
“I got a big ol’ eyeful of what’s in that room, and that’s nothing I want on my suit…”<\/p>\n
“And then I’ll go investigate the body.”
\n“Which one?”
\n“The one on the bed. Not the one missing a limb.”
\n“We know what happened to him.”<\/p>\n
“I will close his eyes. Unless he tries to bite me when I do so, in which case I will stab him.”<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
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