“You’re trying to smart with a dwarf.”
\n“I’m trying to smart with a ranger.”
\n“Fair point.”
\n<\/p>\n
“Did the floor suddenly pitch on you?”
\n“No, I got dizzy looking for the tiny lines…”<\/p>\n
“I seem to recall the proper term here was ‘shotgun coozy.'”<\/p>\n
“Yeah, I didn’t set it on fire at all.”
\n“And I don’t know anyone that might have.”
\n“I might have…”<\/p>\n
“Somebody’s got some spleenin’ to do.”<\/p>\n
“And thus we lost a bellhop.”<\/p>\n
[Discussing the British period-appropriate term for the homeless…]
\n“Tramp.”
\n“Hey, you don’t need to call me names.”
\n“I’m just making polite conversation.”<\/p>\n
“He’s eight; what do you want?”
\n“Death metal.”<\/p>\n
“Either I will eventually hit him or he will fall over laughing at my attempt.”<\/p>\n
“Oh, I’m not surprised at all.”
\n“Are you disappointed in us?”
\n“Yes.”<\/p>\n
“I was at the hospital being treated for a mugging. By an octopus. With teeth.”
\n“I don’t know what kind of clubs they were using, but they were odd.”<\/p>\n
“It’s nine AM. Do you know where your liver is?”<\/p>\n
“You hear a knock on the door.”
\n“I’m dressed when I answer it this time.”
\n“You really haven’t had time to sleep yet…”
\n“I didn’t say I was asleep.”<\/p>\n
“Ah, no. This would probably not even be the first time I’ve had a knife and someone’s wallet and been avoiding the cops in London.”<\/p>\n
“‘What kind of response were you expecting?’ I wonder aloud.”<\/p>\n
“Is there a telephone in this warehouse?”
\n“No! It’s the 20s…”<\/p>\n
“1920s emoji conversation…”<\/p>\n
“Eldridge and Bakul… Bucky. I’ll call him Bucky.”
\n“Careful with him. One wrong word…”<\/p>\n
“Are you dual-wielding your half-spear and shovel?”
\n“No, I’ve left the shovel. Now it’s half spear and half gun.”<\/p>\n
“I would like to point out that previously, people thought MY ideas were bad.”<\/p>\n
“Whatever, you want carpet, it can be carpet. You can be wrong.”<\/p>\n
“It’s Bum-Chaser now.”
\n“He comes from a long line of bum-chasers…”<\/p>\n
“I’m not sure whose turn it is to speak. Do you want to roll initiative?”<\/p>\n
“We haven’t saved anyone yet; why should we start now?”
\n“That’s not true! We got Bucky, and Runs South, and…”<\/p>\n
“I’m gonna start handing this shit out on the street out of spite. Want a priceless statue? Here you go.”<\/p>\n
“We send postcards of the Indian Ocean, with a circle…”
\n“No, no, we just start sending him photos of everything that made us lose sanity.”<\/p>\n
“Every single person here is gonna have to make a Sanity check at my body odor when we meet up.”<\/p>\n
“Mimes? Why are you burning mimes?”
\n(multiple:) “Why not?”
\n“Because no one can hear them scream.”<\/p>\n
“Technically they can scream. Darryl apparently only kills really dedicated mimes.”<\/p>\n
“If they are an actual mime, they will not scream with their dying breath.”<\/p>\n
“I bought a pig.”
\n“I thought it was an elephant.”
\n“That too.”<\/p>\n
“Well, if you want to crash the cultist’s party…”<\/p>\n
“It’s Fighting: Farm Implements, thank you very much.”<\/p>\n
“Are you tired of having constant temperature in your pants? If you are, let me introduce you to the creepy five-tentacled statue…”<\/p>\n
“This is gonna bite us in the ass so hard.”
\n“Which part?”<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
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