“I’m not saying I’m going to make them do it. I’m saying I’m going to accompany them in and draw it when no one’s looking. I’m not a monster!”
\n<\/p>\n
“Well, we’re about 37 minutes from my burning the manor to the ground, so y’all might want to get on that.”<\/p>\n
“It was the accent that really made that work. I mean, you say ‘drawing penises’ in a normal voice, and it doesn’t work.”<\/p>\n
“I think there’s a conversation at the other end of the table that I’m not participating in.”
\n“I think there’s a conversation being had at Pete, but Pete is not participating in it.”<\/p>\n
“I think we established at the end of last session that I’m the backup plan.”
\n“That’s right. You’re the only thing keeping us from a TPK.”<\/p>\n
“You deal with the rats, I’ll deal with the voice?”
\n“I’ll deal with this IV.”<\/p>\n
“Then let’s try to poke it without falling into the circle that we’ve been warned is dangerous.”
\n“No, I warned *her.*”<\/p>\n
“Can I borrow a pencil?”
\n“Nah. I got the bag out just to torment you.”<\/p>\n
“We all know what happens when you stare at things consistently: you end up a million years in the past and die before we all meet you.”<\/p>\n
“What kind of human was it?”
\n“I think this horn means it was a male!”<\/p>\n
“Nigh invulnerable, like the Tick.”<\/p>\n
“Fill it with holes instead of me.”
\n“That was the plan.”<\/p>\n
“Is aiming a thing?”
\n“…Yes. It’s generally considered that your characters are aiming.”<\/p>\n
“I’m feeling pretty good about my hospital bed.”<\/p>\n
“However, you see through the hole that the heiress is covered in gore. The butler is going to be upset with you.”<\/p>\n
“Uh. Which direction did you push it?”
\n“Backwards.”
\n“Towards me, you motherfucker.”<\/p>\n
“Better than eels.”
\n“Sort of.”<\/p>\n
“And you can have my jacket.”
\n“I will probably need more than just a jacket, you motherfucker.”<\/p>\n
“If we had to put a digit on it, it would be single?”
\n“Yes. Possibly a singular digit.”<\/p>\n
“Having re-re-re-re-disposed of the monster…”<\/p>\n
“Are you going with the ‘ambulance’ or the ‘fire truck’?”<\/p>\n
“Can we make sure that we thoroughly douse the cabinet that’s bigger in the inside?”
\n“Yes.”<\/p>\n
“When you guys say you burned it down, salted the earth, ripped the planet in half…”
\n“And peed on it.”
\n“Then I want to make sure I get the color of the pee right.”<\/p>\n
“We’ve made it to day three without addressing that Mr. Lin is going to die of dehydration.”
\n“No, I’m attending to it. I haven’t forgotten.”<\/p>\n
“I’ve got good news and bad news about this. While *we* know that we’ve destroyed her mind…”
\n“*We* don’t.”<\/p>\n
“We’re split into kind of a nice three-way.”
\n“What?!”<\/p>\n
“From the guy that is not an asshole.”
\n“That we are aware of.”
\n“So far.”<\/p>\n
“I think it is time to untie him.”
\n“Not necessary. The ropes are sliced through.”<\/p>\n
“You cannot find his head.”
\n“That’s unfortunate, but an acceptable loss.”<\/p>\n
“We’re only burning this place down from the second floor up.”<\/p>\n
“Yeah, the Wong Pu river now has some little bits of rope and some really nice towels.”<\/p>\n
“…That I’m pretty sure someone took a taste of.”
\n“Yes, I did.”
\n“Yeah, that was soylent blue.”<\/p>\n
“Does it say anything about tasting it?”
\n“No. It figures if you need a snack, you’re going to go down to the kitchen.”<\/p>\n
“That was the point. It says the blood of the innocent – I’m trying to figure out how much blood we need.” *pause* “…That did not come out the way I intended.”<\/p>\n
“We were more likely to burn his fingertips off than cut his hands off”<\/p>\n
“Wait, how do I have a higher mythos than you?”
\n“I died.”<\/p>\n
“Did we figure out how much blood?”
\n“And how innocent?”<\/p>\n
“Since I am not a cultist, my blood would suffice.”
\n“Well, since I can’t chant, I’m happy to donate my blood.”<\/p>\n
“So the scale has gone from ‘not a cultist’ to somewhere between ‘virgin’ and ‘Frenchman.'”<\/p>\n
“Strange cat and children.”
\n“Ah.”
\n“I think ‘strange captive children’ was better.”<\/p>\n
“Is there anybody in this party that has 0 Cthulhu Mythos?”<\/p>\n
“I don’t think draining it into a bag makes it innocent again.”<\/p>\n
“It’s plastic and it’s not biodegradable, but it’s not evil!”<\/p>\n
“She doesn’t translate exactly what you say.”
\n“Yes, because otherwise the party would have been chased out of China.”<\/p>\n
“How much does a street urchin cost?”
\n“They’re filled with Mythos. And lice.”<\/p>\n
“I’m not willing to go that far.”
\n“I wasn’t willing to cut off hands…”<\/p>\n
“You can dance if you want to. But your friends will leave you behind.”<\/p>\n
“I feel like we’re going to have to do with magic like the A-Team had to do with B.A…”<\/p>\n
“I like that we’re specializing in the good kind of arson.”<\/p>\n
“You have to go on vacation. Please. Go now.”<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
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