“So we have Schroedinger’s cthuloids.”
\n<\/p>\n
“And it would have been so much better to have our two gunfighters shooting at each other…”<\/p>\n
“That doesn’t make sense. We all exist in the same dimensions. Some of it just do better.”<\/p>\n
“John, is there something you’d like to tell us? Are you a squirrel?”
\n“No, but I do like to rob bird feeders.”<\/p>\n
“I will not be a sucker to your shenanigans. I mean, unless you offer me something really good. What have you got?”<\/p>\n
“He’s a nice guy.”
\n“And from what I understand, he’s very vulnerable to lightning guns.”
\n“Yeah, but I’m pretty sure that can be said of anyone.”<\/p>\n
“That sounds reasonable. Wait… are we going to cut them open?”<\/p>\n
“I grew up on a farm…”
\n“Who ran the farm, Hannibal Lecter?”
\n“It was like the Texas Chainsaw Massacre…”<\/p>\n
“Then they came up with the crank handsaw massacre…”<\/p>\n
“That was the Texas eggbeater massacre.”<\/p>\n
“Do we have appropriate injection apparatus?”
\n“Syringes?”<\/p>\n
“He hands you what you desparately hope is not a stomach.”
\n“Ewwww.”
\n“What, you can’t stomach it?”<\/p>\n
“We definitely chose the moral middle ground.”
\n“I chose this course of action to keep from blowing up the city.”<\/p>\n
“I write like I have stock in the company that makes commas.”<\/p>\n
“No, I’m going to make it so if I become irrational, it will take slightly longer for me to shoot you.”<\/p>\n
“When I hear you say you’re unloading the shotgun…”<\/p>\n
“Well, I’m certainly not going to tell people how to get here. I might, in fact, make a career of guiding people away.”<\/p>\n
“Do we need to know?”
\n“Glad you walked away now?”<\/p>\n
“That’s an image no man at this table needed.”
\n“I think that’s an image no woman at this table needed.”<\/p>\n
“If I don’t want things to leak, I should probably stop putting holes in them.”<\/p>\n
“Oh, are we demanding tweets now?”
\n“No, I just thought it was funny.”
\n“I have to decide what I’m doing first, jesus christ.”<\/p>\n
“Good lord. I said no because I wanted more information on how to stop it, not on what it was going to do!”<\/p>\n
“You see Ulrich’s beard grow a few inches, his skin gets sallow…”
\n“You could have gotten your afro back.”<\/p>\n
“You didn’t know it was a hair-growing machine!”<\/p>\n
“She was being prepared – ”
\n“For something creepy.”
\n“By someoneone…”
\n“Creepy.”<\/p>\n
“So what do you thing happens to the sphincter when you shoot it with a lightning gun?”
\n“It puckers.”<\/p>\n
“What. Is. Your. Nation? It has a butthole! Your nation is a butthole!”<\/p>\n
“So you’re saying Australia stops at the surface…?”
\n“This is not Rappaportopia!”<\/p>\n
“He wants to create a zipline that goes over the Earth’s butthole. You’re basically building a thong!”<\/p>\n
“Anybody else want boobs?”<\/p>\n
“All of the things you don’t tweet, and that gets tweeted?!”<\/p>\n
“Why do you care?”
\n“I don’t understand the question.”<\/p>\n
“Humans do not typically rehabilitate from autopsy.”<\/p>\n
“Go ahead and press it, if it’ll help with our other problem. What is our other problem?”<\/p>\n
“I hope he does air quotes with his claws.”<\/p>\n
“He’s just going to death ray them all as soon as we leave the room. I’m okay with that.”<\/p>\n
“That is not the same as the end of the world.”
\n“No, we said the world’s end.”<\/p>\n
“So they are carrying parasites, then. They should be disposed of in a humane and almost heroic method.”<\/p>\n
“‘You’re possessed by a demon, go blow yourself up.’ I don’t know if that’s going to work.”
\n“If the alternative is being disassembled…”<\/p>\n
“We could send Guy!”<\/p>\n
“To be honest, I’ve been trying to decide why Stanley would follow the group when they left Australia.”
\n“So you’re going to do it as a projectile?”<\/p>\n
“It disturbs me that that’s your plan when I’m on the line, but not when it’s a zombie.”<\/p>\n
“Four. If I know anything, I recognize hair growth.”<\/p>\n
“Is that, like, a metaphor of mechanical repair you’re doing there? Like interpretive dance?”<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
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